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Alistair Hosie
02-08-2010, 12:49 PM
Wanted urgently BY old chancer/ engineer 2 monarch lathes and large-ish must be as new condition bridgeport milling machine with tooling this must be in immaculate condition and also must be free perhaps you could deliver and set them up must have all tooling and extra chucks must be with it I am willing to offer a free cup of tea to the giver and delivery men.PS Must have lates 3 phase invertor as I don't have 3 phase. also any money you could spare to get me up and running would be acceptable please no small bills.Lord Hosie of the chancery department.

Alistair Hosie
02-08-2010, 12:50 PM
Wow this has been up nearly five minutes and no replies have you guys no hearts.Disgusted at waiting Lord Hosie

lakeside53
02-08-2010, 12:55 PM
Sorry.. I was blue and I'm gasping for breath, and desperately trying to intercept all messages heading your way. I already bribed all the delivery guys in your area. That was easy - I offered booze instead of tea.

Black_Moons
02-08-2010, 01:02 PM
I don't think you should be doing so many drugs first thing in the morning alistair :eek:

lakeside53
02-08-2010, 01:09 PM
It not 'morning" where he is ... well, might be very early morning, or very late at night depending on your view.

Tony Ennis
02-08-2010, 01:10 PM
I must respectfully apologize to His Lordship on behalf of the entire state of Kentucky. We are fresh out of all Monarch lathes, having delivered the last one to some sod up in British Columbia just last week. In fact, while I am embarrassed to admit it, all we have is one Pacemaker still in its original shipping crate and a few palettes of spares and tooling, also in a sorry state of never having been used.

Again, I apologize.

With Humility, Your Obedient Servant, &tc
Tony

David Powell
02-08-2010, 01:22 PM
After a miserable week of discomfort ,medicine and painkillers to try to cure my shingles. Dreamland is a wonderful place, you never bore 5 thous too big, turn 5 thous too small nor get a b------- thread. The real problem is that when you wake up you realise that everything you dreamed has vanished and all the jobs that were waiting before are still waiting. I wish the gremlins who live in my shop would help out and do something useful while I am laid up. Only those who have been there know how we feel. Cheer up, maybe I will dream I am delivering a new Standard Modern to you, and I get a good holiday in Scotland as a reward. Best wishes David Powell.

gnm109
02-08-2010, 02:03 PM
Sorry, I had two new Hardinge machines in the crate left over from WWII but since you wanted Monarchs, I sent them to scrap.

:)

Alistair Hosie
02-08-2010, 04:07 PM
Look if any of my good friends come to Scotland I hope they come overnight here for a day or two. Now the machines when?Are? they? arriving?:DAlistair ps seriously we have had a few of these deliberately begging letters on some wood sight's I frequent from time to time .Actual guys in wheel chairs who are too frail hardly to move,asking for everything from machines to tools and even one guy who was blind asking If I remember for burning gear so tongue in cheek my humour may be but there are some real cowboys out there keep young guys.Alistair er lord Alistair

oil mac
02-08-2010, 04:35 PM
Damn!
I just sent a lease lend Monarch Which i had lying in a crate , My mum bought me it, for my 7th birthday, ex Ministry of Supply, + a Bridgeport i recieved for my 21 st Birthday, &i never played with to a guy in Africa, who requested all my bank details, for a get rich quick money system,
The guy is pretty fair, he is sending me his surplus two wives &four camels to mow down my lawn You should have told me earlier!

The Artful Bodger
02-08-2010, 04:38 PM
Here you are m'lord:-

http://www.seafriends.org.nz/enviro/Soil/wind1.jpg

Iron sand beach, just wait while some of this makes its way to China then you can have nice new Chinese lathes and mills etc. Wait a little longer and you will have worn out lathes and mills as much desired among home machinists.

camdigger
02-08-2010, 04:44 PM
I just got this in an email. Is he a relative of yours Lord Hosie??

I am Festus Annan by name and a Liberian living in Ghana and I am also a refugee at the Anglican Less Privileged Home Foundation where I am lucky enough to get a scholarship to study in the government junior high school.

I am writing you because I have three Locket boxes containing Alluvial Gold worth 30 Million USD worth and they are now in London because of my foreign beneficiary is not worthy to complete this transaction.

We have already spend 8000 pound to release and have the delivery of the boxes to him in West Ham London but then the diplomat had a problem when he arrived at the Heathrow Airport and was stopped because on that very day President Obama arrived there and all Airports last year April 2009. Railways, Airports and boarders where closed, so since then we have been looking for him to after he had the report the the diplomat was held at the airport.

We do not get him on phone and no reply from him since then until this day, and now we have to act fast so that you can help me receive these boxes and we share the benefit together amongst ourselves.

The Diplomat is there in UK and I like you to call him you can call him on this number +8 and ask him what we need to do so you can hear for yourself. Or rather send him an email on: ojul84@gmail.com

We only need to send GHS4, 800 Cedis and converted in dollars is US$4000 to get the documents that we need to send to the diplomat so that he can re-direct the boxes to you anywhere you wish to receive it only on one condition that you will be my partner and together we shall invest in a find business.

Please write me as soon as you can because I am now writing my final exams and I wish to continue in the states with your advice this is where I wish you to write me and ask me any question.

Thank you very much.

Festus M. Annan.
Tel: 00233543034076.


Quite frankly, I hope Festus gets a few dozen calls with the charges reversed, it might give him something to do other than fill my inbox....

Alistair Hosie
02-08-2010, 04:48 PM
NO he's Evans Brother still out there in Africa dodgin the vietnam war he thinks the war is still going:DAlistair

Oldbrock
02-08-2010, 06:32 PM
Alistaire, you might get some more positive responses if there are a couple of bottles of 15 yr single malt waiting. Peter

john hobdeclipe
02-08-2010, 06:43 PM
... all we have is one Pacemaker still in its original shipping crate ...

Does Fastrack know about this?

John Stevenson
02-08-2010, 06:49 PM
Scrounging bastard, now you can see why we built Hadrians wall to keep them in................................

Weston Bye
02-08-2010, 06:56 PM
Look if any of my good friends come to Scotland I hope they come overnight here for a day or two... .. lord Alistair

Only a day or two?

Was it you who invented the expression "Guests and dead fish start to smell after three days"?

Remember, "Being a good host is making your guests feel at home, even when you wish they were."