OT: A little humor for your day...

[Wayne02]

[quote]
Kinky shopper KOed by vibrating knickers

By Lester Haines
Published Wednesday 18th May 2005 12:04 GMT

The following cautionary tale must surely rate in the top five of "most embarrassing things that can happen to you in public - ever". According to UK tabloid the Sun, a 33-year-old Welsh housewife ended up in hospital after wearing Ann Summers vibrating Passion Pants to her local Asda supermarket in Swansea.

Unfortunately, she became "so aroused by the 2½-inch vibrating bullet inside that she fainted" then "fell against shelves and banged her head". This prompted the attendance of the paramedics who "found the black leatherette panties still buzzing". Having disabled the orgasmatronic underwear, they then whisked the senseless shopper to hospital where she made a complete recovery. Staff handed her back the Passion Pants upon discharge, discreetly concealed in a plastic bag.

To its credit, the Sun does not name the woman. We assume, however, that she will be shopping at her local Tesco for the next ten years or so, or until everyone in the Asda who witnessed her ordeal is dead or has succumbed to total amnesia - whichever comes soonest.

For the record, Ann Summers notes that Passion Pants are "Not for internal use". Now we know why. ®

Bootnote
Thanks to all those members of the neoLuddite Resistance Army who have written in to suggest that this is in fact another manifestation of the Rise of the Machines™. The elimination of the female of the species through vibrating panties? It's a chilling thought, but what a way to go...
[quote]
http://www.theregister.co.uk/2005/05...ting_knickers/

[ibewgypsie]

First off: Let me state I do not pierce human anatomy.

Last woman I saw get a "lower" piercing fell to her knees as she was walking to the car. I went to pick her up and she hollered leave me alone, just for a few more seconds. Dave (my now deceased neighbor and friend had pierced her)

One night while dating a young nurse, I ran my hand down into her panties.. Something dangled down onto my hand, my first thought.. Toilet paper dingleberries.. TURNED ME COMPLETELY OFF and I left. She was pierced with a dangly ring of some kind.

I'm married now. She has no extra holes god didn't put in. Me either, just six or so square feet of tattoos. Shade and moving pictures she tells people.

David

[3 Phase Lightbulb]

I think the husband would be more embarrased than the housewife...

"she became so aroused by the 2½-inch vibrating bullet inside that she fainted"..

-Adrian

[IOWOLF]

I went with a gal once who loved to ride bicycles for a date. She used to get so worked up on that bike, this made her a real handful in bed afterwords.WOW just thinking about it makes me want to pick up the phone.

[ibewgypsie]

3phase:

You don't think the pretty young girls get on the back of a harley with a old grey-toothless tattooed rider because he is cute do you..

Something about the vibrations a massive v-twin churn out.

I had a plug wire come off the panhead one night and the lil french girl nearly fell off the back.. (really makes it vibrate as one cylinder pulls)

[motorworks]

Guys
Keep it going!! This is the best ACTION I have had in months!!

[chief]

I had a girlfriend once who enjoyed all types of toys, after awhile I had her referring to them as tools and what function they performed, The auger, expansion mandrel
etc, the dresser drawer became her toolbox.
It was funny becuase at a party she would tell people she had to go to work or needed to buy more tools, The motorheads thought taught to do machine work.
I was always slightly worried that one of my low rent friends would drop by to borrow
a probe or reamer.

[ibewgypsie]

I had a old power hacksaw. I got it to working.

My wife came in and saw it stroking back and forth.. She said "that's just LEWD and Nasty"..

I laughed so hard I could not use it from then on.. I gave it away..

[John Stevenson]

Gert hosted one of those Ann Summners parties many moons ago.
I wanted to be there but was told no and banned to the workshop for the night.
That wasn't too bad but what made it better is two of my mates who's wives were also at the party came round and we had a few beers.

What really made the night though was the fact we bugged the pary with the wireless intercom.
What a hoot.
Found out sister-in -law is more interesting than she looks

Owned up after they had all gone and told Gert they had been on local radio [ one guy was local radio chief engineer ]
That made two hoots.

All these years later I still get a smile and Gert still gets mad

John S.

[ibewgypsie]

The Kinky version of the panties have a remote control "THE HUSBAND GETS" This allows him to continue to participate in thier sex life.

(HA.. young kids don't know nuffin)

My original mentor, Claude.. Vietnam vet, a korean trained black belt, Mason, Good Christian man. He had this joke he'd tell to young women. <quote.. A termite went into a bar and asked the bartender, Is the bar tender here?> I begged him to never tell that joke again. I saw him lay out cold six ironworkers one day and that was about as funny as his joke.