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Wayne02
08-19-2005, 03:03 PM
Two old guys are pushing their carts around Wal-Mart when they collide.

The first old guy says to the second guy, "Sorry about that. I'm looking for my wife, and I guess I wasn't paying attention to where I was going."

The second old guy says, "That's OK. It's a coincidence. I'm looking for my wife, too. I can't find her and I'm getting a little
desperate."

The first old guy says, "Well, maybe we can help each other. What does your wife look like?

The second old guy says, "Well, she is 27 yrs old, tall, with red hair, blue eyes, long legs, big busted, and is wearing short shorts. What does your wife look like?"

The first old guy says, "Doesn't matter --- let's look for yours."
http://bbs.homeshopmachinist.net//smile.gif

Spin Doctor
08-19-2005, 04:01 PM
Why is it every time I set foot in Wally World (I only buy soap and shampoo there, OK maybe a DVD or golf balls if they're cheap but that's it) I feel like I am stepping into the shallow end of the gene pool http://bbs.homeshopmachinist.net//rolleyes.gif

[This message has been edited by Spin Doctor (edited 08-19-2005).]

IOWOLF
08-19-2005, 04:08 PM
Walmart and county fairs, thats the best places to go if you have had a rotten day.You see there are worse things that can happen and go away smileing.

bob308
08-19-2005, 04:41 PM
you want a real scare go to a local auction house on a fri. or sat night.

GregC
08-19-2005, 04:46 PM
True enough....but I gotta defend Walmart by saying every time I step into a mom n' pop store I get the same feeling.

The local hardware store here went out of business last year amid much fanfare and the usual 'killing the little man' bitching and moaning - Home Depot had moved in.

The FACT of the matter is they sucked for years and it was only because no one else was around that they stayed alive. In other words, they could afford to suck. Their bins never held more than 2 or 3 of a given item; imagine trying to run some conduit and you can only buy three Romex clamps.

The moron in charge of their pipe area insisted they could not thread 1/8 pipe - despite the fact that I pointed out to him the "1/8" setting on the Ridgid threader. When they did thread pipe, it usually resulted in a threaded portion about twice as long as it should be.

And God forbid you tried to return something....

IOWOLF
08-19-2005, 05:01 PM
Its not the wallmart that we are makeing fun of its the consumers,and the ma and pops have to go somewhere,yup you guessed it, Wally world.

wierdscience
08-19-2005, 06:47 PM
"When I die bury me at Walmart,that way my wife will visit my grave often" http://bbs.homeshopmachinist.net//biggrin.gif

JS
08-19-2005, 06:57 PM
Just use their intercom system to page her.

walmart is way to big . I loose my whole family in there every week ,but where else am I suposed to go after everyone else's prices are still cost too much??

Wayne02
08-19-2005, 09:28 PM
I usually only go to walmart for 9mm ammo anymore. I have a planned route that gets me in the doors, to the ammo counter, and out again in the shortest amount of time.

I find the biggest hazard is LSP's (Large Spandex People). They make an already small aisle even smaller, and can really slow me down trying to dodge them.

Fortunately, in my Walmart the garden center double exit doors are a straight shot from the ammo counter. Even if I encounter an oncoming LSP while I'm going through the door, I can usually turn sideways and miss them as I scoot out the door.
http://bbs.homeshopmachinist.net//wink.gif

Wayne

Your Old Dog
08-19-2005, 09:34 PM
I made the assumption that items for my fishing boat would be cheaper at Walmart. I was wrong. Everything from wheel bearings to grease and outboard oil were cheaper at a local boating store where I thought they'd cost more ! Now I just assume they're more expensive for most items not listed on sale.

Michael Az
08-19-2005, 11:28 PM
I must be the only guy that loves walmart. About the only excitment I get is when I go there. They have a mcdonalds just inside the door where I alway stop for coffee. I love to sit for awhile and watch the babes come and go. I don't too much care if they put out the two old hardware stores. The kids know nothing there and everything is made in china that they have [even waterpipe] so what whats the difference? See what its like to get old?
Michael

Buckshot
08-19-2005, 11:35 PM
.......Crowds at our local Wal-Mart are obscene. Idiot parents with their out of control kids dismantleing the toy dept, you get the cosmetics girl for help in sporting goods.

I go to Wal-Mart for one thing and that's Win Dyna-Point 2RF ammo, and have prolonged even THOSE visits via buying 2 cases last time. THAT was a fiasco of the first water too.

I go to K Mart. Closer, and I can park at the front door. Same people in run over house slippers and billowing muu-muu's stopped fixated in the middle of the aisle, but the next aisle is wide open. One person or no one in front of me at checkout.

I don't get the Wal-Mart attraction anyway. Same worthless throwaway crap at K Mart. Color me baffeled.

Rick

IOWOLF
08-20-2005, 08:03 AM
<font face="Verdana, Arial" size="2">Originally posted by Wayne02:
I usually only go to walmart for 9mm ammo anymore. I have a planned route that gets me in the doors, to the ammo counter, and out again in the shortest amount of time.

I find the biggest hazard is LSP's (Large Spandex People). They make an already small aisle even smaller, and can really slow me down trying to dodge them.

Fortunately, in my Walmart the garden center double exit doors are a straight shot from the ammo counter. Even if I encounter an oncoming LSP while I'm going through the door, I can usually turn sideways and miss them as I scoot out the door.
http://bbs.homeshopmachinist.net//wink.gif

Wayne </font>


Spandex should have a weight limit.

Mike Gibson
08-20-2005, 08:15 AM
Imagine a spandex blowout right there in Walmart. Oozing cellulite.

Rustybolt
08-20-2005, 08:23 AM
<font face="Verdana, Arial" size="2">Originally posted by Spin Doctor:
Why is it every time I set foot in Wally World (I only buy soap and shampoo there, OK maybe a DVD or golf balls if they're cheap but that's it) I feel like I am stepping into the shallow end of the gene pool http://bbs.homeshopmachinist.net//rolleyes.gif

[This message has been edited by Spin Doctor (edited 08-19-2005).]</font>


Around here it's like entering a third world country.

Wirecutter
08-20-2005, 11:33 AM
<font face="Verdana, Arial" size="2">Originally posted by Mike Gibson:
Imagine a spandex blowout right there in Walmart. Oozing cellulite.</font>


How about screaming heebie-jeebies? Thanks a lot for that image. Now I'm gonna have nightmares, you SOB. Thanks.

BillH
08-20-2005, 01:17 PM
http://home.comcast.net/~billh308/WireCutterDate.jpg