PDA

View Full Version : OT: Friends



Liger Zero
09-20-2010, 12:46 AM
This'll likely be closed but I just want to say something real quick before I try to get some sleep.

I have a friend. We go way back... through the middle grades and then onto high-school... and we went our separate ways but kept in touch. Facebook allowed us to keep up on the latest bullsh|t and chat on occasion.

Through it all she has been something of an inspiration to me, I figured if I could do half as well as her I'd be doing pretty good. And I was right... up to tonight.

Tonight it all came apart on her. She's in the hospital now... papers have been signed and eventually they'll figure out what's happening in there.

Pretty scary to see someone come apart like that... on the other hand it's also pretty awesome that the internet and text-messaging and portable cellphones allowed us to keep in touch and work through this right up until the moment they checked her in.


Going to be a long night. I'll be up for awhile pondering this. Little bit shaken up, not easy watching a friend fall apart like this...

Normally I'd have something witty to say in closing but I got nothing this time, I'm that shaken up by this.

EddyCurr
09-20-2010, 02:04 AM
Friendship means thick and thin, right?

Doesn't end here ...

There is the prospect that matters will right themselves and she will
return to her former/future self.

.

Liger Zero
09-20-2010, 02:54 AM
I have no doubt she will recover from this.

Just watching her come apart... that's the scary part. Given me alot to think about as I go forward with my business and with my family and all that.

toolmaker76
09-20-2010, 03:06 AM
Come apart....going on in there.....hospital.....sounds like a mental health issue.

Someone dear to me suffers similarly. This is not something she would choose for herself, to say the least. Can't say that she is weak- she possesses a lot of strength if the truth be told. Sometimes life hands us more than we can handle.

That being said, it amazes me how wonderful and complex is the human brain. It is a wonder that we all don't "come apart" now and then. Sounds to me like your friend needs a friend now more than ever. Been through the hospitalization routine.

I wish the best for you and your friend, and will offer up prayers as well.

A.K. Boomer
09-20-2010, 03:36 AM
She sounds intelligent - that can be a problem, on the flip side ignorance may be bliss --- but only for awhile.

Good luck to you and your buddy, it means the world to her that your still keeping in touch, you may need to a little more due to her time frame being distorted...

Liger Zero
09-20-2010, 07:04 AM
Come apart....going on in there.....hospital.....sounds like a mental health issue.

Yep.

Sadly our system treats the symptoms with pills rather than trying to solve the underlying "programming faults" if you will.

It's better to take a couple Xanax and go back to your routine... than it is to face the REAL problem and fix the REAL problem.


When you give 120% day in day out for 15 years while those around you give less than 33%, coupled with the fact that you take little time to actually cut lose and have FUN with people.... it can set one off. Of course that drive to give 120% every god-damn day is a symptom too...

PixMan
09-20-2010, 07:51 AM
I can tell you from the experience of someone very close to me that recovery is quite possible. It doesn't happen fast, but it can happen good. My loved one is now more stable, engaging and loving than ever before. I'd call it a 110% recovery.

Remain friends, remain faithful that things will work out. Most times, people do get better.

GKman
09-20-2010, 09:07 AM
Yep.

Sadly our system treats the symptoms with pills rather than trying to solve the underlying "programming faults" if you will.

It's better to take a couple Xanax and go back to your routine... than it is to face the REAL problem and fix the REAL problem.



Sometime you have to jump start a car to get it running before you can start trouble shooting.

Ken_Shea
09-20-2010, 09:34 AM
Few of us are on the outside, what we are on the inside.

A.K. Boomer
09-20-2010, 10:30 AM
Of course that drive to give 120% every god-damn day is a symptom too...



You said it, part of my new routine along with my extreme diet is learning how to relax and not feeling guilty about it...

Too_Many_Tools
09-20-2010, 01:23 PM
This'll likely be closed but I just want to say something real quick before I try to get some sleep.

I have a friend. We go way back... through the middle grades and then onto high-school... and we went our separate ways but kept in touch. Facebook allowed us to keep up on the latest bullsh|t and chat on occasion.

Through it all she has been something of an inspiration to me, I figured if I could do half as well as her I'd be doing pretty good. And I was right... up to tonight.

Tonight it all came apart on her. She's in the hospital now... papers have been signed and eventually they'll figure out what's happening in there.

Pretty scary to see someone come apart like that... on the other hand it's also pretty awesome that the internet and text-messaging and portable cellphones allowed us to keep in touch and work through this right up until the moment they checked her in.


Going to be a long night. I'll be up for awhile pondering this. Little bit shaken up, not easy watching a friend fall apart like this...

Normally I'd have something witty to say in closing but I got nothing this time, I'm that shaken up by this.

Best of luck for your friend's recovery.

Mental illiness..and it is an illiness..can happen to anyone...all trees will break when bent far enough.

Mods..if you would I would appreciate you leaving this discussion active...this discussion will help at least one person...and I suspect many more.

Again good luck with your friend's recovery.

TMT

Too_Many_Tools
09-20-2010, 01:24 PM
Few of us are on the outside, what we are on the inside.

Very wise words.

TMT

Too_Many_Tools
09-20-2010, 01:28 PM
FWIW...in the past I have sometimes found it hard to justify the time and monetary investment I have in my shops..that capital could be working for me elsewhere. My justification has been for the stress relief working in the shop brings me. When viewed in that light, the investment has been a wise one.

TMT

Dr Stan
09-20-2010, 01:52 PM
FWIW...in the past I have sometimes found it hard to justify the time and monetary investment I have in my shops..that capital could be working for me elsewhere. My justification has been for the stress relief working in the shop brings me. When viewed in that light, the investment has been a wise one.

TMT

Amen to that. Its interesting that I said similar things to my stepdaughter less than a week ago. She's an actor and understands this better than most.

A friend and fellow vet who also has PTSD and was the HR manger at a sizable local bottling company read the riot act to his plant manager a couple of weeks ago. Needless to say he is the former HR manager and the VA has added some serious meds to his schedule. So far I've been able to avoid the meds (knock on wood) as I've seen outrageous side effects. However, without the ability to physically work off some of the "stuff" hard telling where, what , or if I'd be doing anything productive.

wierdscience
09-20-2010, 08:28 PM
We should all be thankful for everyday we have health mental and physical.

I have a friend who worked for a local bolt company.Guy was sharp as a tack and really knew his business.One day he had a stroke and in a matter of minutes all that sharp intellect and ability went away.
He has since recovered from the stroke,but he has had a hard time dealing with the fact that everything which used to be easy is now very difficult:(

RussZHC
09-20-2010, 08:50 PM
1997 to 2005 are more or less "missing" and if I think about it too much, a quite real fear "it" will return.

[FYI if you want vague from the medical community, try getting something straight in the psych branch!
And, to vent, I largely put it down to what has already been mentioned, a common habit of more or different drugs are better...I am of the firm belief most of the meds could have been avoided with some one on one time with the right person...friends and family mean very well of course but most will not be equipped to handle the dark places :confused: this can lead to...]

+ many on the mods not closing thread!

Evan
09-20-2010, 09:28 PM
A sudden breakdown is reversible. Keep that in mind. It isn't the same as a life long mental ilness such as schizophrenia, OCD, Bipolar disorder or other related conditions. I know all too well what those are like as my family is afflicted with all of them. A sudden breakdown is a protective reaction to stress although it doesn't seem like it from the outside. It helps to relieve the person from what has been overwhelming responsibility of some sort. She will recover.

Anti depressants are strongly indicated and very helpful when a person is suffering from an actual chemical imbalance in the brain. They are unfortunately very frequently prescribed without regard to the existence of such a condition in which case they are entirely inappropriate. In my case I am chronically short of serotonin and dopamine which is a known factor in FMS. Without the serotonin reuptake inhibitor (SSRI) that I take it is certain that I will slip into a pit too deep to climb out of without chemical replacement therapy. Part of this is probably exacerbated by the recently discovered iron overload which has the effect of damaging the hypothalmus and pituitary glands in the brain.

There are very real medical reasons for the use of physchoactive drugs in the treatment of what appear to be conditions that are classed as purely "mental" disturbances. There is no such thing as a purely mental condition. The brain is a physical engine and it relies on an incredibly complex mixture of chemicals that must be in the correct proportions to function properly. Those chemicals are often not in completely proper balance and reactions to outside pressure can result in stress that makes the imbalance worse. The body's reaction to stress is to overproduce some chemicals and to cut back on others. It is known as the fight or flight response and if it continues on a daily basis for a long time it can seriously disrupt the proper functioning of the brain.

Your Old Dog
09-20-2010, 09:44 PM
This puts you in a good spot to really help someone. As she starts to come around she'll need some folks who represent normalcy in her life. Just don't make the cardinal sin of telling her "it's easy, just....." . Kind of like telling someone to relax who is climbing the walls.

BigMike782
09-20-2010, 09:55 PM
It is extremely difficult to see some one slide over the edge and not be able to give them a hand.

Good luck to your friend.....I hope they can get the help they need.

sansbury
09-20-2010, 09:57 PM
Sadly our system treats the symptoms with pills rather than trying to solve the underlying "programming faults" if you will.

It's better to take a couple Xanax and go back to your routine... than it is to face the REAL problem and fix the REAL problem.

Man, it is a tough call. Some people just need a ladder so they can get over themselves. Sadness, adversity, and failure are not clinical depression, and medicating them... well, I prefer gin and bourbon for that purpose. But when your bio-chemistry is out of whack, it's really hard for me to say which part is the tail and which part is the dog. Drugging a person into semi-normalcy, sometimes that's a victory over the alternative.

Maybe with great willpower you could overcome depression, bipolar syndrome, psychosis, etc. But that feels to me a bit like saying that all you need to beat cancer is a really strong immune system. If it were that easy....

Anyway, your friend is lucky to have someone who gives a $#@!. A lot of people do a better job hanging on for someone else's sake, than for their own. But being a friend can be a thankless job sometimes when a person is in over their head.

Liger Zero
09-20-2010, 10:49 PM
She is doing better today, of course she's got a team of head-mechanics on one side and the rest of her friends and family on the other.

RobbieKnobbie
09-21-2010, 06:57 AM
...the rest of her friends and family on the other.

And that's what she reallly needs right now. Psychiatry doesn't have a great track record for recovery... pills just can't fix everything.

But a warm hand to hold and an ear to listen can.

gmatov
09-22-2010, 01:10 AM
Evan,

Amen. I argued with "psychologists" and "psychiatrists" when my 16 YO daughter became anorectic. This is not a "I want to do this." thing. It is a chemical imbalance after starving ones self. One Doctor seemed to agree, but asked what would I do? I don't know. I am a mechanic. Did they know what was lacking in the chemicals or electrolytes, perhaps they could change a young girl's life so she could function properly. I put that crudely.

Dr. Stan,

I don't like this: "I said similar things to my stepdaughter." I have daughters whom I have not fathered. I have never called any of them my "steps". They are my children, they consider me their Father, and their children are MY grandchildren. No different than my "natural" daughter nor her children.

My daughters never asked their "sperm donor" to walk them down the aisle. My sole granddaughter said that I would attend her wedding if she has to push me down the aisle in a wheel chair herself.

I look forward to being there, and if she has to do so, I will still be there. I am most fortunate with my children, except for one who passed away at the age of 32. THAT, I wish on none of you.

My prayers to your friend. I hope all turns out well with her. Kudos to you, if you are there for her. Is she near you, or are you on different Coasts? If you are many miles apart, your support is going to be sporadic and moral.

George