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alcova
08-12-2005, 09:59 PM
I'm Ready To Go!

I'm over 60 now and the Armed Forces say I'm too old to track down
terrorists. You can't be older than 35 to join the military.

They've got the whole thing backwards. Instead of sending 18-year-olds off
to fight, they ought to take us old guys. You shouldn't be able to join
until you're at least 35.

For starters:

Researchers say 18-year-olds think about sex every 10 seconds.

Old guys only think about sex a couple of times a day, leaving us more than
28,000 additional seconds per day to concentrate on the enemy.

Young guys haven't lived long enough to be cranky, and a cranky soldier is
a dangerous soldier. If we can't kill the enemy we'll complain them into
submission. "My back hurts!" "I'm hungry!" "Where's the remote control?"

An 18-year-old hasn't had a legal beer yet and you shouldn't go to war
until you're at least old enough to legally drink. An average old guy, on
the other hand, has consumed 126,000 gallons of beer by the time he's 35
and a jaunt through the desert heat with a backpack and M-60 would do
wonders for the old beer belly.

An 18-year-old doesn't like to get up before 10 a.m.

Old guys get up early every morning to pee.

If old guys are captured we couldn't spill the beans because we'd probably
forget where we put them. In fact, name, rank, and serial number would be a
real brainteaser.

Boot camp would actually be easier for old guys. We're used to getting
screamed and yelled at and we actually like soft food. We've alsodeveloped
a deep appreciation for guns and rifles.

We like them almost better than naps.

They could lighten up on the obstacle course however. I've been in combat
and I didn't see a single 20-foot wall with rope hanging over the side, nor
did I ever do any pushups after completing basic training. I can hear the
Drill Sergeant now, "Get down and give me...er...one."

And the running part is kind of a waste of energy. I've never seen anyone
outrun a bullet.

An 18-year-old has the whole world ahead of him. He's still learning to
shave, to actually carry on a conversation, and to wear pants without the
top of his butt crack showing and his boxer shorts sticking out. He's still
hasn't figured out that a pierced tongue catches food particles, and that a
400-watt speaker in the back seat of a Honda Accord can rupture an eardrum.

All great reasons to keep our sons at home to learn a little more about
life before sending them off to possible death.

Let us old guys track down those dirty rotten cowards who attacked our
hearts on September 11. The last thing the enemy would want to see right
now is a couple of million old farts with attitudes.

Rick Hand
08-12-2005, 10:11 PM
There is a lot of merit in what you say! However, I am 51 and still in the military and can tell you that my body REALLY doesn't like the desert heat, long hours, NO NAPS, etc, etc.
Then there are the superiors who insist on reinventing the wheel! Then there are the younger troops who talk about sex and I am trying to remember exactly what that is all about. And on top of that, there is ah....heck, I forgot what I was going to say.

I'm really not kidding about MOST of the above.

Rick

Your Old Dog
08-12-2005, 11:20 PM
I'd give my eye-teeth if I could have another run at it! I've dreamed about it.

Michael Az
08-13-2005, 01:23 AM
I'm getting close to 60 and think your right. The biggest problem with the young men is they think about sex every 30 seconds. We old fellows are about every 60 seconds.
Michael

matador
08-13-2005, 01:40 AM
All this talk of sex.I'd rather have a good feed http://bbs.homeshopmachinist.net//biggrin.gif http://bbs.homeshopmachinist.net//biggrin.gif

------------------
Hans

mochinist
08-13-2005, 01:41 AM
<font face="Verdana, Arial" size="2">Originally posted by Michael Az:
I'm getting close to 60 and think your right. The biggest problem with the young men is they think about sex every 30 seconds. We old fellows are about every 60 seconds.
Michael</font>

I wish I only thought about it every 30 seconds.

Evan
08-13-2005, 03:34 AM
If they hired us old ****ers the war we be over right smart. I still remember how to kill someone. Get out there, you look slightly dangerous, BLAM, next. When do I go home?

Tinker2
08-13-2005, 11:56 AM
Your Old Dog
I would go with you.

mochinist
08-13-2005, 12:57 PM
<font face="Verdana, Arial" size="2">Originally posted by Evan:
If they hired us old ****ers the war we be over right smart. I still remember how to kill someone. Get out there, you look slightly dangerous, BLAM, next. When do I go home? </font>

Say's the guy that couldn't even figure out the simple typing test. lol

tracker
08-13-2005, 08:15 PM
war sucks,god bless our troops.send the boys and girls home. a few well placed tactical nukes and this mess would be over .

Spin Doctor
08-13-2005, 10:51 PM
<font face="Verdana, Arial" size="2">Originally posted by tracker:
war sucks,god bless our troops.send the boys and girls home. a few well placed tactical nukes and this mess would be over .</font>

In the early '80s I remember seeing a tee shirt with a BUFF head on it racing away from a mushroom cloud with the saying "And Now it's Miller Time". But let's face it, the reason that old men aren't used to fight wars is they simply could not put up with the day to day grind

decoy91288
08-13-2005, 11:06 PM
.

[This message has been edited by decoy91288 (edited 08-14-2005).]

decoy91288
08-14-2005, 09:41 AM
.

cnccnc
08-14-2005, 04:48 PM
When your right, your right! Specially tracker! Hell the Virginia Farmboys are convinced - convinced the terrorist are going to nuke us! We oughta do them first!

John Lawson
08-14-2005, 05:05 PM
I'm 75 and I've been fighting those Mohammedens all of my life. I'm an Armenian. They murdered 3/4 of the living Armenians in 1915 and nobody batted an eyelash. My family tree was cut off at ground level. Now they spend all kinds of money in propaganda to blame the victims and deny that the Armenian massacres ever happened.
Good luck, you come-latelys. Your war, like my war will NEVER, EVER be over. You are deluding yourself to think otherwise.
The Koran is a book of hate. We are the "Infidels" they are told to eliminate.
So, stop with the brave talk; it means nothing and just makes you look more foolish than you already are.
Even if the troops come home and somebody in D.C. declares that the war is over, they will continue to try to kill you and your family and they are willing to give up their lives to accomplish the deed.
I wish you all more luck than I've had in my lifetime.

Your Old Dog
08-14-2005, 05:27 PM
John, I'm just not ready to roll over and spread my cheeks.

Resolve is what will carry us the furthest in this war. When any nations enemy understands that their resolve is firm it changes everything. Once the rest of the panty waste in this country sign on and convince the media to do the same then we will start to see progress.

For now I'd start by throwing every muslim out of this country who won't openly denounce the cowardly act of terriorist operating in their name. This is getting stupid.

John Lawson
08-14-2005, 08:45 PM
Geed for you!
My family found that ordinary store and shop keepers who had known them for a lifetime turned on them and tried to kill them when their religious leaders ordered them to murder lifetime friends and neighbors because they were Christians and thus, infidels.
Are you ready to kill the local Mohammedens and certain factions of Americans who consider themselves Moslems on a moment's nitice?
Think it over before you make brave talk.
If you act or even talk about it you will be a villain in the eyes of your friends, family, neighbors and government.
Are you committed to giving up your life for your beliefs?
This is not a game; they are deadly serious.
Short of a desperation play, we have already lost this war. American traitors of all persuasions are hounding the government to surrender by leaving the fight.

Boomer
08-14-2005, 09:00 PM
"Panty waste"? thought that was a miss-spelling....maybe not.

chief
08-14-2005, 09:13 PM
John,
You are right about the koran, there are more anti-christian remarks than there are anti-semtic. It will indeed be a long row to hoe.
Even as Israel is giving back the Gaza strip, HAMAS has started violence there against jew and muslim alike. They really don't want piece or a homeland,they want domination, believing that if they controlled everything all would be well.
Unfortunately do not have the skills to run things after they do win. Afghanistan is a perfect example the country starved while the people in power liked like kings and disregarded the rule applied to the populace, same goes for Zimbabwe, Mugabe won the war and destroyed the country. The war won't kill us the aftermath will.
If we have to deport every muslim so be it, it's a small price to pay, it is certainly a kinder fate than what the Chinese do to muslims.

Cecil Walker
08-15-2005, 09:59 AM
I'm 58, served in 66-68, and would give it a go again if given the chance!

elbryant
08-15-2005, 11:07 AM
EVERYONE has a role in this war. It isn't the willingness of some to bear arms that will preserve our civilization, it is the BELIEF IN THE RIGHTNESS OF THEIR CAUSE that will give such success as we ever have on earth.

Though imperfect, and much damaged in recent decades, the civilization we have inherited of limited government (because we recognize the natural corruption of mankind), of rule by law (activist judges aside), of free ownership and use of our property (unless it's a gun or a small airplane), ETC. --- THIS IS A CIVILIZATION WORTH PRESERVING.

Those who say they "support the troops but oppose the war" undermine the troops in the most crucial way, because they take away their conviction in the rightness of their cause. This is why treason is defined as providing aid and COMFORT to the enemy.
Dick Durbin, my senator http://bbs.homeshopmachinist.net//tongue.gif has done incredible damage.

John, your words make no sense to those who cannot conceive of the rightness of a cause. Ever since high school I have been confronted with countless educators saying "Who's to say who is right?" We still hear it as the 4th anniversary of 9/11 comes up: Those terrorists were sincere in their beliefs. Who can say they were wrong?

Our heritage is a free people is a wonderful thing, in which the government doesn't tell us what we have to believe. But that doesn't mean that there isn't a right and wrong, or that we don't have a responsibility to find it out ourselves.

I have a son who is a pilot in the Air Force (C-130 driver). My daughter just married a man who is in the MN Guard (army) who is off to Iraq this Fall.

I can help them more by upholding the rightness of their cause than by picking up a rifle.

Forget the political debate. The political debate as conducted by guys like Senator Durbin assumes their is no transcendent right or wrong. THEREFORE he picks whatever side of whatever issue will undermine the president and regain power for his own party. That is the POLITICS OF BAD FAITH.

I WISH it were as easy as laying down a dense field of fire, or incinerating a town. The immoral nature of our opposition means there will be plenty of collateral damage. But the important thing is what we are preserving.

The son of a buddy of mine is a Marine on his third tour there. He grew up in xxxxxxx (edited), where my buddy was a missionary. Three times they all fled for their lives and the third time was the last. My buddy goes back incognito once in a while, at great danger.

During their second day in Baghdad, at the beginning of the war, a woman ran out of a house straight at this Marine, shouting. He didn't kill her. She grabbed him by the feet and looked up, at him and said, in not bad English, "Thank you! Thank you! I'm a Christian too. Don't leave. Not like last time. They'll kill us all."

Ed Bryant

John Lawson
08-15-2005, 12:11 PM
Jews, Moslems and Christians all base their religions in a belief in the God of Abraham.
It seems to me that God is whispering different things in some ears; many certainly don't treat us as brothers.
You might ask one of those pompous "educators" (Liberal propagandists?) how they come to the conclusion that the totally unprovoked murder on a very large scale of innocent men, women and children can possibly be "right", or in any manner acceptable conduct, politically, morally or religiously.

"Liberalism is a mental disorder." K. Glanzer

[This message has been edited by John Lawson (edited 08-15-2005).]

elbryant
08-15-2005, 01:07 PM
John, now there you go again. Ask them what's right? They think I'm awfully pitiful believing there IS a right.

9/11 was a moment of moral clarity from which such educators have now "recovered."

If the God who is there has revealed Himself (as I believe He has) what is surprising about people misrepresenting Him? Islam, Christianity, and Judaism cannot all be correct. The Christian gospel leaves everything up to pursuasion, though, and takes the "sword" out of the hand of the preachers. He leaves that up to the civil power.

Ed

jkilroy
08-15-2005, 02:02 PM
Peace though carpet bombing.

Mike Gibson
08-15-2005, 03:15 PM
jkilroy- Well said.

BillH
08-15-2005, 03:58 PM
<font face="Verdana, Arial" size="2">Originally posted by elbryant:
John, now there you go again. Ask them what's right? They think I'm awfully pitiful believing there IS a right.

9/11 was a moment of moral clarity from which such educators have now "recovered."

If the God who is there has revealed Himself (as I believe He has) what is surprising about people misrepresenting Him? Islam, Christianity, and Judaism cannot all be correct. The Christian gospel leaves everything up to pursuasion, though, and takes the "sword" out of the hand of the preachers. He leaves that up to the civil power.

Ed</font>


I keep losing things, I can't explain it, so therefore, there must be little gnomes running around taking my stuff when i'm not looking. You see, science is garbage.

John Lawson
08-15-2005, 09:13 PM
Carpet bombing with iron bombs didn't work in Vietnam, and it won't work in the desert. Nothing short of an enormous flash and mushroom cloud is going to get their attention.
Of course, Phil Sheridan defeated the American Indians by killing off all of their buffalo. Perhaps we should send our troops thousands of Weatherby camel rifles, then declare open season and see how that works for openers. They call camels "ships of the desert" because they are full of Arab semen.
They know right from wrong. The Code of Hammurabi is well known to them, and it spells out each crime and gives the penalty.
Shove that down Acadamia's craw...the obfuscating liberals can't deny those facts.

Your Old Dog
08-15-2005, 09:13 PM
This was a comforting thread for me to read. I was starting to think everyone else had given up on justice and peace. Now lets go make some Pieces.

edited 3 days latter to add:

elbryant you're right just as large a role as the fighting is the support a nation throws behind it's soldiers. When much of the country is running around badmouthing their own country it gives comfort to the enemy. The anti war crowd makes this fight much harder than it has to be.

But you're right, you don't need a uniform to fight for your country. Often times you can do more from outside the military.....

end of edited remarks

[This message has been edited by Your Old Dog (edited 08-16-2005).]

crossthreaded
08-16-2005, 12:20 AM
John, Phil Sheridan & Tecumseh Sherman had war figured out in 1865. I don't think anyone has improved much on it. The Civil war was over 1863, but nobody was going to give up, even tho the economies were ruined & both sides were drafting teenagers & old men. It actually ended when thinking people just went home to take care of their families. It was so terrible we haven't tried it since.

coldformer
08-16-2005, 03:54 AM
we need more glass lets start making it in iraq
then move from there

bobbybeef
08-16-2005, 05:18 AM
Here we go again.
There is only one way to teach a bad man or woman for that matter, that what they are about is not good for anyone, is to destroy them.
The purpose of defence forces, yours or ours is to destroy the enemy.The best way is to be smarter than them,then find them and then destroy them.
Its hard work and old blokes like me just get in the way. What with senior moments and
incontinence I could not pick up the pack I lumped as a kid soldier.
We must however give top class support to our fighting services. Let the liberal (note the small l) wank on about all their problems trying to decide if its day or night. They have always been around getting in the way of people doing a job of work.
support our troops,yours and mine.Keep the real belief that our cause is good and hope to hell that our arm is strong.
Hang in there America ,and the Brits and us of course. There are others. Japan springs to mind.
One foot in front of the other up the hill, eventually we will get to the top and get a brief spell before the next bunch of religious nuts are let loose.
Regards,

Bobby.

pete913
08-16-2005, 07:05 AM
Alcova, don't tell me, tell Dubya. I'd really love to see him concentrate on finding Bin Laden. After all, it's the least he could do after pulling all the troops out of Afghanistan , where we had Bin Laden surrounded according to the former head of the CIA, to go on this little sightseeing farce in Iraq looking for WMD that didn't exist.
Just exactly how many times does Dubya himself have to admit publicly that Iraq had nothing to do with 9/11 before people get it?

[This message has been edited by pete913 (edited 08-16-2005).]

John Lawson
08-16-2005, 10:19 AM
So, you give them points for taking their arsenal across friendly borders with the help of their local sympathizers?
Don't be deluded. Their suicide squads seem to be very effective weapons of mas destruction. Their religious war very definitely is.
Bringing the troops home won't stop this war, which began many, many years ago...long before W. S'matter, you don't know how to read history books? 1915 was a big year for them; their main weapon of mass destruction was hatred for Christians.

jkilroy
08-16-2005, 11:16 AM
You must destroy the enemy or destroy his will to fight. Either will achieve the same end. When we dropped the bomb on Japan we didn't destroy all of Japan, just their will to fight. We just need to make the costs of the battle too high for the enemy to take. That is a tactic that we have not been willing to use since then.

We could do the same thing in Iraq without nukes, its just not going to be popular with the press. The ironic thing being that if we faught that way, in the end far fewer people would die on both sides.

There are no guilty or innocent people, only targets.

John Lawson
08-16-2005, 09:29 PM
Make the cost too high? Surely you jest! They are willing to die to inflict damage to us. Just what would you suggest that we do to make the cost higher than what it already is, if they are willing to lose life, family, civilization, country and all of the oil in the ground?