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Evan
07-25-2004, 06:08 PM
The Perils of Pretty Miss Poly Nomial...

Once upon a time (1/t), pretty little Polly Nomial was walking across a field of vectors, when she came to the edge of a singular sparse matrix.

Now Polly was convergent, and her mother had made it an absolute condition that she must never enter such an array without her brackets on. Polly, however, who had changed her variables that morning and was feeling particularly badly behaved, ignored this condition on the grounds that it was insufficient, and made her way amongst the complex elements.

Rows and columns enveloped her on all sides. Tangents approached her surface. She became tensor and tensor. Quite suddenly, three branches of a hyperpola toched her at a single point. She oscillated violently, lost all sense of directrix and went completley divergent. As she reached the turning point, she tripped over a square root which was protruding from the Erf and plunged headlong down a steep gradient. When she was differentiated once more, she found herself apparently alone, in a non-Euclidean space.

She was being watched, however. That smooth operator, Curly Pi, was lurking inner product. As his eyes devoured her curvilinear coordinates, a singular expression crossed his face. Was she still convergent?, he wondered? He decided to intergrate improperly at once.

Hearing a vulgar fraction behind her, Polly turned round and saw Curly Pi approching with his power series extrapolated. She could see at once, by his degenerate conic and his dissapative terms, that he was bent on no good.

"Eureka," she gasped.

"Ho, Ho!" he said. "What a symetric little polynomial you are. I can see that you are bubbling over with secs." "Calm yourself, my dear," said our suave operator, "your fears are purely imaginarey."

"I, I," she thought. "Perhaps he's homogenous then."
"What order are you?" the brute demanded.
"Seventeen," replied Polly.
Curly leered. "I suppose you've never been operated on yet?" he asked.
"Of course not," Polly cried indignantly. "I'm absolutely convergent."
"Come, come," said Curly. "Lets go off to a decimal place I know and I'll take you to the limit."

"Never," gasped Polly.

"EXCHLF!" he swore, using the vilest oath he knew. His patience was gone.

Coshing her over the coeffiecient with a log until she was powerless, Curly removed her discontinuities. He stared at her signigicant bits and began smoothing her points of inflexion. Poor Polly. All was up. She felt him tending to her asymptotic limit. Her convergence would soon be gone forever.

There was no mercy, for Curly was a Heavyside operator. He integrated by parts. He intergrated by partial fractions. The complex beast even did a contour integration. What an indignity! To be multiply connected on her first integration! Curly went on operating until he was absolutley orthogonal.

When Polly got home that evening, her mother noticed that she had been truncated in several places. It was too late to differentiate now. As time went by, Polly increased monotonically. Finally, she generated a small but pathological function which left surds all over the place until she was driven to diffraction.

The moral of this story is: If you want to keep your expressions convergent, never allow them a single degree of freedom.

Paul Alciatore
07-25-2004, 06:15 PM
Evan,

Great read. I think I saw something very similar some years ago in my college days. I will have to send it to my daughter the physics teacher.

Paul A.

John Stevenson
07-25-2004, 06:22 PM
So what was the answer ???

rockrat
07-25-2004, 08:52 PM
2

JPR
07-25-2004, 09:27 PM
Some more math fun

Using four 3's, try to arrive at an answer for each number between 1 and 20.

Example:

3/3 * 3/3 = 1
3/3 + 3/3 = 2
??? = 3
??? = 4

DR
07-25-2004, 10:01 PM
Evan,

Some people say you never forget that kind of stuff.

I sure have and I spent 5 years at Boeing working in numerical analysis.

Rich Carlstedt
07-26-2004, 12:33 AM
Thanks Evan !
The feelings are Reciprocal

Bernie Wasinger
07-26-2004, 12:56 AM
Fun reading. Thanks

Allan Waterfall
07-26-2004, 03:15 AM
Rockrat,

Are you sure 2 is correct,only I had to do it on my old abacus and unfortunately there are two beads missing on the last row.

I got 43.634962458791568.On second thought,you are probably correct.

Allan

wierdscience
07-26-2004, 07:53 AM
I still say its mathematician porn http://bbs.homeshopmachinist.net//biggrin.gif

Evan
07-26-2004, 10:34 AM
Stupid calculator trick:

12345679 X 8=

Tony
07-26-2004, 02:49 PM
in a similar vein.. i saw a mathematical proof for 'the less you know, the more money you make'

its old i think.. so correct me if i'm wrong..

premise 1: Power = Work / Time
premise 2: Knowledge = Power
premise 3: Time = Money

substituting 2 into 1 we get:
Knowledge = Work / Time

adding #3:
Knowledge = Work / Money

or, Money = Work / Knowledge

so, for the same amount of work, the less you know, the more money you make.


-tony

wierdscience
07-26-2004, 08:39 PM
That would explain people like Britney Spears and Paris Hilton http://bbs.homeshopmachinist.net//biggrin.gif