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Forrest Addy
09-05-2007, 06:44 PM
There are certain physical phenomena that physists have timed in terms of nanoseconds; the time is take for a photosynthesis to react to a photon of light for example.

I wonder if my time to hit the "mute" button in response to a Billy Mays OxyClean commercial qualifies.

BobC
09-05-2007, 08:56 PM
The mute button is surely handy to silence the many commercials on the few times that I bother to watch TV.

Bob

Fasttrack
09-05-2007, 10:13 PM
you don't like hearing someone scream the benefits of oxyclean at you?

JRouche
09-05-2007, 10:14 PM
Ahhh. Depends. The speed of sound as it leaves your speaker on the TV and how far away you sit from that speaker.

You may be shooting your request for silence at your TV at the speed of light but if you are too far away from the speaker there are still too many sound waves propagating through the air even after you silence the speaker that will reach your ears.

You are still gonna get bombarded with irritating audio waves for several milliseconds, ok maybe microseconds but still too much. Depends on your ear placement. The further the worse. The closer the better.

Them bastardly sound waves are gonna be hitting you at approximately 3.8 million feet per second. So the more feet between you and the speaker means more sound waves after you shut the speaker off.

I suggest wearing earphones, less feet. You hit the mute at light speed you will get a whole lot less sound waves hittin you.

Yep, thats the answer, ear phones.... JRouche

AussieChris
09-05-2007, 11:14 PM
The fastest thing????

An office manager was given the task of hiring an Individual to fill a job opening. After sorting through a stack of resumes he found four people who were equally qualified. He decided to call the four in and ask them only one question. Their answer would determine which of them would get the job. The day came and as the four sat around the conference room table the interviewer asked:

"What is the fastest thing you know of?"

Acknowledging the first man, on his right, the man replied,"A THOUGHT. It just pops into your head. There's no warning that it's on the way; it's just there. A thought is the fastest thing I know of."

"That's very good!" replied the interviewer.

"And now you sir?" he asked the second man.

"Hmm....let me see. A blink! It comes and goes and you don't know that it ever happened. A BLINK is the fastest thing I know of."

"Excellent!" said the interviewer. "The blink of an eye ... that's a very popular cliche for speed."

He then turned to the third man who was contemplating his reply."Well, out at my dad's FARM, you step out of the house and on the wall there's a light switch. When you flip that switch & way out across the pasture the light in the barn comes on in less than an ant. TURNING ON A LIGHT is the fastest thing I can think of."

The interviewer was very impressed with the third answer and thought he had found his man. "It's hard to beat the speed of light" He said.

Turning to the fourth and final man, the interviewer posed the same question.

"Well it's obvious to me that the fastest thing known is DIARRHEA."

"WHAT!?" said the interviewer, stunned by the response.

"Oh I can explain." said the fourth man. "You see the other day I wasn't feeling so good and I ran for the bathroom. But, before I could THINK, BLINK, or TURN ON THE LIGHT, I had already sh!t my pants."

HE GOT THE JOB................

Evan
09-05-2007, 11:30 PM
I mute the TV with the off button. Works great.

miker
09-06-2007, 12:28 AM
Garfield the cat turns off the light and jumps into his basket bfore it goes out.

FASTER THAN THE SPEED OF DARK!!

AussieChris, I almost emulated the fourth man when I read that. :)

Rgds

rws
09-06-2007, 08:14 AM
Don't blame you for muting Billy Mays. He sounds like something has his nads pulled pertty tight!

The other one I'm sick of is the Nutrisystem "look at me, I'm in a size two"!

Barf!

Evan
09-06-2007, 09:02 AM
Here I thought this thread was going to be about Doc Edgerton.

http://vts.bc.ca/pics2/edgerton1.jpg

toastydeath
09-06-2007, 05:53 PM
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Planck_time

Nothing faster!

Forrest Addy
09-06-2007, 06:48 PM
Hm. Planck time. I though that was like a shot clock except for Olympic divers you don't get off the board after a certain time they call you on it.

I can hear Costa: "Oops! Tony, that's a forfeit. Ubeldorfer was slow on his loosening up and went over his Planck time. If you can't get your dive in in 6.3 x10^14 attoseconds you might as well hang it up. Next is Hollenberg diving for Sweden..."

tattoomike68
09-06-2007, 07:12 PM
I remember my first beer.

Your Old Dog
09-06-2007, 08:10 PM
At long last, validation! With a passion pure as the driven fires of hell I hate that guy. Just once I'd like to see him somewhere in a store. I'd like to tell him what I think of his product at the top of my lungs.

So it's not just me. Life is once again good.

Evan
09-06-2007, 08:16 PM
Once again I haven't the slightest idea what this is about.

wierdscience
09-06-2007, 10:29 PM
Man walks in to the employment office and the woman behind the counter asks if she can help him.
"Yes mam,I'm sick and tired of sitting on my ass and collecting these welfare checks I want a job!"

"Oh the lady says your in luck,it seems we have an employer looking for a driver for his daughter"
"she is a extremely attractive 20y/o nymphomaniac supermodel and she needs someone to drive her around town in a limo"

"The job pays $90,000/year,has free health and dental and 6 weeks paid vacation to boot"

"Holy **** you must be bull****ting me"$90,000/year?"says the man.

The lady replies"yes I am bull****ting you,but you started it":D

Evan
09-07-2007, 12:51 AM
No BS here. I haven't a clue who Billy Mays is or why ?he needs muting.

lynnl
09-07-2007, 11:53 AM
Evan, he's a loud, obnoxious character seen a gazillion times a day on the TV marketing channels, here on the US cable TV networks, hawking everything from vegamatics to knife sets to car wax, and about any other household item you can think of.

mochinist
09-07-2007, 12:00 PM
No BS here. I haven't a clue who Billy Mays is or why ?he needs muting.Tell us one more time, somebody may not have figured out that you dont watch much tv if any.:rolleyes:

Ausserdog
09-07-2007, 01:40 PM
Funny, I had no trouble finding all kinds of pertinent stuff on Billy Mays through Google.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Billy_Mays

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cHAG1TLoyks

topct
09-07-2007, 05:11 PM
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Planck_time

Nothing faster!

The control of antimatter will have to be approached with extreme caution.

Uncontrolled accelerations would be possible.

Can you spell total discorperation?

heavysteamer
09-07-2007, 06:51 PM
Doc Edgerton was one of my favorite people. He was always interested in talking to an interested person.

Your Old Dog
09-07-2007, 07:20 PM
Evan,
maybe this will shed some light on the topic for you.

http://www.atmospheric-violence.com/mays/

This guy has made a living screaming into a microphone in which the compression has been turned way up. He seems to leap out of the TV at you selling OxyClean. It is extremely aggravating.

toastydeath
09-08-2007, 12:08 AM
The control of antimatter will have to be approached with extreme caution.

Uncontrolled accelerations would be possible.

Can you spell total discorperation?

There's a finite amount of energy released per particle/antiparticle annihilation, based on the particle pair's weight. How would that result in an uncontrolled acceleration?

Controlling antimatter is a matter of building the appropriate storage ring or cavity. The worst that can happen is you get an explosion, I'm not familiar with any unusually fast particles resulting from that.

Forrest Addy
09-08-2007, 12:59 PM
Control of antimatter depends a great deal on the uncle's influence with his wife. Nyuk! Nyuk! Nyuk!

Evan
09-08-2007, 10:39 PM
The worst that can happen is you get an explosion, I'm not familiar with any unusually fast particles resulting from that.

Well, a neutrino is released in an annihilation event and they travel at ~c. That's pretty fast.

toastydeath
09-09-2007, 03:00 AM
Well, a neutrino is released in an annihilation event and they travel at ~c. That's pretty fast.

That's true, but irrelevant in the "we are all going to die a horrible death" sense, since there's a torrential downpour of neutrinos streaming through everything at all times. I guess I'm just pointing out that there's nothing that will cause some sort of planetary cataclysm.

Evan
09-09-2007, 03:59 AM
I guess I'm just pointing out that there's nothing that will cause some sort of planetary cataclysm.

Also true. In fact, aside from the obvious difficulty of making, containing and storing any sort of antimatter (anti protons) the ensuing annihilation reaction isn't particularly useful as a source of energy to be harnessed for anything. The product is largely gamma radiation which is so hard that there isn't a practical way to extract and use the energy.

Lew Hartswick
09-09-2007, 11:11 AM
Doc Edgerton was one of my favorite people. He was always interested in talking to an interested person.

Which brings to mind the question I ask the receptionist at EG&G
when I was job hunting about 20 yrs ago. I ask her if she was there
when the phone was answered " Eggerton Gremishhousen and Greer"
I don't think she even knew what I was talking about. Youngsters!!
...lew...