View Full Version : practicle jokes

11-21-2002, 11:25 PM
I owe a guy at work one.I'm looking for something a little more creative than the old standards (i.e. persian blue or grease on a handle,oil in an air nozzel,ect.).I know you guys know of some ways I can torture this poor soul!!!!!!


Forrest Addy
11-21-2002, 11:36 PM
Don't do it. It's not a case of being a good sport or getting even. One thing leads to another and eventually someone could get hurt or expensive equipment damaged. You don't want that on your conscience.

Regardless, time spent fooling around is time off produstion. Practical jokes are forbidden in many shops and a single offense could get you fired.

I know about the safety and personal injury part. I was on the union safety committee for many years. I've seen the results of many jokes that backfired including a goose with an air hose that nearly killed the recipient.

I hate to sound stuffy but a machine shop has enough hazards without peurile pranks.

11-21-2002, 11:57 PM
I would not try anything either.

Threaten to get him a date with my bitchy sister - that would be punishment enough... http://bbs.homeshopmachinist.net//biggrin.gif

11-22-2002, 02:43 AM
The best practical joke I've ever seen pulled off in a shop (usually _not_ a good place for them) involved a rather uptight German foreman and a quick younger machinist.... The foreman had just taken delivery of a brand new Kurt Angl-lock vise for one of the Bridgeports, and made the mistake of telling the machinists to be careful with it :-)....

Come lunch hour, the young guy grabs a piece of 16 gage sheet scrap and brings a 3/4" endmill down on it, leaving a perfect "cats-ass" on the scrap. A quick trip over to the punch and he's got a round 3/4" piece of sheet metal .062" thick... over on the surface grinder he starts removing metal from the backside of the disk and it's soon .002" thick.

Well, a little grease on the foil cats-ass
and it's stuck nicely to that brand new
Kurt vise.... and now our hero just waits.

Pretty soon, someone else "notices" the
cats-ass and calls the foreman over. The
foreman turned red and the air turned bright blue as he railed about the careless habits
of the machinists... when he suddenly looked
closely at the vise and felt the cats-ass
with his fingernail. Everyone started
laughing, and he did too once he'd calmed
down a little bit.

Bart Smaalders

metal mite
11-22-2002, 07:07 AM

If you claim to be a professional, don't get involved.

It's very tempting and lots of fun at the moment, but not worth losing your job or worse. Your family needs you, and that job more than you need that momentary high.

A crane operator goosed me with the hook while I was tending an 84" vertical boring mill years ago.
He thought it was real funny, but had I jumped the wrong way, that machine would have chewed me up and spit me out.

You guys could have missed all my smart assed remarks.

An employee, Tom, was making a museum piece out of a job once. He worked for days polishing and finishing that thin walled part.
Todd carefully placed the part on the concrete floor, and dropped a piece of angle iron behind the machine. "Tom, I bumped your part, sorry " he says.
Needless to say Tom goes off like a bomb.

Tom has to try to get the better of Todd.

If a good chewing out is the end of it both are lucky.


11-22-2002, 09:38 AM
One doofus is one too many, don't add to the count.

Neil Peters

11-22-2002, 01:18 PM

Don't listen to those other guys. Dress up like a terrorist, get an assault rifle (with blanks), go into work (like nothing is wrong) and hold the entire shop as hostages (don't hurt anyone, just scare them real good). Then when the SWAT team shows up, fire a few blank rounds into the air. They probably won't notice that they are blanks anyway. Then give yourself up and tell them that you were just "joking around". That will give everyone a good laugh and you can go back to work like nothing happened (in 5 or 10 years).

That will show that guy.....

Or maybe you could just tell the guy that it was a good joke that he played on you, but you don't want to retaliate because someone might get hurt, and hope that he is "man enough" to understand.

Be there.....done that.


11-22-2002, 04:25 PM
I have seen many practical jokes at work, but we did have a standard in the shop I worked in, none within the shop walls, or on shop property.

11-22-2002, 04:34 PM
Well guys ,I don't really have to do anything after today.This idiot messed with the wrong guy in the wrong mood(not me) today.The guy strung him up on a crane hook by his belt and dared any one to let him down.Needless to say,there were no takers.This idiot been pulling this crap on & off for some time.I do know that fun & games don't belong on the shop floor,sometimes my temper gets the best of me.In or shop enviroment things have a way of correcting themselves sometimes.


Ragarsed Raglan
11-22-2002, 05:24 PM

I agree ~ tom foolery in the workplace is dangrous,but.....

.....drill a 0.005" hole in an old mug 3/4" down from the rim. Offer him a mug of coffee as a peace offering, stand back and watch as his 'lips leak'.....


[This message has been edited by Ragarsed Raglan (edited 11-22-2002).]

11-22-2002, 07:31 PM
Practial jokes in the workplace are dangerous.

Hire a male striper and have her show up at lunch.


11-22-2002, 08:45 PM
I agree with everyone, practical jokes can be dangerous... instead of playing practical jokes, try joking around talking..make fun of someone because they look like Thrud or something,.....because no matter how safe something is, it is never IDIOT proof...


11-22-2002, 11:38 PM
I will have you know I look good in a pink tutu - even walked into a biker bar once dressed that way (on a dare) and yelled "Hey, which one of you pukes owns the Honda out front!" Got free drinks all night. http://bbs.homeshopmachinist.net//tongue.gif

Safety Note: This only works well if you are a 400Lb. Gorilla. http://bbs.homeshopmachinist.net//biggrin.gif

11-23-2002, 03:26 PM
Dave: Are you the guy who sent the PETA (people for ethical treament of animals) anti-leather squad to the bikers bar to complain about the bikers use of leather?

Shame to you. 7 PETAs went none have returned. And you adivise against practical jokes. Double shame.

[This message has been edited by docsteve66 (edited 11-23-2002).]

11-23-2002, 05:23 PM
PETA? You mean People for Eating and Tasting Animals?

Oh, you mean the "don't club the cute baby seals" freaks.

Yeah, but I sent them to a GAY S&M bar - not a biker bar... http://bbs.homeshopmachinist.net//biggrin.gif