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View Full Version : OT; EURO-ENGLISH



lugnut
04-19-2005, 10:37 PM
Sorry for the off topic subject, but because this site does cover both sides, up and down across the ponds, I thought you all might get a kick out of this.

The European Commission has just announced an agreement whereby English will be the official language of the European Union rather than German, which was the other possibility. As part of the negotiations, Her Majesty's Government conceded that English spelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a 5-year phase-in plan that would become known as "Euro-English".

In the first year, "s" will replace the soft "c".

Sertainly, this will make the sivil servants jump with joy. The hard "c" will be dropped in favour of the "k". This should klear up konfusion, and keyboards kan have one less letter.

There will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year when the troublesome "ph" will be replaced with the "f". This will make words like fotograf 20% shorter.

In the 3rd year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expekted to reach the stage where more komplikated changes are possible. Governments will enkourage the removal of double letters which have always ben a deterent to akurate speling. Also, al wil agre that the horibl mes of the silent "e" in the languag is disgrasful and it should go away.

By the 4th yer peopl wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing "th" with "z" and "w" with "v". During ze fifz yer, ze unesesary "o" kan be dropd from vords containing "ou" and after ziz fifz yer, ve vil hav a reil sensibl riten styl.

Zer vil be no mor trubl or difikultis and evrivun vil find it ezi tu understand ech oza. Ze drem of a united urop vil finali kum tru.

If zis mad yu smil, pleas pas it on to oza pepl.

Mel

smurph
04-19-2005, 11:33 PM
Very funy! I kan not vait to pas zis on.

tattoomike68
04-19-2005, 11:39 PM
yea the new pope is cool and Im not catholic .lol ha ha ha..........

Maker
04-19-2005, 11:47 PM
Hey lugnut, that was funny, thanks for the laugh http://bbs.homeshopmachinist.net//biggrin.gif http://bbs.homeshopmachinist.net//biggrin.gif http://bbs.homeshopmachinist.net//biggrin.gif

Alex

Paul Gauthier
04-20-2005, 02:42 PM
ROFLMAO, Red zat 20 minits ago and am stil lafing. My wif is a newspapr editr and must se zis.

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Paul G.

[This message has been edited by Paul Gauthier (edited 04-20-2005).]

Allan Waterfall
04-20-2005, 03:30 PM
That lot in Brussels are so stupid it could well happen.

Allan

Norman Atkinson
04-20-2005, 05:21 PM
Thank you- good folks!
For Allan and his comments about Brussels, it is laughable. It is as likely to happen as getting a reply from my Euro MP, Martin Callanan. I have waited almost a year just to get a reply from him about conditions in Menorca.

The Spanish say " Patience fleas, the night is long"

Kansas_Farmer
04-20-2005, 05:55 PM
Ach Himmel, und zee German deligate voted NEIN to zhis. Vhat ein dumkopf!!

PSD KEN
04-20-2005, 09:41 PM
Very good.
Some years ago a Wordsmith done someting similier.
For example, using ph instead of "F".
Phirst, phame, etc.
A good example of the lunacies of Englishe spelling.
Mabe being comprised of Anglo/Saxen, Frensh,(Chaucer's spelling)Latin,Norse, etal.