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malbenbut
12-27-2005, 08:18 AM
Over the Xmas period I had an e mail from my first love who I had not heard from for 45 years. she said she still thought of me often and she could not forget the glorious times we had and that I was her first lover.
I e mailed her back and said I am not the man I used to be, I have put on a few pounds about the waist gone grey at the temples have a slight problem with piles and I dont think I could make love five times a night like I used to.
Within minutes she replied she to was not the slip of a girl she used to be and that she had gained three stone had false teeth wore specs like jam jar bottoms and she had a flatulence problem.
I immediately e mailed back and said f'''off you fat smelly t''t and changed my e mail address
Have I done right

[This message has been edited by malbenbut (edited 12-27-2005).]

lynnl
12-27-2005, 08:26 AM
So.. when are you getting back together? http://bbs.homeshopmachinist.net//biggrin.gif

malbenbut
12-27-2005, 08:32 AM
My wife says I cant go

thistle
12-27-2005, 09:53 AM
correct reply,
words to the effectof-"Madam do you per chance have a lathe and a mill,and if so please send a picture,also do you own a brewery?"

BillH
12-27-2005, 10:09 AM
Im not sure you needed to change your email address, she probably committed suicide.

Rex
12-27-2005, 10:31 AM
Actually, last summer I got an email from my girlfreind in Grades 1 - 3, in Spain (AF brats). We said goodbye in 1960, exchanged cards for about 7 years, nothing since.
So last fall she came for a visit with her family, nice folks all. And she still looks good. We exchange email daily, friends again.

We haven't compared flatulence, but I'm pretty sure I'd win that one.

Dawai
12-27-2005, 10:41 AM
I don't even joke about how mean ex's can be. To you, thier present bo, or anybody else that will listen.

If I was to lose Carrol, I'd bring the dog inside to live, roll out the sleeping bag, close off about 7/8ths of the house and be happy. And never pursue another.

Alistair Hosie
12-27-2005, 12:04 PM
David theres something to be said for the simple life but you would be easily bored with it.A man needs a wife to fetch things and wash his smelly socks and undies cook his food and take the dog out otherwise their pretty useless. http://bbs.homeshopmachinist.net//biggrin.gif sorry Bronwen just kidding seriously I married when I was nineteen 34years ago and I would marry her again tomorrow. http://bbs.homeshopmachinist.net//biggrin.gifAlistar

Allan Waterfall
12-27-2005, 02:24 PM
<font face="Verdana, Arial" size="2">Originally posted by Alistair Hosie:
I married when I was nineteen 34years ago and I would marry her again tomorrow. http://bbs.homeshopmachinist.net//biggrin.gifAlistar</font>

Yes,but would she marry you.? http://bbs.homeshopmachinist.net//biggrin.gif http://bbs.homeshopmachinist.net//biggrin.gif

Allan

speedy
12-27-2005, 03:06 PM
<font face="Verdana, Arial" size="2">Originally posted by malbenbut:
I immediately e mailed back and said f'''off you fat smelly t''t and changed my e mail address
Have I done right
[This message has been edited by malbenbut (edited 12-27-2005).]</font>

So, it was your personality and sense of decorum that she was ( and still is )in love with? http://bbs.homeshopmachinist.net//biggrin.gif http://bbs.homeshopmachinist.net//biggrin.gif

The best laugh I have had all this week.

Ken

pgmrdan
12-27-2005, 05:58 PM
"A man needs a maid."
Neil Young

Your Old Dog
12-27-2005, 06:33 PM
<font face="Verdana, Arial" size="2">Originally posted by Alistair Hosie:
David theres something to be said for the simple life but you would be easily bored with it.A man needs a wife to fetch things and wash his smelly socks and undies cook his food and take the dog out otherwise their pretty useless. </font>

Well I thought this thread was hilarious till I read the above. Now I can see I been getten screwed all these years. Nobody told me. http://bbs.homeshopmachinist.net//biggrin.gif http://bbs.homeshopmachinist.net//biggrin.gif

wierdscience
12-27-2005, 07:33 PM
The three F's

If it Flys,Floats or Fornicates it's cheaper to rent http://bbs.homeshopmachinist.net//biggrin.gif

charlie coghill
12-27-2005, 09:10 PM
With mine I just tell her to put another log on the fire babe, she has been gone for two weeks now.


BTW she is taking care of our daughter who just had an operation.

Arbo
12-28-2005, 09:16 AM
What do you call that worthless skin around a vagina?........


Woman!

gizmo2
12-28-2005, 07:18 PM
Personally, I find many parallels between women and big game hunting. Fun to think about, plan, stalk, hunt. The fun is in the chase. But soon as you CATCH one, well then the work starts and the fun goes clean out of it. You've filled your tag; show it off to your buddies, dress it and drag it home. Then it's the same old meat, day after day, until you can't hardly stand another bite. You might still dream of the next hunt, and you can reminicse about hunts in the past. But the freezer's full, pal. Harummf.

malbenbut
12-29-2005, 06:07 AM
You hunt a woman until she catches you

Carl
12-29-2005, 02:06 PM
<font face="Verdana, Arial" size="2">"A man needs a maid."</font>


I agree...but my wife won't let me hire one...

http://www.hustlerpanties.com/prodimages/fpmaidtn.jpg

Evan
12-29-2005, 02:21 PM
My favorite club, in Calgary.

[not work safe!]

http://www.frenchmaid.com/