View Full Version : OT: The estrogen is so thick I could cut it with a knife!

04-25-2005, 09:45 PM
I'm in the family room. My wife, daughter, and grandaughter are in the family room watching a special on Britney Spears on VH1. Help!!!

Even though the dog is a male he doesn't count. He's neutered.

I'm out-numbered.

Time to head downstairs to the workshop.

Thank goodness the forecast was wrong and it didn't rain. I got to spend some time outside cutting the grass. I usually hate cutting the grass but not tonight.

Maybe I'll start painting the outside window trim tomorrow night.

How do you guys cope when this happens to you?

Gee! I gotta get out more. If only Lowe's was still open.

04-25-2005, 10:00 PM
They certainly are clever.
You do realise they switched the channel and watched golf after you went outside don't you?


04-25-2005, 10:11 PM
Dont spill blood unless they invade the workshop.

04-25-2005, 10:14 PM
I'm assuming this wasn't the scantily clad,sweaty,jiggly Britney? http://bbs.homeshopmachinist.net//biggrin.gif

04-26-2005, 12:34 AM
weird...are you talking about the sweaty, jiggly,etc,etc, Brittany that I like to watch?
Someone told me the other day that she sings too...hmmm, I must have missed that! http://bbs.homeshopmachinist.net//biggrin.gif
Dan...a secret...if you want to clear the "estrogen" out of the livin room...rip off a big smelly one and blame the dog. http://bbs.homeshopmachinist.net//biggrin.gif

04-26-2005, 02:08 AM
Have you ever noticed that men and women both like to watch the young sweaty bouncy etc females? The men are checking out the (imaginary) opportunities, the women are checking out the (imagined) competition.

04-26-2005, 04:52 AM
pgmrdan,you can come over here and visit for a spell......testosterone hangs heavy here at the estate,the boys sports friends all think this their private club.Always a cpl. extra pimple faced eating machines over,I will say that "their" Premier league futbol(on cable)is cool.The twin's whole soccer team showed up for lunch one day......"huh"?Went through.....over 50 pcs. of fried chicken,2 big bags of salad,25 bake potato's(cheese,SC,bacon,ect),10 litres of sport drink and a cake I made......it was a good cake though(2 sheetcakes trimmed and stacked with major amts. of buttercream icing),should've precut it cause some of those kids must've been raised in barns and think that its some sort of competition to see who can take the biggest pce?You're very welcome to a visit but might want to leave females at home.Later,Bw

04-26-2005, 05:18 AM
I handle this by getting out of Dodge. I have found out that a meal of cabbage and corn beef, or some salsa and bean dip and some time in the cellar workshop, garage, my office (window open)or whatever gets me some peace - or at least some room.

Oh man, I do feel for you. Here is the line-up for my home as it sits now: Wife, who is menopausal. Oldest daughter, going through a nasty end of a relationship. Grand daughter - 2 3/4 years old and in that truly terrible stage and also involved with the end of the nasty relationship. 14 year old daughter - body bouncing with hormones. Two of the four are going through PMS right now, the grand daughter just "picks it up", and wife of mine joins in the fun. When I walk into a room, I may as well walk into a room of people juggling chainsaws, or through a newly laid mine field. Add my nosy sister in law, who drops by on a regular bais - especially during these time just to get a piece of the commisseration.....

Heck, I could not to anything right, even if it was exactly what they ask, so I just walk through quietly, try not to disturb any mines, and leave just as quietly. Just never seems to work, I come out beat up no matter how quick a trip.

Did you know that "Charmed" and "Angel" are on one after another on the Tele??? Two really big time woman oriented action shows that bring out the estrogen like you just can't believe. Add this to me coming home into the "Stihl" convention, and ---well, my shop is actually one mile away from the house, an I have no cell phone reception or a regular telephone in (out yes, in - no) to the shop.

I used to have a camp in Vermont. Miss it tonight.

Your Old Dog
04-26-2005, 06:12 AM
I'm okay till she drags out the vacuum. She only vacuums when she's peeved it seems. Either that or she vacuums with a vengence. Even the dog starts walking around the house real slow and careful like he's just been hollered at.

The old Nordic Style might work for some of you fellows. That's the style where you go with out a shower for a month, mat up you hair and when you hit the kitchen door you take only one step inside, plant your feet about two feet apart, put your hands on your hips lean back just a tad and bellow "Woman goddamnit, where's my food?" If done properly you should be able to hear your echo thru the house followed by a meek "hi dear! how was your day?" If per chance you should hear anything at all other than that, leave quickly and find something else to do for a while! http://bbs.homeshopmachinist.net//biggrin.gif

And you single guys that are getting ready to chime in on this, don't. Us married guys are all in this situation cause we broke up with Rosey Palm long ago! http://bbs.homeshopmachinist.net//wink.gif

[This message has been edited by Your Old Dog (edited 04-26-2005).]

04-26-2005, 07:55 AM
My wife is in the early stages of menopause so the Nordic Style is out.

When they get menopausal it's like living with someone who has multiple personalities. And the other personalities can be mean!

I brought a bottle of Dr. Pepper into the bedroom one Friday afternoon to drink while I changed clothes after work. I always take the empty bottle to the recycling bin in the garage and I never spill the stuff so it's never been a problem. Well little did I realize that spouse #2 was in control that day and flew into a rage for at least 30 minutes about bringing a soda into the bedroom. She cancelled our plan for a Saturday trip to Cabela's and brought up the 'D' word (that's right, Divorce).

So the Nordic Style has no chance around my house. I'd end up living in a sod hut in the backyard like the Nordic people lived in. But maybe I'd have a case of Dr. Pepper in my sod hut. http://bbs.homeshopmachinist.net//smile.gif

04-26-2005, 08:00 AM
Priest says to his congregation, "No more questions, anything you want to know is in the Bible".

A hand goes up at the back and asks, "Where in the Bible does it talk about PMS?"

The Priest replies, "Where it says "Mary rode Joseph's ass all the way to Bethlehem."

Paul Gauthier
04-26-2005, 12:50 PM
I also head for the shop or listen to the voices that tell me to do some reloading.

Paul G.

04-26-2005, 01:01 PM
.357 magnum loaded with snake shot. Will blow out the tv screen without too much chance of richochet. Also works on computer screens.

04-26-2005, 01:13 PM
Just hope they don't drag you to see an opera.


04-26-2005, 04:43 PM
Going to the opera would beat the hell out of listening to Britney trying to sing. Why she thinks she's a singer is beyond me.

Give me some singing by Luciano Pavarotti any day.

04-26-2005, 06:50 PM
Opera's OK, especially Gilbert & Sullivan stuff. Some orcestral stuff too. Paverotti & the other tenors can't strut & jiggle like Britanny though & the kids hate opera....
I retreat to the shop & bend metal....

Your Old Dog
04-26-2005, 07:46 PM
pgmrday, I must have a few years on you. We went thru the worst of our similar situation about 8 years ago. But it was me that mentioned the D word. Told her I'd give her everything, just leave me with my 401k and the tools and I'd make a new life for myself. Told her she was broke and needed to get fixed. Quality of life is more important than any other issues for me. The next week she made Dr. appt, got on the meds and life is back to normal. It's quite possibly the most frank discussion I ever had with her. No hollering, just calm to the point discussion that lasted maybe 5 minutes. I'm glad things went the way they did, we've gotten along real well except for that chapter of our lives. Good luck

Can't get into Pavorotti for me but Sarah Brightman's "One Night in Eden" DVD has about 50 plays on it and Andy Botchalini (Andrea Boccelli) has about the same! That's about as close to opera as I care to get. Hell, even my kids like brightman!

charlie coghill
04-26-2005, 08:16 PM
My wife of 41 years and I get along real well. Our 40 year old daughter and her three teenage kids was supposed to be with us for two or three weeks, it is now going on 21/2 years and I am about to go out of my mind.

I am the one that is making it hard on the wife.

I have put a dead line on, move out with or without a job.

Thank God for the shop and my dentist chair. I can get a real good nap in that chair.

[This message has been edited by charlie coghill (edited 04-26-2005).]

04-26-2005, 09:14 PM
NOW, I remember why I never got remarried!
Mine only tried to knife me, a well placed fist changed her mind.
Well, maybe I do miss the combat scenes.

04-26-2005, 10:32 PM
My buddy had his oldlady threaten to leave,she said "if I had my own vehicle I would gone in ten minutes"

He threw his keys to her and said"gee is that all it takes? It's only a 1/2 ton Chevy,I got parts for six more in the barn,If I had known it was that easy your ass would have been gone two years ago"

After that she got real quiet and suddenly her attitude changed http://bbs.homeshopmachinist.net//biggrin.gif

Russ,yep that's the one http://bbs.homeshopmachinist.net//biggrin.gif Saw Gwen Stefani on letterman the othernight,and yes Dave she does have fantasic legs http://bbs.homeshopmachinist.net//biggrin.gif

That's why I like dating,or as I call it"catch and release" http://bbs.homeshopmachinist.net//biggrin.gif
Just wish wildlife and fish had a tagging program for those like they do geese http://bbs.homeshopmachinist.net//biggrin.gif

04-26-2005, 11:31 PM
Now Gwen Stefani is a completely different matter. Britney doesn't hold a candle to Gwen. And I'm sure Gwen has much better legs than Luciano! http://bbs.homeshopmachinist.net//smile.gif

Yep, the wife started packing her bags and told me to move my truck out of the way so she could back her SUV out of the garage and leave.

I gave her a few minutes alone then moved my truck. She calmed down after that.

I guess she was surprised I called her bluff. I wasn't about to beg her to stay. Except for one other episode she's been pretty quiet since then.

Last week she went to visit her parents for 3 days down in St. Louis. She came back home when she said she would.

I'm getting tired of feeling like I'm walking on eggshells though.

Dating = catch and release
Man, that's a good one. http://bbs.homeshopmachinist.net//smile.gif

[This message has been edited by pgmrdan (edited 04-26-2005).]

04-27-2005, 01:21 AM
Come on guys haven't you figured out the mother in law angle yet? Example: a client of mine gave me Tribe tickets right behind home plate two weeks ago, I took the MIL who is a huge baseball fan. My wife has had to endure two weeks of her mother bitching that she doesn't take care of her household like she should. http://bbs.homeshopmachinist.net//biggrin.gif I treat the MIL as good as my own mother, she thinks I'm a total sweetheart and constantly warns her daughter not to screw this one up. The caveat here is that I actually like my MIL so getting along with her is never a chore, same with my father in law whom I'd bend over backwards to help at a moments notice.

I did learn a trick years ago though. I worked as a waiter in a fine restaurant with mostly female co-workers, after awhile they all go PMS at the same time each month, the following week me and the other guys would announce it was our PMS week and be total bastards, after awhile it became a big joke and we all got along better.

-Christian D. Sokolowski

04-27-2005, 07:58 PM
Always remember, no good deed goes unpunished!

04-27-2005, 08:11 PM
Alright! Home alone!

Time to do some testing on which tastes better: Michelob Lager vs. Michelob Amber Bock.

Check back later for the results. http://bbs.homeshopmachinist.net//smile.gif

jim davies
04-27-2005, 11:49 PM
I like to think that if I ever get to live life over, and have a son that I'd be smart enough and compassionate enough to have the little bugger nutted just before puberty. Just think what kind of sweet life a guy could have if you didn't spend most of your time running in aimless circles 'cuz of some female. Of course, they can be damned good friends [and don't steal your tools] but wow! once the old beef injection thing starts sanity goes out the window. I've farkled more than one good friendship that way and never ever figured out what hit me.

Every town should have an old-style cathouse in it and a guy should visit just as often as necessary to get the hump out of his back...every other female relationship should be platonic. My 2 cents.

04-28-2005, 01:39 AM
Yeah, you don't know the half of it. I been married a year now. (a Redheaded yankee girl)

I walk through and hear my wife blasting some kinfolk on the phone about another kinfolk who had a half black baby.
Then it occurs to me, the woman on the other end is the one that was dating the Muslim guy from Ontario.
Up goes the ears, Open goes the mouth. Not only is "SHE" dating a "non-white" guy, she is/was dating someone who is not even a "American". The phone conversation ended right there. At least the baggy pants boy saluted the same flag.

Yeah, I got "poo" on my shoe. SHEW! Me and my big mouth opinion.

(Me being 50% Cherokee 50% German 50% Scottish I understand not fitting in with anyones paticular race. Then I am colored to boot.) Yeah, I know it is more than 100% but looking at me you figure that out for yourself. Yeah, I am colored, blue, red, green, orange....

Any kids born to a mixed couple are in for a rough life from all sides. They don't fit in. I know.

And the day goes on. I dread menopause when it happens here. I just hope I have a couch in the shop to sleep on. I have my own refrigarator and microwave already.

04-28-2005, 07:44 AM
Someone came home earlier than planned so the test results are inconclusive but I'm leaning towards the Lager. Maybe this weekend I'll get a chance for a second round of testing.

Some very interesting comments coming up on this thread.

If only I knew at 14 years of age what I know now.

04-28-2005, 08:49 AM
Charlie makes me want to move my barber chair to the shop. Snooze.

Now if I could just train that pesky cnc to work without supervision.


04-28-2005, 11:14 AM
Dave dont forget the shop ****ter.

04-28-2005, 12:28 PM
Man,I am sooooo pumped!Ole lady is off on a mission for the next several days.....me and the boys don't have a DANG thing to do but get completely stupid!......BW

04-28-2005, 12:28 PM
<font face="Verdana, Arial" size="2">Originally posted by pgmrdan:

Some very interesting comments coming up on this thread.

If only I knew at 14 years of age what I know now.</font>

Hear, hear! I can remember fondly the days when any girl with boobs was old enough. Now all those stunning young &lt;19 year olds are being wasted on ignorant young men.

OTOH, I'm pretty lucky with my wife, although her pet name for me is "asshole". She has given me the run of the basement, where the only finished room is a full bath. The rest is tools and toys. Oh, and the in-laws live 12 time zones from us.


04-28-2005, 12:39 PM
wirecutter,there ain'ty a gauldang thing wrong with bein an A-hole.Wifey and I are workin on 25.....one thing we both totally agree on is "all men are A-holes,and all women are B*tches"....its the whole Venus and Mars thing.Me and my compatriots sit around yammerin to no end about how the B*tch is sooo stupid she does ______,and likewise the girls sit around arguing "my husband is a bigger A-hole than yours!"Best of luck,BW

04-28-2005, 12:48 PM
Yeah, it's kinda funny how the whole a-hole thing got started. I hurt her feelings one time when we were just married (8 years ago), and she muttered it under her breath as the tears were starting. It was so unlike her, and after we made up (oohhhh yeaaaaah), it became a big joke.

Funny thing, though. Whenever someone calls me that, I just can't get upset about it. http://bbs.homeshopmachinist.net//wink.gif

04-28-2005, 02:34 PM
Man,I've got to go to sleep!But heres a for instance(remember,the B*tch is outta town)..the POS work truck is juuuuust about dead in the water,clutchly speaking,I've got maybe one or two startups/shifts before the MFer goes belly up....Calmly ask wifey poo to move Mustang so I can gain access to service bay(everything being PC dontcha know),the B***H is soo stupid she can't figure out which way to back the GT out....duh...."why not just back the POS into the lake dear?"....."H*ll,the kids got more sense than you have when it comes to driving a vehicle"......"Let's see,if I said that the car was some sort of underpriveledged,can't get a life kinda car,you'd make an inteligent decision",but seeing as I need the POS simply outta the effin way,there seems to be a problem?

Yeah,yeah,we mused over it a bit......she knows her driving skills SUCK MAJOR....and I know my cognitive communication skills leave a little bit to be desired...........the Mustang got moved.....the clutch got fixed...and life goes on.Don't sweat the minors,BW.

04-28-2005, 09:05 PM
Welder I worked with said if there was a third sex on earth women would be out of a job http://bbs.homeshopmachinist.net//biggrin.gif

04-28-2005, 10:10 PM
Hullo pgmrdan,
Older and not much wiser we are. Youth is wasted on kids.
The ladies are alright if you let them rule their part of the kingdom. What really gets me going is the sly attempts to infiltrate the workshop and turn it into some sort of long term storage space. you know what I mean.Baskets of drying gladiola bulbs left on the pristine drawing bench.The filing cabinet fron the ladies institute taking up space better suited to the power hacksaw.
The infiltration rate is steady and only constant patrolling and a bit of H& I will keep it in check.
Keep the flag flying.

charlie coghill
04-28-2005, 11:00 PM
David that Barber chair had should be better than the dentist chair, it is wider than the dentist chair. Yes, move the chair into the shop and shut down the cnc. The cnc will wait, a nap won't. http://bbs.homeshopmachinist.net//biggrin.gif