View Full Version : For those who want a more permanent fix than provided by Viagra and Cialis?

10-27-2007, 08:32 PM

10-27-2007, 08:48 PM
Linking to your D drive isn't going to work.

10-27-2007, 11:10 PM
Linking to your D drive isn't going to work.

Same here Evan.

I hope ligito had more success with his "It" than he did with getting his (other??) "post" up.

I hope its not "X-rated"!!

Michael Edwards
10-27-2007, 11:26 PM
This better be tool porn! :D

10-28-2007, 12:40 AM
This better be tool porn! :D

Hi Michael.

I sure do hope that he gets his pic(k?) with his "It" in it and not the other way round as that would really "fix" "it" up.

10-28-2007, 12:41 AM
If viagra isn't enough of a fix it probably isn't a tool problem.

10-28-2007, 12:46 AM
If viagra isn't enough of a fix it probably isn't a tool problem.

Perhaps it is if he is attempting the HSM version of the "Alchemist's dream" (turning lead into gold) by turning (see, it is not OT) HSS or carbon steel into T.C.

10-28-2007, 08:35 AM
Don't know what all this is about, but since I started the testosterone injections I use mine for a drift punch.
Also a convenient place to hang a welding hat.
Also as a kickstand to stop me rolling out of bed.

10-28-2007, 09:19 AM
Time to roll up the pantlegs, it starting to get really deep in here.

Alistair Hosie
10-28-2007, 10:28 AM
Hey Dave they tell me you don't need a tripod when taking photographs :DAlistair

10-28-2007, 11:36 AM
Thought it was going to be a "John Bobbit" joke. Some thing about a medical procedure called an "Adadicktome Operation"

10-28-2007, 12:01 PM
This thread is sad.

This won't help. :D


10-28-2007, 01:05 PM
Linking to your D drive isn't going to work.

too funny. :D

10-28-2007, 08:23 PM
Originally Posted by Evan
Linking to your D drive isn't going to work.

too funny. :D

Rename "D" > "Sex"?

Well, I presumed the intent of the "Viagra" etc. was to get "Sex Drive" "up" and "running".

I was only trying to help.

10-28-2007, 09:16 PM
OKAY.. guys my luck has been so bad, if it was raining pussies, I'd catch one with a dick in it.

It'll get better. I am halfway to my next shot of testosterone. From someone who lived on adrenalin the first 3/4 of my life?

I learned to ride a bicycle by coasting it down a hill, using a tree to stop, I killed the tree. I rode my Panhead and used a transfer truck to stop it. Damn near killed me. I ran a built engine honda off the road, killed a whole path of small trees in the Chickamauga battlefield.. you can still see the path I bulldozed.

No kidding about the testosterone thou. ALL men go through middle age changes. I feel more than 10 years younger. Perhaps the trick to the "health clinic" in Mexico for $2500 will make you feel ten years younger. I got syringes and a bottle of that junk.

john hobdeclipe
10-28-2007, 09:40 PM
Is just what I needed after deleting about a hundred spam emails targeting the dickally disadvantaged, plus a few aimed at the boobally bereft.

10-28-2007, 11:45 PM
If you've got the need, the money, the car and everything but "that" try "this" (posted previously):

and then perhaps you will end up like this:

And perhaps if you got less spam mail and got more sperm mail (male(??)) instead you'd find the "solution" real close - in your hand.

Norman Atkinson
10-30-2007, 06:53 AM
After my recent 'lockings' and bol- lockings, this should do it- again.

One needs the three in one treatment. What is the 3 in 1 treatment?
It is a bit drastic but heigh ho. It's a mixture inserted by large syringe firmly into the base.

What is the mixture? Well, 3 of sand to one of Portland cement.

When you are buried, it it necessary to have a top hat on the top of the coffin lid.


10-30-2007, 07:12 AM
when you were a teenager and you shimmied up the flag pole... then daren`t come back down until you had subsided?? Or that bus motion as you travelled into town?? No? Oh well, thank goodness for self control aye.

10-30-2007, 08:07 AM
The possibilities are endless.


John Stevenson
10-30-2007, 09:17 AM

Now I have somewhere to park my bike................


10-30-2007, 09:44 AM
Now I have somewhere to park my bike................


Are really Benny Hill hiding under the John Stevenson alias? :D

10-30-2007, 11:30 AM
God has a sense of hUmor.. Is this as good as it gets?

After cooking the finest biscuits I have ever had, the best gravy, the finest home made jam. I sat there rubbing my protuberance tummy watching my overweight dog clean up the biscuits and gravy, lick the skillet, whine for more. These cool mornings he crawls quietly up into bed with me, snuggles up to the electric blanket and snores.

He's a real killer, Yesterday I had this squirrel dropping nuts on my metal building, I tolerated it for about a hour, till the twitch set in. I pulled the "tiny" 22 beretta out and SHOT that sob right in the head at 70 feet out of the tree. I am not sure who was more surprised Him or me. I let Lex the dog smell the squirrel, He looked me right in the eyes and thought, What do you want me to do with that? Make me some bacon grease dumplings and I might eat it then if you season it right.

So, I am full, happy, warm, petting the full dog. Is this the climax of life?

Sex is much over rated. If I was to start over, I'd get myself neutered at 18.

I wish all you happiness, including the girl with the rubber backbone. Gee, reckon she got like that in the back seat of a 67 mustang?

Norman Atkinson
10-30-2007, 12:09 PM
ERB, correction!

Not the late Benny Hill but Billy Connolly who did the bike shed sketch!

'Tis I who confesses to Matron who is in the Italian Job. After all, I do live in the grounds of a mental institution. I have done the bus scene on the edge of road on the mountain side. I did live to tell the tale. Rowan Atkinson does creep in but that has to be because he was born on a farm and I actually live in one- in the nut house. The Atkinsons- mine and his- lived in a tiny village on the borders of Northumberland and Durham. I can only guess whether they pee'd in the same pot.

My wife is quite another matter. She CAN claim to be related to the real Alice in Wonderland----- and had a castle. Christine, bless her cotton socks and gym slip, was boss over several matrons- and me.

10-30-2007, 01:22 PM
ERB, correction!

Not the late Benny Hill but Billy Connolly who did the bike shed sketch!

Apologies. I recalled seeing a skit on the Benny Hill Show way back when where he (Benny) or his sidekick (the short bald heaeded guy Benny would always pat on the head) parked thier bicycles in the you know where on a statue.

Norman Atkinson
10-30-2007, 01:52 PM
You may well be right and I apologise unreservedly.
It was a time when humour was humour and keeping track was nigh impossible.

I kept racking my brains for cycle sketches and recalled so many.
Thanks for many a private( oops) chuckle.


10-30-2007, 07:35 PM
This came in by email recently.

So by defintion anyone on here will only get ann "M"

Frightening - ain't it?

Read on.

A mother is driving a little girl to her friend's house for a play date.

"Mommy," the little girl asks, "how old are you?"

"Honey, you are not supposed to ask a lady her age," the mother replied.

"It's not polite."

"OK", the little girl says, "How much do you weigh?"

"Now really," the mother says, "those are personal questions and are really none of your business."

Undaunted, the little girl asks, "Why did you and Daddy get a divorce?"

"That is enough questions, young lady, honestly!"

The exasperated mother walks away as the two friends begin to play.

"My Mom won't tell me anything about her," the little girl says to her friend.

"Well," says the friend, "all you need to do is look at her drivers license. It is like a report card, it has everything on it."

Later that night the little girl says to her mother, "I know how old you are, you are 32."

The mother is surprised and asks, "How did you find that out?

"I also know that you weigh 140 pounds."

The mother is past surprised and shocked now. "How in heaven's name did you find that out?"

"And," the little girl says triumphantly,"I know why you and daddy got a divorce."

"Oh really?" the mother asks. "Why?"

"Because you got an F in sex."

And another:

A 3-year-old boy examined his testicles while taking a bath.

"Mummy", he asked, "Are these my brains?"

"Not yet," she replied.

************************************************** ****
And one for all those that use "Smileys" and "emoticoins":

We all know those cute little computer symbols called "emoticons," where:
:) means a smile and
:( is a frown.

Sometimes these are represented by


Well, how about some "ASS-ICONS"?
Here goes:

(_!_) a regular ass

(__!__) a fat ass

(!) a tight ass

(_*_) a sore ass

{_!_} a swishy ass

(_O_) an ass that's been around

(_x_) kiss my ass

(_X_) leave my ass alone

(_zzz_) a tired ass

(_E=mc2_) a smart ass

(_$_) Money coming out of his ass

(_?_) Dumb Ass

You have just been E-mooned!


And one for the real/nearly (over 50-ish??) brigade.