View Full Version : Construction worker Child support trap.. Off topic , angry topic

04-22-2005, 12:27 PM
The Construction workers Child support trap:

I make good money when I work construction. I make very little money while Not working in between jobs.
Child support is calculated on the amount of money you make in a quarter, when the mother requests a review it is usually granted in a few weeks, when the non-custiodial parent requests a review it is granted within six months. I have seen this personally when I asked for a review.

I was sitting in a court room in Tennessee when I heard a judge tell a man to "go get you another one of them good paying construction jobs" Just like he has any say in the economy and the availability of the good paying jobs. A construction worker has no say so over the hours or the pay of a job. The woman judge refused to lower his child support amount.

I see my Fellow Union Electricians get trapped, Good paying jobs are not to be found locally, so they have to travel to the "good jobs" where ever they are located, live in a motel or a aluminum skinned recreational vehicle, away from thier family, away from thier homes, away from thier loved ones and work the "slave" type long hours to pay child support to "stay out of jail".

Am I wrong to not submit to being forced into working and traveling to employment around the country? Living like a gypsie, all the while JODIE (nameless jobless local womanizer) sweet talks my current spouse, pawns my guns, rides my motorcycle and the court takes %50 percent of my income? Sounds like a trap to me.

Being aware of this, I limit myself to NOT traveling to the long hour, good paying jobs, I know once trapped into making a good quarter of income I will be forced to submit to being in jail or travel till my child support term ends. Once it is raised it is not lowered easily. I see people paying %50 of thier checks out on support. What I have saw? if you want to keep it you better keep it with you. AND NEVER mail your money home.

I have been calling the union hall for a job, none local. I see this crank addicted convict walking up the road every day just waiting on me to go off to work. I took a ball bat and ran him off my property recently. He walks up the far side of the road, calling out to my dog, making friends.

You know of course a high child support collection is good for the economy? A woman is not going to save the money for college, or any other real need, she'll buy a new car, spend the support money like there is no tomorrow, cause another check will be in the mail, or the goverment will emprison "his ass".

I'm pissed, Mostly at Timothy McVeigh for not blowing up the "right" goverment building for injustice.

Next time you are at the post office, look at all the construction workers wanted for back child support. They are on lil wanted posters there in the lobby. Usually our local post office has in between 100 and 500.

As a non-custodial parent, you have no input on who is around your children, where she decided to "move" to, if she decides to move every month or not? Your court appointed visitation does not take any concern to her. She can have convicted child molesters around your kid and you can't say a word. I have been warned by the "judge" to not speak any derogatory comments about my ex or her associates no matter how distasteful, This is in person or remote conversations. I will be in contempt if I do so and be subject to be locked up at "your honors disgression"

David Cofer, Of:
Tunnel Hill, North Georgia

04-22-2005, 12:56 PM
move to Alberta IBEW. Our local can't find enough IBEW members to fill all the calls, they are taking in scabs from everywhere.

04-22-2005, 02:25 PM
We can't work up there, the transfer agreement says only Canadians can come down here and work, YOUR goverment won't let me work up there. Unless I could prove my indian heritage that is. (wierd canadian law)

I ain't leaving my small spot of ground here for more than a few hours at a time anyways. The convict walked down the road here a few minutes ago. I put up 6' chainlink, iron gates but you know as well as I do that just slowes someone down. It did make the local police drive real slow looking. With the house addition and the fence, black iron gates it looks like someone has "too much money" here. (I got a 30 year payment plan) That is till it is sold in divorce court to keep JODIE happy. You know he needs his money on the barrel head.

04-22-2005, 03:37 PM
The problem with the courts is that most judges are men and men with daughters. They treat each man that stands before them as if they had committed some crime against their daughter. They don't realiae that we are in the 21st century and women are capable and should support themselves after a divorce. They shouldn't lkegally be able to suck the life and spirit out of their ex. I am in a similar boat, "she who will not be named" receives approximately 50% of my pay and sits on her ass all day.

04-22-2005, 04:07 PM
Seek Asylum in the uk
everybody else is doing it
And why not...... a hard working guy like you.
benifits are a free health service as well...so no need to be afraid of going to the doctor .......as you have been in the past (superglue).
and then reading about that poor Arbo's hands.
it dont sound a nice place to live over there.
all the best...mark

Lynn Standish
04-22-2005, 04:34 PM
Perhaps a little humor will help??

A divorced father gives the following account:

Today is my daughter's 18th birthday. I was so glad to have this be the end of all those child support payments, month after month, year after year.

I called my daughter and asked her to come to my house. When she got there, I gave her the last support check and told her to take it to her mother and tell her mother it would be the last support check she would ever get from me, then to come back and tell me about the expression on her mother's face.

My daughter took the check and left for her mother's place. Meanwhile I was on pins and needles waiting to hear the result.

After while, my daughter came back. When she came in, I asked her right away "Well, what did your mother have to say about that?"

She replied that her mother had instructed her to say "You're not my daddy" and watch the expression on YOUR face!

04-22-2005, 05:04 PM
Just hilarious. How about something helpful instead?

Lynn Standish
04-22-2005, 05:33 PM
Can't offer any help. I don't think there is any. You're going to get screwed. Been there. In my case, I was patient, and the ex eventually admitted she couldn't handle my son and gave him to me. No problems with him -- he just couldn't handle her nonsense either, so it all worked out for me.

I was lucky. The deck is always stacked against the father.

04-22-2005, 06:42 PM
The morel of this story... Kids keep it in your pants, or wear a raincoat.

On the other hand never screw a woman you don't want your future kids to spend all but every other weekend with,and give half your money and belongings to for 18 years or more.

Your Old Dog
04-22-2005, 07:00 PM
Gypsie I feel for you. Wish you could have had the teacher I had in high school Family Living class. He managed to get this into my skull in a way that I believed him. It isn't really more complicated than this. What he told us was....

Want to know what your wife is going to grow up to be? Look at her role model, her mother.

Want to know how she'll expect to be treated in marriage? Look at how her father treats her mother.

Remember that what first attracts you to your mate is very likely to be one of the issues you will one day want to argue about.

Early in the relationship you both agree to the following: We both agree not to yell and holler because it's addictive and gets easier the more of it you do. We also agree to only argue about one topic at a time until we both feel it's been resloved. And we further agree that the bedroom is no place for serious household discussions.

My Dad contributed, "when two rational people argue they are both right. Why else would they argue?" Dad was right, I never entered an agrument I didn't feel I was right about. I have been proven wrong a good many times!

And then there's Roger Millers "Husbands and Wives" song wherein he rightfully proclaims that "pride is the chief cause in the decline in the number of husbands and wives".

Unfortunately for some of you this is all after the fact, maybe someone will read it when they need to and rethink where they're going............


04-22-2005, 07:07 PM
Bottom of this story? I got a signed and witnessed statement from the "ex" that says she did not ask for a review, did not request one and they used her name erronously. (no I didn't have to beat her to get it either)

Calling the Tennessee State office resulted in me wanting to buy a ton of fertilizer and rent a Uhaul. Frustration. I am not a diplomat.

Seems she signed a Power of attorney, telling them they can act with her name in any function they desire, they don't even have to relay my money I send each week to the ex, they can spend it as they well please. This explains why sometimes she gets different amounts than what I send.

I am needing to speak to a attorney about custody I think. Put the shoe on the "other" foot.

David Cofer, Of:
Tunnel Hill, North Georgia

04-22-2005, 07:20 PM
What I want to know is whatever happened to women's lib? She wants to leave,then she can leave and support herself.But hell no,judges and the legal system are biased toward women.

Not that I give a dam,I'm not married anyway.Here like many places we have the so called "deadbeat dad law" even thou half of the offenders are women.

It really makes a lot of sense,put dad in jail,now the taxpayers will really foot the bill.I had a buddy stop paying his because he was and still is disabled,he is in a wheelchair,still has to pay thou.Sheriff came around to lodge the usual threat,he held out his hands and told him putting him in jail would be the best thing that ever happened.He spent 30 days and the judge figured out you can't get blood from a turnip so they let him go.

That's one reason I will most likely never get married,to many gals these days look at it as the lottery,get married,get pregnant,divorce and then they are set for life.A lawyer friend says the "Baby clause"is becoming more popular everyday.

Every other day there is an article in the paper about the "un-wed" mother problem in the state.What a bunch of idiots,no body realizes a girl with no education,no ambition and no work ethic will not find a 40+hour a week job that pays as good as welfare/child support anywhere in the state.

04-22-2005, 09:00 PM

You've got it all wrong. Save a whole pile of money on the lawyers and all if you just find a woman who hates you and give her all your money. http://bbs.homeshopmachinist.net//smile.gif

04-22-2005, 09:32 PM
one of my friends in college grew up in, as he referred to it, "the ghetto".

His response to this whole topic...

"That's why I pay for sex"


04-22-2005, 09:58 PM

are you saying your ex gave power of attorney to someone, and now someone other than your ex is requesting that you pay more child support??? where do you want me to send the contribution to your fertilizer fund?

andy b.

Dave Opincarne
04-22-2005, 10:39 PM
We all pay for sex, some pay now, some later.

For my part I have no problem paying child support. She's my daughter and she deserves my support. I never would have dipped my wick if I didn't feel that way to begin with. I have absolutly no respect for any parent trying to get out of paying their fair share. Emphasis on fair! And it damn well better benifit the child. That's my only real complaint about how child support usualy works. The money is at the disposal of the parent and their is no obligation to spend it in a way that directly benifits the child. There's also no credit for the money spent during visitation.

Something to keep in mind is that maintanence is not the same as child support. Fortunatly maintanance is on it's way out.

Now if community property law was actualy enforced. Still don't see how she got the car my parents bought me when my daughter was born.

04-23-2005, 06:20 AM
I'm retired military so the minute my old lady decides she's fed up with me she can get
50% of my retirement check for the rest of her life. Even if she remarries a millionare
she still collects 2K a month.
It is nothing but a scam
If you are contemplating divorce withdraw any money of have,sell your assets and hide the cash with someone you trust, When you go to court and they ask where the money went tell
them you have been a closet drug user for years and you spent the money on dope.
Also at the first sign of divorce get those cdedit cards turned off or you will be stuck with that bill too.

04-23-2005, 06:31 AM
Been there, done that. I don't have a lot of comments that haven't been said already. You're right, -it's an ugly situation and easy to get angry about.

What worked for me was to show my kids how to deal with a difficult situation with class. Sometimes I had to bite my lip so hard. There comes a time when the kids can decide where they want to live. I don't know what the age is in Ga., but here in Canada it's 12.

It sounds like the sooner you can get custody of your daughter, the better off you will both be.

Good luck.

04-23-2005, 07:57 AM

When a woman applies for state aid she signs a power of attorney concerning the collection of child support.
It gets better than that, She entered a "battered woman" scolarship at a local college. (even thou she had never been beat, I did keep her "down" I guess by supporting her for 5 years while she didn't work) (damn white man keeping a minority down?) She Collected "cash" from me in child support checks, Collected state welfare aid from the state of Tennessee. Her income level was up there about twice what mine was. OF course when the state of Tennessee dragged my ass into court I had all my cancelled checks I had paid her showing her "lying" on her statements to get free money from the state.
I had to prove the money was used for "child support and not spousal support" Funny a woman don't have to prove what she does with child support money, they usually buy a shiny car. The state of Tennessee decided someone was going to "pay" them back and I was the responsible party. Several court sessions and I finally made them understand it wasn't going to be me. She had to repay the money. They kept my child support payments then going to the state to refund thier money. SINCE THEY KNOWED THEY WERE NOT GOING TO GET A PENNY FROM HER. It is impossible to get money back from a mother once paid out.

Fertilizer fund, yeah. I hated women in general for quite a few years. When the coin turns on this one I built a house for, well I guess I'll die old and bitter.

My First child was birthed by a Sioux indian woman, they go off the reservation, find a construction worker, get %33 of thier check, find another get another %33, find another and get another %33, then move back to the free reservation living and with all the "extra" income live like kings and queens in drunken happiness. Free money, just spread your legs sweetie.

Some unhappy people in the 70s decided to start shooting up the reservation homesteads to make the indians move off. I guess they were in my type of case.
That son just turned 18, has been working for 4 years, got expelled for stabbing a guy (adult) and was prohibited from returning to school.
He has pretty much screwed his life up. Come to find out, My child support for him should have stopped when he procured full time employment. (40+hrs a week) But then I never protested the matter.

04-23-2005, 08:15 AM
There but for the grace of God, and 25 yrs experience since I got divorced, go I. I know exactly what you guys are all talking about. Seen it so many times with all my friends that it's unreal. Two things I've learned, never never never go into a bar with the intention of doing anything but having a pleasant beer with the boys, and even then bring extra snake repellant. It's not a place to meet women unless you like the idea of waking up in one of these scenarios. Two, never marry one who doesn't make more money and have a better education than you do.

04-23-2005, 08:32 AM
I agree with very little that government does,it's very easy to be critical.However,governments role in making sure dependent children are cared for in divorce and other bad situations is undeniable.Your responsibility to support the children YOU brought into this world is also undeniable.

The courts don't give a rat's ass about your problems, the world at large doesn't either. Child support after divorce usually does mean a reduced standard of living (poverty), but it's the right thing to do.

The only question is if your gonna' be man enough to stand up to your responsibilities. I did and my kids love me for it.

Look, the majority of marriges end in divorce, most with child support issues. Your situation is not unique ,most men complain but do the right thing. It's up to you if you want to be a deadbeat dad or not.....

04-23-2005, 08:48 AM
The bottom line? When the goverment rolls you up in redtape it takes a attorney to unroll.

Money is the root of all solutions.

Almost as cheap at this juncture in life to take my child from my ex. Probably the proper thing to do since my house is now large enough to raise a 9 year old girl in.

There are falsified statements upon the summons thou. I think I will certify mail a copy to the district attorney. Little thou he cares thou.

04-23-2005, 10:30 AM
If your looking for fairness from the courts or justice system, I've got news for you, you won't find it. Things have changed in our government, big time. The current view is that men, particularly white men, are responsible for all the ills of our society. Today the courts don't make decisions based on constitutional law or fairness so much as they make decisions based on political correctness. The same goes for new laws legislated by congress or at the state level. Some special interest group gets hold of a legislator, donates money and gets a law passed to promote whatever their agenda might be. Men get the short end these days any time charges of Domestic Violence, Child Support, Child Abuse or any one of several other charges are levied. It isn't the facts of the case but the seriousness of the charge that count when you go to court. What can you do about it? Not much. Getting the best lawyer you can (I haven't much use for any of them) might help, but you may just end up paying even more, some for the lawyer, some to the courts and some to the ex. Either way you still lose.

04-23-2005, 10:39 AM
Well ya got the mules pulling the wagons and the donkeys riding.

Goverment steps in, pays a few payments and gets a Power of attorney signature collecting all future payments "for" the victim. Think of this, all interest bearing on the short term collection and holding of funds even for 48 hours builds to a national level of millions of dollars held in trust-interest bearing accounts. They didn't ask for it or force the issue, she gave it willingly.

Called floating a loan with interest. Somebody has a BMW or Mercedes. Somebody in between the lines of caupibility.

I forget seeing the State of Tennessee in bed with me the night I fathered the child. I guess they were there giving a reach-around?

(I was at a bike rally IN Kentucky)

Not my childs fault, it is her Mother's. Once the goverment gets in your pocket look out.

04-23-2005, 05:01 PM
Wow what a touchy subject, the alimony thing. Theres a solution. Firstly as far as canadians working in the UsA why bother. We can come down work and pay tax on the money we make down there to the american government and ALSO to our crooked as **** canadian government once were back home. Taxed twice on the dough. No kidding this is a true stupid tax thing. Secondly Dave if you were to say change your name covertly move away and kinda start over incogneto she wouldnt gwet her meat hooks into you for alimony if she or them cant find yeah. You can always send the kid some money or have a bro drop her some cash here and there, It would work if you did it right. Wish you the best been there and now im free. Madman

04-24-2005, 01:17 AM
Yep, the women win in these situations. They get everything they want, the children, the NEW man, AND the money. The man, well he just grabs the ankles. It sucks.

04-24-2005, 07:50 PM
I met my wife almost 9 years ago, 6 1/2 years ago we had a kid together, she tricked me telling me she was on the pill and I bought it. We stayed together for awhile until she left for another guy. I hired a great lawyer and a PI and was ready to sue for custody when she decided she wanted to be with me, told me how she never should have left etc. Anyway 3 years ago we got married, the hitch was I had my great lawyer draw up a fantastic pre-nuptial in which I get custody and she gets no alimony or child support. I told her this was the only way I'd marry her because even though I loved her I needed some assurance that she'd stick around. She thought about leaving about two years ago and realized she'd be broke so she stayed. Anyway last year at my insistence I got her to she a shrink, turns out she has borderline personality disorder which is one step away from schizophrenia and the reason she had left in the past. Now with the help of a great doctor she is starting to understand life better and has realized how and why she screwed up in the past. I have to say life is good between us now and I know the "real" her does love me. I still admit I sleep better at night knowing that I have that pre-nup though. Moral of the story, never trust anyone where large sums of money are concerned. No one here would enter a business agreement without proper legal protection yet many of us have children or get married without even thinking about being legally protected. If a woman won't marry without a pre-nup she doesn't love you enough to be worth marrying.

My $0.02

-Christian D. Sokolowski

04-24-2005, 08:12 PM
Been there, done that! This whole thing is called "without Vaseline". If I had been smarter I would have moved to Europe, changed my name and mailed money order for a fair amount of my income for child support. Plus I would never divulge where I was at.


04-24-2005, 09:15 PM
Interesting thread...very interesting.

It is apparent that with the high divorce rate (over 50% national, much higher in other areas and increasing) and the fact that the courts have shown that they cannot or will not handle divorce actions/child support fairly, one must take matters into your hands. The options seem to be a pre-nup or living together. Both options are not perfect. Pre-nups can be broken and codepenency can bring with it its own legal problems.

The sad part of it all is if children are involved, they usually end up paying the price for their parents' inability to make their relationship work.


04-25-2005, 07:44 PM
O.K. simple rules for the future generations, can't get married until your 25, both have training or education in a field or profession by 30, Have house half or more paid for, Can't have kids until your 35. You can not divorce until the kids say you can, then they get the money from both parents.

Never happen but a good thought.


[This message has been edited by jfsmith (edited 04-25-2005).]

07-26-2005, 12:09 PM
And the madness continues.

To work for the goverment you don't have to be good, don't have to fast, you just have to be a minority and show up for work.

I'm so mad I can't even talk about it, done dropped two tranqulizers on the floor.

07-26-2005, 02:28 PM
"Moral of the story, never trust anyone where large sums of money are concerned. No one here would enter a business agreement without proper legal protection yet many of us have children or get married without even thinking about being legally protected. If a woman won't marry without a pre-nup she doesn't love you enough to be worth marrying."

Large sums of money Is relative.I have been where $100.00 was alot,and I hope never to be there again.
Hell, I have renters who both work and still have a hard time paying rent sometimes,But they are good people and always seem to get cought up.

07-26-2005, 02:48 PM
<font face="Verdana, Arial" size="2">Originally posted by ibewgypsie:
And the madness continues.

To work for the goverment you don't have to be good, don't have to fast, you just have to be a minority and show up for work.

I'm so mad I can't even talk about it, done dropped two tranqulizers on the floor.</font>

And they have no interest in the welfare of the child. They only want the money. I wonder how many pairs of shoes the kid has and how many she has.
Dave. The only thing I can tell you is, this too shall pass.
Your lawyer might want to explaine to the judge just how the union assigns jobs. I bet he/she doesn't know.

07-26-2005, 05:37 PM
I'd like to know what the original poster thinks would be a fair deal in these instances.I've not been down this road before so I can't offer any rants.I've been happily married for 28 years and have two grown and gone boys.I wouldn't change a second of that time.At the very least though,I thinks it's the screwing you get for the screwing you got.Of course the "f" word could replace screwing.Remember you don't see to many young wisemen.

07-26-2005, 06:56 PM
Judges could care less how "jobs are assigned". They base CP on your past earnings, training and earnings potiential. The key words are earnings potiential. If you want to work, you'll work. It's no different than when the family was together. You go where the work is to support your family.

I've been through the process with two wives. One child from the first and two from second. And payments may not stop when children reach 18 years. It could go until they finish school--21 years+.

Yea, I cussed and whined every time I had to write a check. It torqued me that I paid the tax on the money and the wives didn't have to. It burned me that I only got every other weekend and holiday.

But you know what? I still bought my girls toys, bicycles, clothes, food, makeup, vacations and later cars on what money I had left. You know why? Because I love THEM!

07-26-2005, 07:41 PM
The Ex is 13,000 behind on her first child. Her first husband has custody. She will not show up for court, I will show up with a attorney.

The reason I am flamed up, redneck is they have been accruing back "catch up payments" even thou I am caught up.
The woman on the phone told me I was stupid and just to pay it, I went up there, they told me they only see people between 8 and 10, guess where I'll be a 8:01.
She also said the amounts are dictated by a computer program and I could not change what they say I owe. A private contractor is the administrator for Tennessee. "THEY" told me on the phone I could not send in checks or money orders, I had to have it deducted from my bank account or from my work cheque. Guess who is still sending in checks..

Personally? I think someone is driving a BMW from the money they are stealing. Tennessee has had a plague of crooks in small goverment, from the school cafeterias to the local mayors office.

If I am behind, I will eat my hat. They bill a month ahead.

07-26-2005, 09:35 PM
I do feel for ya David. There were times I wish I could have afforded ammunition for my pistol but ate instead. A dead X would have lead right back to me anyway.

The first ran around on me. The second beat the crap out of me. Somehow, the X's and lawyers always come out on top. I had the best lawyers (2) in town for the second and came out with a good share of the assets. It still cost me big-time in child support. ($800/Month and that was after I paid the tax)

If there's one thing I've learned is that you can't rely on minimum wage clerks to look out for your best interests. They have the power of Zero. Keep going up the chain and go in with all the proof you can. I wish you luck AND success.

Your redneck budy from Texas.

Mike Burdick
07-26-2005, 10:05 PM
Strange isn't it...

If one is married and struggling thru life your children struggle right along with you. But...when one gets a divorce the children suddenly become the "states" concern and they think that the children are ENTITLED to have all the luxuries of life and force the parents (mainly the father) to provide it no matter what standard of living they have.


[This message has been edited by Mike Burdick (edited 07-27-2005).]

07-26-2005, 10:15 PM
I got one for you. I got hurt and had to retire. the ex couldn't deal with it. I have two wonderful kids that I gladly support with money and clothes and most anything they want. My ex gets their SS money. She can spend it on anything deemed necessary to maintain my kids. this means clothes, house, car, or her Monday night bowling league which I keep the kids when she does this. She blew over $17,000 of their money remodeling the house she got in the divorce. She then decided to quit paying for the house and filed bankruptcy, now here comes the good part. She let the house go and moved out to the county and moved into a dang rented doublewide trailer. The folks at Social Security won't talk to me because they say it is her money to spend. I told them she blew $17,000 on a house she just let go and they say they can't talk to me about the money because it isn't my money. i quickly informed her that it was my money that is payed to her to maintain my kids. The lady hung up on me. The other part of this conversation is that she gets 20% of my retirement check each month as well. she also gets another $235/month for insurance that she has to pay for, but I could put them on my new wifes insurance for free. She won't switch insurance and the judge told me even though she is an idiot to pay for it when I could do it for free, he has no power to make her stop billing me for the insurance. So let's total it all up:

The gov't gives her $650/month
I give her $520/month

She can't pay her bills and filed bankruptcy and let the house go and I had just paid off all of her bills except her truck when we split which was only 3 years prior to her filing for bankruptcy. She has no credit so I know she doesn't have any bills other than the house and her truck. She uses her child support money to pay for these plus she makes over $33,000 a year. Then she blows over $200/month bowling twice a week. My kids wear old, worn out clothes all the time even though my Mom, my mother-in-law and myself by them new clothes all the time. The kids say she never washes clothes is the reason they wear the clothes. All this is going on and the judge says there isn't a damn thing I can do about it because I can't prove she is a bad mother. SSSSSSheeeeeeeesh, I ask him if all this didn't prove she was, what did I have to do. I still pay out the nose and the kids still look like white trash all the time when I pick them up from school or from there house and their mother is doing something with all the damn money she gets from me and the Gov't, but there isn't a thing I can do about it because I have a judge that thinks I am crazy. Go figure.

07-26-2005, 10:31 PM
The book "The Predatory Female" by Lawrence Shannon should be required reading by every male when he turns eighteen.

"Know thy enemy"

07-26-2005, 11:59 PM
Angie, my daughters mother, she is renting a five bedroom house Split level, terrible to heat and cool. Big screen television, fancy. I have not even asked what her utility bills are. She refuses to live any lower than RICH. She will crash soon I predict and have to hunt another "SUCKER" to pay the bills.
She spent a average of $250 a week on groceries all the time we were together, She got fat as a hog, would eat right out of the ice cream carton.

In the early 90s she did have hooters that stuck straight out thou. Now, she has skinnied up again. Hooters are gone thou. 3 kids will do that.

I no longer have large sums of cash in my pockets. I no longer have two businesses a race car, custom harley, and expensive toys. I no longer tattoo till early morning hours either.

If I had it to do over from 18 on? I'd go get castrated, just leave enough to two finger into the urinal. Save lots of trouble, fighting and payments.

I do love my lil girl. I hope she comes to live with us. Since my ex is so far behind on child support on her first, she may get to while her mom wears a orange jump suit and moves into smaller digs.

Quick get the tranqulizer gun, I am going to snap...

07-27-2005, 12:20 AM
Shooting at the range is a nice stress relief.
Trying to program this Atmel AVR butterfly I got from Digikey is testing my patience. Apparently they shipped this one with the wrong fuse bits so I can't overwrite flashrom with the bootloader that allows easy downloading in the first place so now I have to make an ISP programmer to reset the fuses which im not quite sure as to which fuses I need to set so I dont wipe out the bootloader. I guess micro controllers were never meant to be simple, nor is life always fair, what ever fair is.

07-27-2005, 03:39 AM
My brother is going through similar times with his ex, so I can feel your pain. As for the suggestion about changing your name and relocating....Thanks to all of those who have done that, or just moved and stopped paying, it is now affecting all of us here in Pa. Effective this year, in order to purchase a Fishing or Hunting license, you MUST provide your Social Security #. No Number, No License, as under State Law this is a privilage and thus is denighed to those on both the National and State Dead-beat/Arreares list. If you are on the list your License will be personally revoked by the local Sheriff. Figure on seeing the Judge after this. This also affects those who for religious reasons do not have a SS# like the Amish. There are no exceptions. Add this to the new National Drivers License Requirerments and to those of us with a more paronoid bent see Big Brother around the corner as opposed to in the next country over.

07-27-2005, 04:53 AM
Don`t let the bitterness turn to a hate Dave; you know that it turns and eats you up.
I see the same cr&p here with men being bled financially and denied access to their children by a system that denies truth but will accept unsubstantiated evidence. There are also a`holes who breed and walk; leaving others to pick up the burden ( our taxes )
I believe that the responsibility for the children lies with the mothers, fathers and extended family. Anyone else who wishes to assist, well, that is there decision and not something that should be extracted by the state. I`ll get off the soapbox now.

Thinking of you Dave, stay well mate.Ride it out as best you can and remember that you have good friends here.

cheers, Ken

07-27-2005, 05:12 AM
It wouldn't be so bad if the courts would at least demand reciepts showing that the money is going to the welfare of the children and not some loser boy friend.

07-27-2005, 07:10 AM
Dave, is this familiar?


07-27-2005, 09:09 AM
I was there at 8:01, they saw me at 8:12. The young girl that waited on me? scared and trembling. After she could not answer my questions she went and got her boss. Who was also really nervous. I started sweating as they could not answer my questions. Since I only use deodrant soap I started smelling. Both girls got more than they wanted this morning.

I showed her the billing cupons they give me to pay my child support, $312 this month and $312 back support it said. I wrote two checks for $312 and sent them off. This month, $312 and $104 back support. On the cupon they are collecting/billing me with $130 back support when plainly on the other side it says $104 on the same page.
Thier explanation? Tennessee hired a contractor to process and collect the money and they don't know what they are doing up there. I reminded them they are responsible for contractors they hire. She gave some legal doublespeak about that.

On the phone to Nashville? Basically she said to get a job, have it deducted every week so they don't have to open my envelope full of contagious diseases. The Ripper that opens envelopes throwed some white powder into the air. AND now they can't get anyone to open them.

At Chattanooga:
I told her I'd see her next month. I have been sick not thinking right, paying bills by the statement line. By my calculations I should be about $1500 overpaid.

Court tomorrow, I got a statement from her saying I am paid up to 7-12-05 by thier records. I pay by the month.

I feel I am in a barrel or a never ending ferris wheel. I need more tranqulizers and stronger ones for court.

Cofer's law? if it can happen, and it has bad results it will happen to me. I still think someone is stealing money.

David Cofer, Of:
Tunnel Hill, North Georgia

07-27-2005, 10:18 AM
Hey David -yeah, there are days that just seem to be murphy magnets.

Keep your chin up. If you can keep your cool when all around you are losing theirs, you're ahead.

Only suggestion I have when dealing with the child support bureaucracy, is to ask for everyone's name and job title, and the name and job title of their supervisor, and write them down on paper in front of them with the date and time. Tell them it is reference material for your lawyer. Be pleasant with lots of "please and thank you"

I have found that this seems to create quite an incentive to do their job to the best of their ability and not look incompetent, without you having to make any threats.

just my .02


07-27-2005, 12:03 PM
<font face="Verdana, Arial" size="2">Originally posted by ricksplace:

Only suggestion I have when dealing with the child support bureaucracy, is to ask for everyone's name and job title, and the name and job title of their supervisor, and write them down on paper in front of them with the date and time. Tell them it is reference material for your lawyer. Be pleasant with lots of "please and thank you"

I have found that this seems to create quite an incentive to do their job to the best of their ability and not look incompetent, without you having to make any threats.

just my .02


i've also found this to be quite effective. just last week i was on the phone complaining about some insurance crap the mortgage company was pulling on me. i was getting a bit frustrated, and the woman i was speaking to was starting to return the attitude. i stopped right then and there and asked for her name and supervisor's name. she got a lot friendlier after that.

and David, i hope things finally work out for you with this problem.

andy b.

07-27-2005, 03:08 PM
This won't help your situation but misery loves company.
When we got married, my ex came into it with $500 of her own money. She did nothing for me for 7 years except bitch about the hours I put in at a start up company. Eventually I moved out and she got a lawyer. I ended up paying the full mortgage on our house and paying for rent on an apartment for a year while things got settled. We sold the house and by the time I had bought her out with alimony she got about 90% of the $125,000 we had in equity, bank accounts, 401K's etc. She also took half the stock options I had earned working 70 hours a week in the startup she so hated.
Well, when the startup went public I was worth $6.4M but there was a six month lockup period for employees and families. Because we were now officially divorced, she cashed in "her" $3.2M. I was locked out and when I eventaully sold my stock several years later (I always hoped it would go back up) I didn't get much for it.
To cap it all she married her attorneys nephew went off and had a kid and enjoyed my money while I had to basically start from scratch.
The state of California is not a place to get divorced..........

Not bad for a girl with $500 to her name eh?

07-27-2005, 03:18 PM
No wife, no alimony, no kids, no mortgage, no car payment, no significant other to speak of, have a pretty good retirement nestegg, have lots of toys, have an airplane I can fly anytime I want. Am I doing something wrong?

Sorry, just had to gloat.


07-27-2005, 03:24 PM

My best friend, 61 years old, is a veterinarian, married a former stripper (maybe 35 years old), She's gone through more than $200k, put him DEEP in debt, forged prescriptions in his name (she got caught - probation), got pregnant by some stick she was swapping drugs with, dropped a kid on him, and wants more. Geez, he bought her a "set" because she was "depressed". Now he's depressed. I wonder what she will do for him.

Oh yeah, they are getting divorced.

And people wonder why I remain single.


07-27-2005, 03:41 PM
I am happily married 25 yrs with 2 daughters, I have long contended that the fathers of a divorced with children are not given a fair shake. Here is my opinion of what I do to change things if I were president.

1. In a divorce case with children, a checking/Debit card account is created for the children. Purchases on behalf of the child/children can only be made through this account and subject to audit by the non-custodial parent every quarter. If the money is not totally spent of legitimate expenses i.e. food, shelter, clothes, and collage saving account the support payment will be adjusted to a lower amount.

2.The custodial parent has the right to require screening by police anyone that come in contact with the child for the sole purpose of protection of the child. After all, I had to go through a police screening just to become a chaperon on the field trip at my daughters’ school. A divorced parent should have that option too.

3, Judges should always opt to have joint custody 50/50 unless the welfare of the child is at stake. (This has to be proven in court.) Just because a person is a mother or father dues not qualify them to have sole custody.

4. Any father can request a DNA test. In the event the parental father is not the biological father any child support may be negotiated with the mother, but not mandatory until after a waver is signed by the father. The parental father has the right to sue the biological father for a lifetime of child support if they are ever identified.

07-27-2005, 07:53 PM
Turns out, the statement has brackets around the owed amount, a acountant friend just told me that means a positive balance paying more will increase it. It's on the wrong side of Minus zero.

AND, today they told me I was stupid and to write the check. We are faxing the papers showing the positive balance to the woman who wrote me a erronous statement and signed it. (said I was stupid and to write the check) I wish I could sue her. I can turn it over to the bbb since it is a contractor.

If you know, never take anyones word, find out yourself.
Never been defeated, never will, it's a mental thing.


07-27-2005, 08:46 PM
I'm not sure if it's legal but my friend saw that his marriage was headed south so
overtime he covertly sold or gave away he
things to trusted friends who could be counted on to return them in the future.
He then started pulling money out of the bank and hiding the cash and then got his
boss to "fire" him.
When the judge asked where all the money
went he said, " I love my wife very much
and I talked to her but she just wouldn't
stop screwing around me so I crawled into a whiskey bottle, I blew my money on whiskey and got fired for it."
He walked away pretty cheap, got his job
and his stuff back after waiting a couple of months and put the money his mother's account.
His wife knows she was scammed but they can't prove anything.

07-27-2005, 09:09 PM
Two words-Deepsea fishing,or as we say here"what to do with old engine blocks and fishnets http://bbs.homeshopmachinist.net//biggrin.gif

07-27-2005, 09:37 PM
Are we talking cement overshoes??? http://bbs.homeshopmachinist.net//biggrin.gif

MY attorney said killing her may cost me 7 years of my life, but I wouldn't be paying the rest of my life. As that I paid for my X to finish her masters, I got out of making the choice of paying her or leaving the country.


07-28-2005, 12:14 AM
Actually, having a foundy around... hmm.. neighbor is barbequing again.. smells good.. And the roses bloom so pretty with the ash.

Mike Burdick
07-28-2005, 02:04 AM
This is starting to remind me of an old Alfred Hitchcock television episode….

An elderly wife gets tired of her worthless husband so she takes him out with a frozen leg of lamb. When the police arrive they start searching for the weapon with no luck. All during this time the wife is seen busily cooking dinner. After about five hours the elderly wife asks the frustrated police detectives if they want to stay for dinner – she’s having lamb. The last scene shows the lead detective just prior to eating the lamb saying, “If we can find the murder weapon I know we can solve this case. Somehow I feel it’s right under our noses.” The elderly wife offers him more.


[This message has been edited by Mike Burdick (edited 07-28-2005).]

07-28-2005, 09:45 AM
Take her to Aruba.

07-28-2005, 05:35 PM
Ending verdict?

I was overpaid by over two weeks. They were billing me for three times that.

My ex, cancelled out the state's involvement of my child support case, She also suggested a 50/50 custody. My lawyer? he sat there poking me in the ribs trying to keep me quiet. He kept saying I didn't need a contempt charge. I'm the one that spoke up and made the judge understand I was overpaid on childsupport.

A young man came out throwed his sheaf of papers at his new girlfriend and slammed the door, stomped out really angry. I told the policeman he had better watch him (remember Atlanta?) He said they had enough police in the building to handle anything. I looked him in the eyes and said "Not if I am that mad you don't"

SO, My new order not state mandated? I pay 23% of all sales profits, shop work, future business'es work, electrical, robotics, and tattooing work to her.. * a lot more than before, but it flutuates each month with the deduction on a balance line. I am free to make as much money as I like without big brother looking over my shoulder. She remembers me making 10,000 in a week, the dollar signs were flashing.

THE state of Tennessee can kiss my ass.


Topic closed, I wont be back here.. rant over..

David Cofer, Of:
Tunnel Hill, North Georgia

07-28-2005, 05:48 PM
Glad you spoke up and got your point across to the judge.

Some people in your situation would get real creative at getting paid under the table. I would never think of doing such a thing, myself, but they tell me these custody disputes are basically a war and rules only apply when you get caught.

jim davies
07-28-2005, 08:55 PM
"..I got her to she a shrink, turns out she has borderline personality disorder which is one step away from schizophrenia and the reason she had left in the past..."

Now that is scary...lived with one for 5 years, thats why I'm reading this depressing topic.

BPD is incurable, however...

Lots of info on the 'net about it. Mainly a womens thing.

07-28-2005, 09:56 PM
<font face="Verdana, Arial" size="2">Originally posted by ibewgypsie:
I ain't leaving my small spot of ground here for more than a few hours at a time anyways. The convict walked down the road here a few minutes ago. </font>

I've seen you post about this guy a few times now. I think you let a guy walking down the street have way too much control over your life. You are litterly a prisoner in your own home for the most part. This is no way to live, and adds huge stress to your already stressful situation.

You need to deal with this issue. Either go out there and kick the guys ass so he will never think about coming within 10 miles of your house again... or set it up, bait him into breaking and entering/theft, have it recorded on tape, call the cops, press the charges and let the system take care of him. Repeat as necessary until he no longer wants to hassel with you.

I suppose there is an outside chance you may get leo to help with a loitering charge or something, but if he is just walking down the sidewalk, there is not much they can do.

I'm sure there are other ideas (better than kicking his arse) that you could use. You are smart enough to figure out how to take care of this problem.

I really enjoy reading your posts but hate to think about you living in fear of constant break-ins and theft from some guy walking down the street. It just is not worth it to live like that... there must be something you can do (hopefully legally) besides cower behind your fence 24/7.

I realize this is not necessarily germane to the original post main topic, but I had to get that off my chest after reading about this situation in Davids posts several times...


07-28-2005, 10:35 PM
<font face="Verdana, Arial" size="2">Originally posted by ibewgypsie:
Ending verdict?
THE state of Tennessee can kiss my ass.

French Kiss?? http://bbs.homeshopmachinist.net//biggrin.gif http://bbs.homeshopmachinist.net//biggrin.gif

Greed is a lovely trap......A better than expected result Dave?


07-28-2005, 10:40 PM
Thanks for solidifying the idea of getting Pre-nup agreements.

07-29-2005, 08:50 AM

I chased him with a ball bat till I ran out of breath. He has the ideal no matter what dissapears he will be the culprit in my mind.

I have homeowners insurance, but them are as big of crooks as the crooks are. You must have pictures, reciepts, signed witness statements. I need all that to be done. People looking at my plywood shack w/vinyl siding would never believe what I have in my shop.