View Full Version : losing my son

Alistair Hosie
03-18-2005, 01:47 PM
My son Russell is going to Australia in a few weeks to start anew life and we are going to miss him.Russell is a doctor of medicine and is about to embark upon a new life.
We are trying to encourage him as we know he is excited but at the same time we will sorely miss him.
Have any of you guys been in the same situation?
It seems so far away anyway!
I guess I am just feeling a bit sad at the moment as well as excited for him Alistair

03-18-2005, 02:00 PM
Well i will be loosing one of my best friend soon Alistair .
He is going to Adelaide (south Australia)
He is going there as an electrician.
I look on it as an opertunity for some good holidays in the future.
look on it that way and it aint so bad .
all the best...mark

03-18-2005, 02:05 PM
Jaysus!! Don't scare us like that!!!!!!By the title I thought you meant something else.

Congradulations for your son. Fortunately (or unfortunately) they all grow up and move away. The bright side is, now you and you're wife have a new place to run away to.

03-18-2005, 02:18 PM
Our youngest daughter went to New Zealand last August to work on her quest for music stardom. Believe it or not it was Russell, New Zealand! She did return 2 days before Christmas, but all the while she was gone we sorely missed her. Email just doesn't replace a hug! Hang in there.

03-18-2005, 02:29 PM
I agree with Rustybolt, a title like that will scare the bejeezus out any parent. I know what you feel like though, I have one son in college about 3,500 miles away and my daughter will be leaving this summer going to a college about 5,000 miles away.


03-18-2005, 04:30 PM
I left my parents in Southampton, UK 22 years ago so I suppose I was to your son what my parents are to you.
As MArk says, ti allows for long vacations at a home away from home.
I think you learn to appreciate your family far more when you're not living in their pockets.
What's the expression? Absence makes the heart grow fonder?

3 Phase Lightbulb
03-18-2005, 04:45 PM
Can't you just make another one? http://bbs.homeshopmachinist.net//smile.gif


03-18-2005, 04:48 PM
Hmmmm, Botany Bay comes to mind.

03-18-2005, 04:54 PM
Dang it Alistair, DON'T DO THAT!

Start saving up for some plane tickets for next Xmas. I understand the climate down south is a bit better than Scotland.

Spin Doctor
03-18-2005, 05:08 PM
I swq the topic title and I prepared for the worst. Alistair you're not losing a son, you're gaining a travel destination! And besides the climate anywhere is better than Scotland http://bbs.homeshopmachinist.net//rolleyes.gif

Your Old Dog
03-18-2005, 05:13 PM
I expect they'll be many trips downunder in your future! Suggest you loose the kilt! Don't know how fashionable they are down there and you might have to fight your way out of every tavern you visit ! It won't be so bad as you think, just upgrade your computer and webcam! I chat coast to coast with a friend so often it's like chatting over the backyard fence and it's free !!

03-18-2005, 05:16 PM
Its not that bad down here in the colonies. Where abouts in oz is he going to. We have a big shortage of country gp's.
The weather certainly is different to Scotland. I would suggest you visit in our winter months as the summers can be a little harsh for someone from cooler climes.
I'm sure he will be made welcome out here.

Peter S
03-18-2005, 05:39 PM
Those with sense left Scotland, England etc many years ago for down under (or, in Australia's case, those with no choice). http://bbs.homeshopmachinist.net//smile.gif http://bbs.homeshopmachinist.net//smile.gif
Cheer up Alistair, sounds like a good reason to go and visit him one day.

[This message has been edited by Peter S (edited 03-18-2005).]

03-18-2005, 05:57 PM
Alistair, it is hard on the heart when the children leave home, and I imagine , even harder when they depart for the other side of the globe. But they must leave.
It is not goodbye only a "see you soon" and besides you will find the real Aussies to be a friendly bunch ( but very one eyed with their sport http://bbs.homeshopmachinist.net//biggrin.gif http://bbs.homeshopmachinist.net//smile.gif and they love a sheep joke or two, usually at the Kiwis' expense http://bbs.homeshopmachinist.net//biggrin.gif) When you visit your son be sure to hop the ditch and come see New Zealand also, you will be made most welcome.

cheers Alistair, Ken

John Stevenson
03-18-2005, 06:21 PM
That's a bugger loosing the rent he pays.

John S.

03-18-2005, 06:25 PM
I can feel for you, but I was the "son that left". However, not an entire world away, just 2900 miles. I rarely see my father but for every three or four years, and we were close. Yes, it is hard on the kid too. The best thing you can do, from my experience on the other side of it all, show support, always keep in touch, and do not question the move or motives. All of this was done for me. My father supported it for the past 17 years now, and in fact says to me it was the best thing I ever did, moving a long way off and proving myself on my own terms.

Love him immensely for it all, and I know it was hard on him, but he also showed me the true man he is. We talk sometimes once a month, sometimes three times a week. This makes it all the more spcial as we do not feel 'scheduled" to talk, we just do it because we do - not by obligation.

Ah, good luck my friend, looks like you hav the right attitude.

I am kind of losing my daughter as well, the one ho runs the CNC's with me. 4 years old now, discovered something more interesting than G-code and surfacing - damn those boys.

03-18-2005, 07:07 PM
I think you are making a fuss about nothing and being a bit childish, No disrespect, but he's going to be a doctor, he's not being shipped off to war, alot of father right now
wish their sons were going to Oz instead of
the mddle east.
You will now have to to reflect of all your short comings as a parent, there is nothing to do about this
as the time has past but you can hug him,
tell him how great he is and how much you love him. Did you ever leave home, if so tell him about your adventures and fears. Call him, write letters, send him totally useless stuff in the mail just for laughs, he'll enjoy it and it will bring you a little closer. I don't see my dad but once every 3 or 4 years, he was just a mechanic
but he taught me much about life and even though he is now retired and I am retired after 30 years in the service and my kids are grown, when I do see him he still has a worklist of things for me to do around his house. After my "chores" are completed he breaks out the beer (which I somehow have been tricked into paying for) and we sit down and have some of the best times I have ever had in my life.

03-18-2005, 07:42 PM
Paltalk, a simple chat program where you can "see" and speak clearly to someone around the world. All it takes is a internet connection. Membership is about $15 a year. I saw things in them chatrooms that I never saw before.

You are not "losing your son" just distancing him.

03-18-2005, 11:08 PM
Life is not about the end, it is all about the journey. Your and your son's journey may only be begining. May your journey be great. from Bob Scott.

03-18-2005, 11:48 PM
alistair think of all the holidays you will have............. in the sun!!! i left liverpool 30 years ago for oz,i can tell you best move i ever made. would never even think of going back to the old country.it still is the lucky country,but he will have to learn the language,they speak australian here .......cheers john

03-18-2005, 11:52 PM
Alistaire I know im not always the most pragmatic HSM Member of this group. Ive found life to be just a series of dissapointments. I have a Nephew who I love. I had him in the shop tonight and built him a part for his guitar. He really appreciated it. I love to do stuff for him. Now he is moving to Japan. I will miss him so much. My fathers in the Hospital with a stroke. He is bad. I go every day but..... What awaits us at old age. Im contemplating building a Ball Bearing Garret Turbocharged Hyabusa so I can have some fun and if I go out in a ball of fame and glory one day no big deal. I dont want to grow old anymore it seems too sad for me. Bye.

03-19-2005, 12:14 AM
I was in Australia on business 11 or 12 years ago - Those people are so damn friendly they make us Texans look almost reclusive. I didn't want to come home.


03-19-2005, 12:25 AM
Aw, don't worry. They always come back and bring more with them. http://bbs.homeshopmachinist.net//biggrin.gif

I feel for ya. I've been through it THREE times!

Dave Opincarne
03-19-2005, 01:00 AM
Dagnabit Alistair! As others have said you could have chosen your subject heading with a little more care! There are a lot of people who care for youon the board including me and seeing that made my hair stand on end.

You and I have talked at leangth about our devotion to our children so I can understand your feelings and I know your feeling his absence already, but try to focus on the opportunities and open doors ahead of him, what father would not want that for his child. Chief also has a valid point, consider the other places he could be heading off to and consider yourself lucky. Quite frankly if I could have my daughter with me I'd be heading for AU or NZ.


03-19-2005, 04:53 AM
"they speak australian here "

Actually it's more like a disturbed pidgen English with a bit of Ameeeerican thrown in http://bbs.homeshopmachinist.net//biggrin.gif http://bbs.homeshopmachinist.net//smile.gif

cheers Ocker!

Dave, we need some more quality immigrants here, come on over! http://bbs.homeshopmachinist.net//smile.gif

[This message has been edited by speedy (edited 03-19-2005).]

03-19-2005, 07:33 AM
Scary title, Alistair! You have a son who is a physician and has the cojohones to go to the other side of the planet and work. You said that you are encouraging him, are excited for him, and that you will sorely miss him. It sounds like you're one helluva Dad. Russel is one lucky guy, and so are you. Be proud and visit often.

Alistair Hosie
03-19-2005, 08:10 AM
my son is going to a place called Bundesberg
near Brisbane I think? I have three sons in all and I love them all.John my son Russell has his own house so does not stay with me.Alistair

03-19-2005, 09:20 AM
Awh shucks!I guess you'll just have to go and visit him.Who knows you might like the climate better and move too http://bbs.homeshopmachinist.net//biggrin.gif Should I start measuring up shipping crates? http://bbs.homeshopmachinist.net//biggrin.gif I don't think they have a steerage class anymore,but if you talk to the right guy you can be towed along in a wooden row boat for cheap http://bbs.homeshopmachinist.net//biggrin.gif

Besides,look on the bright side,you and your son will be supplying phone company employees with a good living http://bbs.homeshopmachinist.net//smile.gif

[This message has been edited by wierdscience (edited 03-19-2005).]

03-19-2005, 10:05 AM
It's kind of funny- the kids start out and we're wiping their noses and butts and they are TOTALLY dependent. Our goal is to nurture them along until they are ready to stand on their own. But when the little boogers leave, we feel betrayed somehow, when actually all that's happened is we've done our jobs as parents. It could be worse you know, he could still be living at home, unemployed, destroying your refridgerator. You've done good, mate! And a doctor no less. Now in 30 years when he's wiping YOUR nose and butt you'll know you're in good hands... http://bbs.homeshopmachinist.net//biggrin.gif

[This message has been edited by gizmo2 (edited 03-19-2005).]

peter nap
03-19-2005, 10:11 AM
I sympathize with you. My children are both grown, out of school and gone their own way. I can't even start to tell how I miss them. Don't get me wrong. I'm as proud of them as possible delighted they have their own lives....but....I miss them terribly. I expect I always will.

When I finished high school, I almost went down under. That was a long time ago, so long, they were begging people to come over and get homesteads. I couldn't understand why my parents went into suck a frenzy. I do now.....no insult to any Aussies, but I'm glad they talked me out of it. Modern Australia's Government and I don't talk the same language.

Dave Burnett
03-19-2005, 04:54 PM
Look at it this way Alistair,He is doing just what you wanted Him to do. Be a good productive citizen and contribute some good in stead of being a spiked hair drugged out slug.

03-19-2005, 05:10 PM
Well Bundaberg is a great place. Make the best rum in the world. Our rugby team runs on it.
I had a holiday in Queensland in January, its a great state and all the people are really laid back and friendly over there. Better start saving your pennies for a visit.

Alistair Hosie
03-19-2005, 05:36 PM
Will do I have nearly two pounds in sixpenny saving stamps already http://bbs.homeshopmachinist.net//biggrin.gif http://bbs.homeshopmachinist.net//biggrin.gif must say it looks nice

Alistair ps thanks for info

[This message has been edited by Alistair Hosie (edited 03-19-2005).]

Allan Waterfall
03-19-2005, 06:04 PM
<font face="Verdana, Arial" size="2">Originally posted by Alistair Hosie:
Will do I have nearly two pounds in sixpenny saving stamps already http://bbs.homeshopmachinist.net//biggrin.gif http://bbs.homeshopmachinist.net//biggrin.gif

Suprising what you can find in the bottom of a sporan http://bbs.homeshopmachinist.net//biggrin.gif


03-19-2005, 11:38 PM
<font face="Verdana, Arial" size="2">Originally posted by Alistair Hosie:
Will do I have nearly two pounds in sixpenny saving stamps already http://bbs.homeshopmachinist.net//biggrin.gif http://bbs.homeshopmachinist.net//biggrin.gif must say it looks nice

Alistair ps thanks for info


Alistair.......and another bonus, the sheep are the genuine thing http://bbs.homeshopmachinist.net//biggrin.gif http://bbs.homeshopmachinist.net//biggrin.gif

best wishes, Ken

jim davies
03-20-2005, 01:19 AM
Oddly enough, my sister is visiting mum before she departs for Scotland with her latest husband. Seems he's a bit homesick after living in outer Canuckistan for years. I know Mums pretty sad about it because she's in her 90s and it will probably be the last time she sees her...

03-20-2005, 09:33 AM
Look on the bright side he could have moved down to Englandshire.

03-21-2005, 02:48 AM
Hi Alistair,
Now just because Scotland could not beat Wales in the rugby there is no need to go all mournful on us.
Your son will be more than welcome down here. The weathers great and the email works most times.
Come on down. There are cheap reunion flights on most of the airlines and taxis are not too bad for getting from the airport to the beach. Not a swimmer; we have a few pubs and we make some really good wine. It goes well with steak and salad.
There are plenty of machine shops and model engineer clubs you will think it is home away from home. Say we could do with some of that penetrating rain. We even have a Burns club and a statue of the old fellow in Canberra. You will not feel lonely.
Oh heck its time to migrate anyway .
Best of luck,

03-21-2005, 08:51 AM
Your subject had me worried too.

When you go to visit, DO NOT wear a kilt. You know that when you are down under it would be up around your chest all the time. http://bbs.homeshopmachinist.net//eek.gif http://bbs.homeshopmachinist.net//redface.gif

Alistair Hosie
03-21-2005, 09:06 AM
Bob my wife is welsh so I was surprisingly happy that Wales won the grand slam so no jealousy here well done Wales.MY kilt is always above my waste owing to the high wind still the doctor may be able to prescribe something to ease the flatulance to which I am a mrtyr http://bbs.homeshopmachinist.net//biggrin.gifAlistair