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View Full Version : OT: first time sighting, dirty H2



Wirecutter
09-18-2006, 01:11 PM
Thought I'd share an image. I have never seen one like this. Must have let Junior borrow the vehicle.

Of course, it was in the parking lot of a service station - maybe it got stuck or broken...


http://i70.photobucket.com/albums/i106/wires99/H2.jpg

Evan
09-18-2006, 01:19 PM
That's the way everything looks like here in winter. Then it snaps so cold you can't wash it if you ever want to get the doors open without ripping off the weather stripping.

JCHannum
09-18-2006, 01:49 PM
No, it is funny to watch the fools. Most people who buy these gonzo H2's wash and wax them and will never allow their mega dollar machine to see a mud puddle. They are status symbols, and not intended for dirty work.

mklotz
09-18-2006, 02:10 PM
Here in LALAland, limousines are a dime a dozen. (I suppose that sometimes the
soccer moms need to transport the spectators as well as the team.)

Stretch Hummers in pearlescent white are the latest manifestation. One sees
them at all the weddings next to the stretched Mercedes Benz SUVs.

The ones I don't understand are the stretch GMC Yukons. I guess those are for
the yuppies who don't want to appear too pretentious. Yeah, right. That's
gotta be it.

LarryinLV
09-18-2006, 02:19 PM
It must have been splashed by a semi driving by. I've never known one to actually be spotted off road around here.

JCHannum
09-18-2006, 02:27 PM
On the other hand, take a closer look. It might actually be a custom paint job. Like pre worn out tools sold by the chicoms, maybe someone has come up with a pre dirtied Hummer.

That way you can look like a real "happenin guy" and still keep your tennies clean.

Hermes will be introducing a line of camo neckwear to complement the look.

john hobdeclipe
09-18-2006, 03:28 PM
On the other hand, take a closer look. It might actually be a custom paint job. Like pre worn out tools sold by the chicoms, maybe someone has come up with a pre dirtied Hummer...
That was my first thought...excellent airbrush work. Attention to detail: they even did the tires.

Evan
09-18-2006, 03:42 PM
He probably was tailgating a cattle truck.

Willy
09-18-2006, 03:46 PM
JC is right,it has got to be paint,if it was real off road abuse there would be dents and scratches because most of the owners of this class of vehicle can't drive on pavement let alone figure out what to do in an off road situation.
Evan is also correct in his assessment of the condition of cars in this part of the country come winter.If you do get a nice sunny day and you want to wash your car it's usually -30 and you'll need an axe to dry it.:D

Sprocket
09-18-2006, 05:35 PM
I can't remember if it was for real, but I seem to remember seeing aerosol mud
for sale somewhere, for just this purpose.

Yeah, here it is:

www.sprayonmud.com/

I guess that proves again that you can sell anything!

torker
09-18-2006, 06:13 PM
Funny thread...I was just reading this on MSN news..
http://autos.msn.com/advice/article.aspx?contentid=4024207

wierdscience
09-18-2006, 06:53 PM
We call the things "SQUARE BLAZERS" since that's all it is,an over priced Chevy Blazer.I hate the things,not because it's an SUV,but because it's a fraud.
No ground clearance,no variable tire pressure,no intake and exhaust on the roof and a stinkin gas burner to boot.Not a thing in common with a real Hummer.

Boomer
09-18-2006, 07:06 PM
Ever seen one of those six wheeled pick-ups with anything in it other than the driver?

rsr911
09-18-2006, 07:13 PM
Besides you haven't actually been mudding unless the wheels are packed all the way to the brakes with mud! :D

I've never taken a pic of my '03 FX4 Level II Ranger all muddy, I've gotten it stuck more than one on the factory 31x10.5 BFG all terrains. Thinking about Boggers for the next set of tires. ;)

wierdscience
09-18-2006, 07:35 PM
Besides you haven't actually been mudding unless the wheels are packed all the way to the brakes with mud! :D



That's a gripe I forgot,the real Hummer also has inboard mounted dics brakes,up nice and high out of the deep mud.

JRouche
09-18-2006, 07:54 PM
Of course it's paint....

This is what H2s look like after their illustrious owners take them off road... JRouche
http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v366/Jrouche/HSM/Wreckedh2.jpg

torker
09-18-2006, 10:58 PM
Besides you haven't actually been mudding unless the wheels are packed all the way to the brakes with mud! :D



Not always! My ol' hot rod...if it got mud on it...it meant I missed the tuneup :D
http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v210/torker/Hairy_Kanary_2.jpg
Russ

torker
09-19-2006, 12:12 AM
We call the things "SQUARE BLAZERS" since that's all it is,an over priced Chevy Blazer.I hate the things,not because it's an SUV,but because it's a fraud.
No ground clearance,no variable tire pressure,no intake and exhaust on the roof and a stinkin gas burner to boot.Not a thing in common with a real Hummer.
Darin...you hit the nail square on. They are a joke. I can't believe how many older folks are buying those here now. Seems to be their treat to themselves when they retire.
I'd far rather have one of the new Toyota Landcruisers I think.
They're poser 4X4's also but have a lot more going for them that an H2.

darryl
09-19-2006, 02:07 AM
Yeah, LandCruisers. I think they were the toughest 4x4's going. I'd like to think they still are, but I don't know. I do know I can't afford one now. I'll keep the old one going.

As far as the stretch vehicle fad, where's all the stretch corollas?

tryp
09-19-2006, 02:31 AM
First time I saw one of those (H2s) it was at the local soccer fields, driven by a native woman, good to see our tax dollars are getting them lucrative logging contracts at least. Toting around soccer playing kids is about all they are good for.

There is a video on youtube of an H2 going down a mild trail and blowing a tierod. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bpe8EZH607k

speedy
09-19-2006, 08:34 AM
I tend to think that it is not trail mud but a spray-on hand job by another sad tosser, er I mean poseur. Nice shiney chrome grill, clear side windows and obstructed rego plate
( I like that last part :) )

Wirecutter
09-19-2006, 10:27 AM
FYI, I took that picture yesterday during my lunch hour. I stopped at the gas station and spotted the thing. It didn't look to me like spray on mud, but ya never know. I was thinking that it was authentic, but that sort of mudding can be had on a wet, unpaved dirt road.

I was thinking that, generally, it's not a great idea to let mud dry on any vehicle like that. It was probably left dirty as a kind of boasting. I have to say I also enjoyed the vid of the guy blowing out the tie rod. Yeesh.

"Wally, you better wash that thing before Dad finds out."

-Mark

Weston Bye
09-19-2006, 12:40 PM
Sometimes the mud is legitimate. I had to use my wife's minivan once. On the way down our muddy gravel (more like oatmeal) road, traveling slowly to keep from getting the van too muddy, I encountered the local school bus. The bus was plowing along through the mud, pushing a bow wake that washed over the van from bumper to half way back along the roof, leaving a uniform quarter inch layer of the stuff. The windshield and all the left side windows were completely opaque and I had to come to a full stop and work the windshield wipers and washer for a couple of minutes before proceeding - directly to the car wash.

Evan
09-19-2006, 01:25 PM
My cousin and I did the Yanks Peak trail here a few years back. I took my Ford Ranger 4x4 and he took his specially equipped Blazer. He's a serious 4by nut and has it nicely tricked out. The Yanks Peak trail is the old gold rush route to Barkerville and goes right up the near vertical side of the mountain. It has about 12 switch backs where you have to back and fill about ten times to get turned for the next 20-30 degree stretch. A hummer won't fit, the trail is too narrow.

After that easy part it becomes more interesting. Unfortunately for my cousin we had a very dry spell just before he showed up and there weren't many mud pits to cross. When he did spot one he would accelerate to max and hit it as hard as possible. :D

We came to one point where we had a 45 degree rock wall to climb about 100 feet high. My German visitor bailed from my Ranger using the excuse that he wanted to take a picture. I got half way up and ended up balanced for a moment on one left front and right rear wheel. The front and rear posi kicked in and I kept going. I'm glad I special ordered those.

My cousin took it as a challenge and did it in 2 wheel drive. :D He does break his truck a lot but not that time. Good thing too, it's a very long way to help.

rsr911
09-20-2006, 01:06 AM
Evan,

Not to get to OT here in OT but does your Ranger have the torsen diff in the rear? Mine does and I have mixed feelings about it. It's certainly better than a clutch type posi but it's no locker. If I keep the truck I'm likely to install lockers front and rear, possibly an air locker in the rear with a standard locker in front. Right now it's posi in front with the torsen in back. It's too tight to engage 4x4 on pavement but somewhat lacking in the mud (although the current BFG all terrains are the main problem there).

Back on topic here in OT (lol) I met a guy in Michigan when I was visiting my brother who bought a surplus military Hummer, when he called they asked him when he would be picking "them" up. As the story goes the military parts are about impossible to get so the sell you a running truck and a parts truck. The whole story could have been BS for all I know but he did say the darn thing was too big for most of the trails he'd driven on.

Me, I just want the South American 3.0 Powerstroke turbo diesel for my truck but at $8000 it's a little rich for my blood and I would have to get creative to get around mandatory emissions testing.

Evan
09-20-2006, 01:31 AM
Heck, I don't remember what I ordered. That was 18 years ago. The only reason I can remember what I had for breakfast yesterday is because I have the same thing every day. :D

They aren't the clutch posi. If they were they would have given up a long time ago. I had a company Suburban with clutch type posi and it lasted about 3000 miles. Of course, one must remember that company vehicles are specially equipped with transmissions that allow shifting into reverse while still making forward progress and other such extra equipment. :D

BadDog
09-20-2006, 02:01 AM
We never run across the H2 crowd out wheeling here in the desert. The only dirt they get blows into town in one of the numerous dust storms, and that’s generally off within 24 hours at the outside.

But I'm not sure which is worse. The H2 crowd running around town with all their “bling”, “dubs”, and “trail gear”; or the middle aged over paid mid-life crisis H1 guys who think they can actually wheel those things in the rocks. We got behind an H1 club on what we consider a tame trail, what a terrible experience that was. Rude jerks with no trail etiquette and would not clear the way even though others were backing up behind them. Talk about slow and cumbersome with no where near enough wheel travel or ground clearance for our desert rock trails, though they can handle some crazy off-camber traverses. We finally got around them (staying on the trail of course!) when they got hung up at the first significant obstacle... ON THE BYPASS! It was fun watching their faces as we went around them while they had 2 vehicles stuck HARD within 30’ feet of each other. Their, winches and jacks were coming out, and we puttered on by through a much nastier area, which they doubtless had dismissed as “impassable”, all without lifting or spinning a tire. :D

As for lockers, Detroit or selectable spool is the only way to wheel. I’ve got 2 trucks with 1 ton solid axles and Detroits front and rear, and even my 4WD 2500HD tow vehicle (for the buggy) has a G80 auto locker in the 12-1/2” rear.

Evan
09-20-2006, 02:44 AM
BadDog,

Arizona is fun for a little drive. Buddy and me uh.. borrowed a CJ from the motor pool one weekend at Fort Huachuca more than a few years ago and went for a drive because we were bored. I even have a pic. It's kinda hard to tell how steep this trail is but going down we were both leaning as far back in the seat as we could 'cause it felt like we were about to do an endo. This is in the hills behind the fort not far from mehico.

http://vts.bc.ca/pics/view1.jpg

We got away with it and nobody was the wiser. :D

madman
09-20-2006, 09:00 AM
My buddy rented one for a week. He told me it was a gutless piece of junk. No room to boot. No wonder gms going broke.

BadDog
09-20-2006, 12:07 PM
Bring the H2s out to play... ;)
http://www.members.cox.net/thebaddog/lascruces/lc03.jpg
http://www.members.cox.net/thebaddog/lascruces/lc25.jpg

rsr911
09-20-2006, 08:34 PM
You have no idea how seriously I've been thinking about building a crawler/mud buggy. I'm thinking small 4cyl diesel for power even. Is it possible to get these things licensed as a kit car or something? My plan would be on the cheap using two front 9" axles from an early bronco, used motor etc. Just something I can beat up without worrying about huge financial loss.

BadDog
09-20-2006, 09:02 PM
You can license them in AZ with a full inspection and relatively minimal check list. But each state differs.

4 cyl isn't ideal, nor is a diesel, particularly for mud where you need high rpms and wheel speed with power to spin large lugged tires. Even on the rocks in AZ you sometimes need to go get some inertia going within 6-12" once you are "lined up" to carry you over. This is particularly important on waterfall climbs and the like. Some guys run the Toy 4cyl and similar, but they have to keep things as light as possible and often add turbos and such to get the power they need. And after all that, more than one has seen a v-6 or v-8 transplant. “Crawling” is only part of it, and sometimes you gotta “Get it!”. :D

Finally EBs had Dana 44 front axles that are much sought after by the Jeep crowd for their moderately narrow (but still wider then a jeep) track width. That combined with the EB fanatics makes the price less than a "good deal". Also, the Ford 9" isn't really strong (in several characteristics) enough for rock crawling unless seriously beefed ($$$$). You usually only see axles like that with a HP mod and beefed up for ultra-light buggies (usually 1 seat, 2 at most) where it offers several advantages. A rear Dana 60 or GM corp 14 are among the most popular with a Dana 60 front, though a light buggy/truggy can often do ok with a beefed Dana 44 running alloy axle shafts and after market u-joints such as the CTM or Super Joints. I run a tricked out Dana 60 and Corporate 14 bolt in mine, which is a good cost/value point IMO.

Rock crawling is among the toughest of the off-road motor sports on hardware due to tremendous stress due to combining power with compound gear reduction (I run stacked transfer cases for additional low – 3 sticks not counting the transmission) and pinching the entire drive train between all that torque and 42” tires that are spinning rapidly one second, and then wrap around and grip a boulder (4 psi) coming to a full stop and launching the truck the next. Anything less than 1 ton axles becomes a serious limitation to both power and tire size, which in turn limits your options. Then again, I’ve kinda gotten out of hand with mine.

But this is going further OT from the initial OT, so I’ll stop now...

Bond
09-20-2006, 11:15 PM
I like how clean the tires are.The tires on my truck get more mud on them in the driveway.

wierdscience
09-20-2006, 11:46 PM
You haven't been mud rid'in until you gotta knock the mud off the antenna to get good reception:D

Evan
09-21-2006, 12:33 AM
Around here the mud knocks the antenna off. :D

BadDog
09-21-2006, 03:29 AM
I hate mud. I used to run it when I lived back on the East Coast, but all the cleaning, draining, repacking, and such got old in a hury.

How's this for a clean tire. The tire was clean, but the photographers shorts were not! :D I had just moments before told him to move, and he did. Then he moved back to "get a better angle" and I didn't see him move. You can see in the photo that was snapped the exact instant I saw him. He snapped the photo and litterally spang backwards and away as I tagged the brake and dropped that 42" TSL almost exactly where he had been squatting to take the pic...
http://www.members.cox.net/baddog4x4/ww013104/ww09.jpg

Wirecutter
09-21-2006, 12:25 PM
I hate mud. I used to run it when I lived back on the East Coast, but all the cleaning, draining, repacking, and such got old in a hury.

How's this for a clean tire. The tire was clean, but the photographers shorts were not! :D I had just moments before told him to move, and he did. Then he moved back to "get a better angle" and I didn't see him move. You can see in the photo that was snapped the exact instant I saw him. He snapped the photo and litterally spang backwards and away as I tagged the brake and dropped that 42" TSL almost exactly where he had been squatting to take the pic...


Risky, yes, but that's a seriously cool shot. It looks like it belongs on a magazine cover.

-Mark