View Full Version : I am too fat please help????

Alistair Hosie
05-16-2008, 03:40 PM
I suffer from blatant fatness please look kindly upon me and donate all the tools a fat person might need and Although being fat is not regarded as being of regristratable charity stateness.
I hearby make it so.
All you fattys join me and I will get you what you need.Being fat is also a costly business to maintain as the large steaks sometimes need gallons of wine and beer to slither them lubricatingly down the old channel froat in London blarney. so cash will also be needed. No nearly fatties will do you must be serious to join big al's charity staus gang.So gentlemen please send me a new lathe milling machine and surface grinder tool grinder etc etc.yours in deperate need Alistair please no fat blind people

Quetico Bob
05-16-2008, 03:58 PM
Would a couple of frozen deer roasts help? Could ship them express or if you prefere jerky will send snail mail. Would like to help out with the machinery but seeing as I've only had it for a while I'm still in love and talking to it. Is that normal??

Alistair Hosie
05-16-2008, 04:01 PM
If you lived in Scotland that'd be prefectly normal as we don't drink the water of life for lonelinesss:DAlistair if you start kissing one of your machines I'd see a doctor though don't forget the chocolates and flowers first there's such a thing as foreplay:DAlistair

05-16-2008, 04:11 PM
I've known several people who have recieved a
"crazy check" from SSI since I was young.. all the time they ride from place to place on Harleys and drink, and live fine. While I worked and paid taxes.

I was climbing a radio tower in the freezing cold.. kinda windy... and was thinking as I saw one ride by.. gee who is crazy? His nick was Housecat.. never leaves the house. He was a vietnam vet, they refused to give him a crazy check, he burned the rental house he was in.. when he got turned loose, there it was..

I think we'd both do better with a crazy check than a fat-check.. SSI does not give out fat checks till you hit 500lbs I think.. and you can't have fun at 500lbs.. I am not sure you could even unzip yourself at that weight.

Anyways, I am not fat... just pleasantly plump.. My dog, now he's fat.. We had him modified into a enuch.

Alistair Hosie
05-16-2008, 04:42 PM
My dog, now he's fat.. We had him modified into a enuch.
well Dave as before you pose the answer to all my problems perhaps I should follow your wee doggie and get a bolloff and willey snip.You think I could get the blind begger to do it once he get's his oxy acetyline torch???:DAlistair

Quetico Bob
05-16-2008, 04:51 PM
Thanks Scottie, guess I won't be around for a while. Going to check myself in before I get caught(kissing thing) but don't tell anyone.
Guess thats what you get for trying to help out. Let me know on the deer before I'm commited.

05-16-2008, 05:42 PM
I'd start worrying about being fat - not just for health reasons - but the environmentalist nut jobs are saying you all (me included) are leaving a larger carbon footprint due to excess fuel costs of hauling big butts around. I myself am very concerned about this and will give it some thought as I get in my 8 cylinder 22 year old Cadillac and get some take out tonight before stopping at the liquor store:) Oh - if that charity thing takes off - I need a Rockwell Hardness Tester and a heat treating oven.


05-16-2008, 05:46 PM
Meep meep.. LEV #2,

05-16-2008, 06:36 PM
I am NOT fat, I am "fluffy"

05-16-2008, 08:10 PM
I'm not fat, I'm just undertall for my weight!

Montezuma, IA

05-16-2008, 08:54 PM
I'm voting for Alistair.

05-16-2008, 09:12 PM
how come the fatties get all of the attention?!?!?!?!
i'm a scrawny guy. i can't even go outside in a light breeze lest i get blown away. in fact, if i run my lathe at more than 200 RPM the wind from the chuck pushes me too far away to run the controls. i really need some CNC equipment donated to me so i can sit behind a computer screen and program the machine from afar without getting blown across the room.

also, i need some custom-tailored clothes. anything i buy that fits the length of my arms is big enough to stick five of me in the chest area. PLEASE HELP BY SENDING ME FREE STUFF!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

andy b.

Tim Clarke
05-16-2008, 09:51 PM
Was to the doctor today. BP is down, Choleresterol is down, Stress at work is down. Rewarding self with a few bottles of favorite brew. It's unseasonably hot here, wishing for Alistair style kilt for coolness. Need to take the little dog for his excersise, the old guy needs it. For that matter, so does the dog.

I like threads like these, friendly and with humor. A refreshing change, thanks Alistair.


05-16-2008, 09:57 PM
Meep meep.. LEV #2,

David,where is the one for the other foot?;) :D

05-16-2008, 10:34 PM
Darin.. that would be the home made el camino pivic or..

Darin.. the pivic has one rear fender now..
Do you know this guy?