View Full Version : Waaay OT: Have you ever been THAT scared?

08-17-2008, 04:44 PM
Watching the NASCAR race today, the commontaters made several references to drivers having to clean out their shorts after a close call of one sort or another.

Does that ever really happen? I've heard references to it alll my life, but I've never experienced it or known anyone who admitted to having it happen to them. Old wives tale?


08-17-2008, 04:51 PM
I have been in a crash that sent me through the windsheild, I did not crap myself. We lost all our brakes in a old motor home and crashed it at the bottom of a big hill.

Its an old wives tale.

A.K. Boomer
08-17-2008, 04:53 PM
Old wives tale or loose sphincter --- not to over analyze the situation (no pun intended) but I would think it works the opposite, like Iv been in the air on my Mt. bike or in crazy white water in my kayak and believe I could probably hold back 40 psi in situations like that.

John Stevenson
08-17-2008, 04:54 PM
How can you crap yourself when your arse is gripped tighter than a hydraulic Kurt vise ?


08-17-2008, 04:54 PM
Close calls that you can't see coming won't do it to you. Its the scenario when you can see about 1500 chicoms running from bush to bush and heading your way. That's when your sphincters start talking to you.

08-17-2008, 05:34 PM
I think you pee first. Then you poop.

pee pee pee pee, poop poop poop poop


doctor demo
08-17-2008, 05:40 PM
You can sh*t Your friends.
You can sh*t Your pants.
But You can't sh*t Your friend's pants:D .


08-17-2008, 05:50 PM
Front rotor shattered and pulled caliper into wheel at 150 mph on the straight at race city in Calgary. Wheel locked and I went for a spin into the rhubarb. No other personal accident. I think the only way you would poop your pants is if you are knocked unconscious and relax, otherwise it's probably impossible Peter

Michael Edwards
08-17-2008, 06:06 PM
Does that ever really happen?



Poor bastid.


08-17-2008, 06:07 PM
IIRC a spinal injury will make a person lose control,but I never heard of anybody being scared into it.

08-17-2008, 07:01 PM
A long time ago I lost the front brakes through fade on my brand new 400 Bandit trying to keep up with a mate on a GPZ900R going down the switchbacks on the Cheshire side of the Cat & Fiddle Pass.
Wobbly legs at the bottom but nothing unexbected out of the bottom :D
I'm still buying good tyres that stick and not worrying about how long they last,

08-17-2008, 07:03 PM
I've done it.

I was praying in front of the porcelain throne...praying so hard that I not vomit.

Then without warning, the fear of god instilled itself in me...I tried to rearrange my rear closer to the recepticle, but when I did, I shat myself, and the wall in the bathroom.

It happens, and it aint pretty when it does.

I now carry an extra pair of underwear whenever I go anywhere.

08-17-2008, 07:57 PM
Hahaha - Maybe I shouldn't laugh, but you cracked me up Snowman. I've been in a similiar situation, I made it ontop the throne on time, though.

I did a research paper on fear last semester. The effect described does occassionally happen. It often happens in conjunction with brachycardia as brockley suggested. Somewhere in the half-conscious state, the victim may involuntary tense the abdomen and loose control of their bowel.

I guess I could maybe see it happening to drivers. In a moment of extreme fear combined with a "tensing" reaction could cause it. An actual crash happens to quick, but when approaching an accident or driving through the smoke might... maybe?

08-17-2008, 08:21 PM
I was riding on a twisty road with a friend one day, and we had pulled over for a break. Two guys went past on rotch crockets doing about 450 mph- or something like that. We got back on the highway and found that it soon turned into a couple of tight esses. At the next rest stop were these two retarded morons, one of whom had pizzed his pants. Have no idea whether he shat them as well, and I didn't care to know. I hope so. They both deserved to have diarhea filling their boots.

My dad once told a joke, I can't remember what it was. Anyway one of our guests laughed so hard that he peed himself. As he described it he shat a little as well. To us kids at the time, that was funnier than the joke.

08-17-2008, 08:44 PM
My dad once told a joke, I can't remember what it was. Anyway one of our guests laughed so hard that he peed himself. As he described it he shat a little as well. To us kids at the time, that was funnier than the joke.
Darryl...that is too funny! I was just going to tell of the same thing.
We were standing around a bonfire...50 miles out in the bush. Waiting for daylight so we could go to work (logging). One of the guys was telling a joke...it was hilarious. but not as funny as the poor bugger who laughed so hard he crapped himself.
It was -35C...nobody would let him back into the pickups...so..out in the snow for a cleanup...yuch!
That story is still told 30 years after :D

08-17-2008, 09:02 PM
well , i dont suppose the folks a Mythbusters will take this one up................

08-17-2008, 09:44 PM
LOL, Too funny!!!

Ok, after 20 years as a deputy sheriff out in Los Angeles county I have seen a many crappy incidences, not fun..

Lets see, yup, when folks die alot of times they will loose it. On some calls where the deceased was elderly, or not, and its a fresh departure (meaning not called in by the neighbors for other smells of a decaying body) the first smell to hit the horn was POO.. Yup, they gave their last "hello" in the way of a evacuation.

On some traffic collisions (seen way too many, not a good place in my memory) where the dearly departed lost their bowel matter, went mostly unnoticed though, do to the other loss of body fluids, you know, brain matter and entire intestines and all.

Then the suicides. Yup, they loose it too, dunno if they dumped before or after the deed.. What a shame..

Now!! As far as soiling the shorts while still alive?? I have never been so traumatized to let her go.. LOL Like others have said, I think I pucker up and hang on!!

But there was one time where my partner was driving, I was book man, we were rolling code-3, red lights and siren to a burning house. It was raining down HARD (weird how many of our burning houses were during a rain storm?).. And he was peddle to the metal on PCH. The road was thick with water and he wanted to go 100 mph, you know, possible victims burning.

I would have crapped myself and all over the car to just get him to slow down... But no, good ol Jonnie just plowed down the road, I was crappin, internally LOL

I think some animals (Us included) will go with the fight or flight deal. And part of the "fight" is to crap the fighting scene to dissuade the predator from wanting to mix in the poo.. Haaa.. Dunno, it would work for me if I was a predator, oooh, not going into that poo factory LOL JR

I've done it.

I was praying in front of the porcelain throne...praying so hard that I not vomit.

Then without warning, the fear of god instilled itself in me...I tried to rearrange my rear closer to the recepticle, but when I did, I shat myself, and the wall in the bathroom.

It happens, and it aint pretty when it does.

I now carry an extra pair of underwear whenever I go anywhere.

08-18-2008, 12:13 AM
you guys are too funny. Russ, i'd start giggling every time i thought about the guy .....how could he every live it donw, that would be one he'd have to move over. sure it wasn't you?? :D:D, um, i've got this,you know, friend, and......

08-18-2008, 02:23 AM
Got me thinkin now. What about pilots? I'll bet there's one or two that walk funny after leaving the plane, and not because they have sea legs. What's in those flight suits ayway- rubber funnels with drawstrings for the dangler and an exhaust hose- hmmm- intermittent wipers with self-activating handi-wipes for the uh, business end?

08-18-2008, 04:41 AM
About 40 years ago I was an iron worker working on a water treatment plant some where near San Francisco. I was unloading bundles of rebar that had to be brought down to the pit by crane. I had just unhooked one bundle and signaled the operator that all was clear.. up went the hook and caught my left hand glove.. heavy canvas glove that covered the hand down past the wrist. Anyway, up I went to what seemed like 100' feet in the air.. probably no higher than 10' before that Forty Niner saw me dangling on the hook trying to grab onto the cable with my other hand.

As I was lowered the glove ripped and I fell to the mat. People were shouting and waving their arms and this commotion got the attention of the foreman. He walked over to me and said"go into my trailer, look in the 3rd drawer in my desk and you'll find a bottle of bourban.. take a swig, clean out your shorts and get back to work". I did what I was told.. found the bottle, took a swig or two, checked my shorts as instructed and finding them relatively clean went back to work.

08-18-2008, 06:28 AM
Perhaps the legend comes from a rescue squad guy that was at an accident where the person was dead and had crapped himself due to total relaxation when death sets in, it's just a thought.

A.K. Boomer
08-18-2008, 10:48 AM
Lets see, yup, when folks die alot of times they will loose it.

Boy we cover about everything here, Just when you think the topic couldnt get any stranger - allow me,,,

"losing it" in the way were talking about "losing it" isnt the only way one can lose it when one expires,,,
For some reason death by oxygen deprivation brings on some very bizarre effects, ever feel sorry for those little gazelles when they get caught by a lion and get their throat clamped off? dont - after the initial struggle they are in pig heaven, I speak from experience as we actually were stupid enough to do that to each other as kids,(dont do it as it kills brain cells by the millions, yes yes yes -- thats what happened to me) Its totally amazing to say the least and a few times it went into a very sexually stimulating experience, One of my friends and his two sisters did it to each other and I swore that his sisters "did things to me" when I was out, Now I know better as there is actually an "epidemic" across the country of kids doing this, They do it just for this reason, except some do it to themselves and the danger factor goes up 100 fold, yup - mommy and daddy come home to find little johny hanging in the master bedroom closet with one of dadys ties, whats really confusing to the parents is he's got his pee-pee in his hand, I bring this up to you all because If i had kids I would want to be aware of it, Its not something that gets much publicity as its such an embarrassing thing for the family - it gets hushed up and awareness gets muted...
I knew a guy in my little town who died this way except his parents pulled into their drive at night and found him that way in the front yard tree,
Later in life I take up white water kayaking and find out from the search and rescue guys who iv come to know and even aided in the occasional search that many of time when they retrieve a kayaker that is wearing a drysuit they will find a "load" in his pants, not a poop load but a fun load --- most times when a kayaker dies it is due to lack of oxygen...

08-18-2008, 12:00 PM
"What's in those flight suits ayway- rubber funnels with drawstrings for the dangler and an exhaust hose"

hehe, must tell you a story about a RAF pilot mate of mine, used to fly a Westland Whirlwind over the North Sea. Nurse friend of his supplied him with a "tube and bag". Duly attached under his flying suit ("gumby suit" in those waters).
Crew wondered how he could happily do a 6-7 hour flight, drinking tea and coffee. The man smiled enigmatically :)

Those of you who have ever seen a Whirlwind will, by now be smiling.
They are a double decker. The pilot has to climb down a ladder, through a small hatchway, to get to the lower deck then the ground.
During this, the pilots knee must rise above his hip.
Contents of bag arrive at waist level in suit.
Upon regaining level deck, or ground, contents of bag are now swilling around the legs/boots of his gumby suit.

Aforementioned pilot is now less than happy. He has to wait several hours on the ground for refuelling, on some god-forsaken island in the North Sea, then pick up a trawlerman with appendicitis (or similar emergency).

Pilot is now thoroughly unhappy with nurse girlfriend.

Could I make up a story like that? :D

Tim The Grim
08-18-2008, 03:26 PM
Back in the mid 70's, I got a call from a neighbor that she saw flashlights way back in our yard by the brook. I looked out and could see them too. I loaded up a dummy round in my black powder pistol . I Put it in my belt behind my back and went to take a look. It was a dark moonless night in the fall. I found 3 guys setting leg hold traps in the brook and told them to take their stuff and not come back. They gave me some bull about the energy crisis and needing real furs because synthetic furs needed oil to produce. I heard a twig snap behind me and then the words "Get him". I discharged the pistol towards the ground and the black powder made a huge flash and boom. Immediately after there was a tremendous "fart" noise and the words " Oh no !" from one of the guys as they ran off leaving there traps and rucksacks behind.
I have 55 years of farting experience and know that wasn't only gas in his drawers.

I was also in a small tornado while camping in eastern PA. I saw the mesocyclone forming and then the tarp I was under blew down and held me under it face first in the dirt for a good 2 to 3 minutes. There was all kinds of noise and I could not move as I was held down so tight. When I got out from under it a guy was getting out of his little Toyota pickup. He had Sh*t his pants as the tornado want past about 200 feet away. The seat of the truck had stains as well.

08-18-2008, 03:52 PM
"Fight or Flight" a.k.a. the sympathetic nervous system. Releases adrenalin, dilates pupils, increases heart rate and contractility, constricts blood vessels, dilates bronchioles to get more air exchange with the ol' furnace, and allows you to run faster than you can run, jump higher than you can jump, and lift more than you can lift.

"Feed or Breed" a.k.a. the parasympathetic nervous system. Shuts down adrenalin pumps, constricts pupils, causes relaxation, visceral activity such as peristalsis, dilates blood vessels and makes the ol' lady happy.

These are opposing systems and they do not function simultaneously without disease, illness or injury.

(...old burnt out paramedic contributes to the really useless info file :D )

08-18-2008, 08:39 PM
Once I was charged by 4 brown bears (at once- sow & 3 3 year olds)- you couldn't have driven a needle up there with a 20Lb sledge, but everyone always asks if I shat myself.

loose nut
08-18-2008, 09:40 PM
Thirty some years ago I was on a destroyer, in the middle of the Augean (thats the ocean to you pollywog's), in the middle of the night, in the middle of a bitch of a storm, about 10' from the side of the ship. We were beam to the swell and the ship rolled "dramatically"' to the port side were upon I slide down the deck and went head first over the railing. I did manage to grab the top of the guard rail and then the ship rolled back to starboard and I was flipped back onto the deck. It was so dark you couldn't see your hand in front of your face and I was spun around so much, I didn't know which way was to the bow or the quarterdeck. Going into the water would have meant being sucked into the props and becoming fish food.

Definitely hard on the shorts.

Cheap Jon
08-18-2008, 10:24 PM
On a hunting trip to Colorado a guy slid down a incline in a VW dune buggy, coming to a stop hanging on the edge of a 50 foot drop. We went to see it and hanging in the brush at the bottom was his brown and white shorts.

08-18-2008, 10:55 PM
Driving in the woods one day, and my friend says STOP- NOW! He clambers out and hobbles off behind a tree. Nature not only called, it shouted (scared the crap out of him I guess). Anyway, time passes, we're wondering whatever happened to him, he comes back. He's all teed off and peels off a sock and tosses it out the window. Says 'no good having only one sock- that was an expensive pair too'. Then he says 'WAIT- (goes and gets it) what if I need that one too". I think we came close to one of us needing it instead.

Your Old Dog
08-19-2008, 08:23 AM
I tried to avoid a cow on my motorcycle but we were somehow in sync. I took him just behind the front left leg at 50 mph. I stood up just prior to impact and blacked out when the headlight was about 1" from his shoulder. The last thing I said before impact was "ah $h1t" He must have thought I was talking to him as the right side of the bike was caked in cow ****, even up under the seat. My shorts were clean and the world was real quiet and peaceful for the rest of the day. The next day I could hardly move I was so sore!!

I never drive when my bladder is full as I've been told it can burst on impact and then you got real problems. When I have to leak, I do. Everyone else in the car hates that about me as it stinks like hell :D

08-19-2008, 10:21 AM
I never drive when my bladder is full as I've been told it can burst on impact and then you got real problems.

One night we were called out to a really bad car wreck. It was Saturday night and everybody had been beering it up. After all the smoke cleared and the blood dried, the biggest piece of one guy's bladder was the size of a nickel. He didn't survive.

That was back in the days when anyone with a driver's license could run an ambulance service. Times have changed.


08-22-2008, 06:13 PM
I was at some military-type show standing next to one the M-1 Abrahms tanks talking to one of the tank crew. Some how the topic got around :rolleyes: to doing yer thang while in the tank. Basically in the heat of battle and nature calls, the guy said you just do it in your shorts and continue on. Recounted some story of guys in a jeep or the like leaving a battle area. One of the guys insisted on getting out to do the #2 against the extremely strong advice of the others in the vehicle while fleeing the area. Needless to say that guy never got back.

When ya gotta go, ya gotta go, no matter what it takes ...

A.K. Boomer
08-22-2008, 06:27 PM
There's some bicycle races where they are grueling and continues -- some are so involved that they dont stop for nothing -- I mean nothing, You can count me out, thats not racing, thats disgusting.