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Thread: for those with a dry sense of humour

  1. #1
    Join Date
    Aug 2002
    Posts
    7,825

    Default for those with a dry sense of humour

    TRY THIS ONE GUYS Alistair



    A fleeing al-Qaeda guerilla, desperate for water, was plodding through the
    desert when he saw something far off in the distance. He walked toward the
    object hoping to find water, but alas, he saw an older Jewish man at a small
    stand selling neckties.


    The Arab asked, "Do you have water?"

    The Jewish man replied, "I have no water, but would you like to buy a tie as
    they are only $5."

    The Arab shouted, "Idiot Jew! Israel should not exist! I do not need an
    overpriced tie. I need water! I should kill you, but I must find water
    first."

    "OK," said the old Jew, "it does not matter that you do not want to buy a
    tie and that you hate me. I will show you that I am bigger than that. If you
    continue over that hill to the east for about two miles, you will find a
    lovely restaurant. It has all the water you need. Shalom."

    Muttering, the Arab staggered away over the hill.
    .
    .
    Several hours later he staggered back, and near collapse said: "Your brother
    won't let me in without a tie."
    Please excuse my typing as I have a form of parkinsons disease

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Apr 2005
    Location
    Saugerties, NY 2 hours north of NYC
    Posts
    50

    Default

    Alistair. You have made my day!!!!! Thank you, Bill Senko

  3. #3
    IOWOLF Guest

    Default

    I love it.

  4. #4
    Join Date
    Dec 2003
    Location
    Palo Alto, California
    Posts
    1,300

    Default

    Blindsided me, too, so I shared it with the other guys in the shop. Big laffs on a day when we can all use 'em after dealing with, er, the "public."

  5. #5
    Join Date
    Feb 2007
    Location
    Arkadelphia Ar.
    Posts
    444

    Default

    Thanks Alistair, i just had to pass that on to my friends.

  6. #6
    Join Date
    Jul 2004
    Location
    EnZed
    Posts
    1,930

    Smile On a lazy Sunday arvo..

    Alistair that is brilliant!! Laughed my tits off! .............. thanks for the punctuation, it helped a lot
    Ken.

  7. #7
    Join Date
    Mar 2002
    Posts
    1,090

    Default too funny

    Great joke.
    Non, je ne regrette rien.

  8. #8
    Join Date
    Mar 2003
    Location
    LAS CRUCES NM
    Posts
    443

    Default

    Alistair,

    Thanks for the chuckle.


    Cheers!
    Les H.
    The Impossible Takes Just A Little Bit Longer!

  9. #9
    Join Date
    Dec 2002
    Location
    Friesland, Netherlands
    Posts
    1,836

    Default

    A man, returning home a day early from a business trip, got into a taxi at the airport. It was after midnight.

    While en route to his home, He asked the cabby if he would be a witness. The man suspected his wife was having an affair and he intended to catch her in the act. For $100, the cabby agreed.

    Quietly arriving at the house, the husband and cabby tiptoed into the bedroom. The husband switched on the lights, yanked the blanket back and there was his wife in bed with another man. The husband put a gun to the naked man's head.

    The wife shouted, "Don't do it! This man has been very generous! I lied when I told you I inherited money. He paid for the Corvette I bought for you. He paid for our new cabin cruiser. He paid for your season Pittsburgh Steeler Tickets. He paid for our house at the lake. He paid for our country club membership, and he even pays the monthly dues!"

    Shaking his head from side-to-side the husband slowly lowered the gun. He looked over at the cab driver and said, "What would you do?"

    The cabby said, "I'd cover him up with that blanket before he catches a cold."

    Ian

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