OT That damn disease

[George Bulliss]

David,

I’d like to express my condolences to you and your family. I can’t imagine what it must be like for Nick’s wife and son.

Guys,
Those of you that have been in situations similar to David’s can understand the need to talk to someone about what you are going through. That is what this thread is about. Please don’t turn it into an argument over the existence of God, or of an afterlife.

George

[David S Newman]

I believe in god and pray to him every day, but in the last few months of hell we've been through I have been wavering, my prayers have been to no avail. Mother, son and soon father gone in 3 months, that's my sister my nephew and brother in law. David

Just had a call from the hospice Alf my brother in law has now passed away, only reason i'm telling you is I was on this site when I got the call. Now going to have a few stiff ones and cry.

[loosewatches]

I have to say, although I don't know you, your nerves must really be on the saw to start a thread here on the topic. That is to say, as someone far from home with no one to talk to about life and death issues outside of my 3 piece family, I can understand reaching into the forum for a respite.

I agree that this is not the place for a hijack argument, as much as I would love to jump on that tack.

I can offer you this..... My Mother died a year ago. she was sick with everything But cancer. Really. Her heart, right arm and back, stomach, lungs etc. were all shot, then her kidneys went. Dialysis for a year and a half and she was down to 65 pounds before she died. But, she died with a sound mind. (with the exception of some very wierd times due to lack of oxygen.)

My Grandfather (on my Dad's side) died of stomach cancer. He went to chemo once (this was in 1979-80) and decided it was not for him. He was a great guy and died a bad way when I was 8.

Why am I telling you this? Because you asked, in a way. There is nothing more scary than finding out that the people who have made up your life are, in an instant, gone. With one possible exception. Mental illness. I do think that Alzheimers, and the acceptance of that fate is more frightening. My Grandmother had a wild end to her life because of this disease, and I hope, personally, to die of anything But alzheimer's disease.

I have seen several suicides in my family. These were "healthy" people. I know that a body in pain and rebellion is an ugly thing, but, from my point of view, it is much worse when the mind rebels.

Point: Think good thoughts...(Stupid as that sounds) Take your time and live your life the best way that you can. Forget what the doctors tell you. It's not that they are wrong, necessarily, but you don't need "sick" in your head.

I promise I am not trying to sell you anything, but give you an idea. I have two family members who have (so far) beaten illness (one cancer and one bipolar) through Aikido and Ki study. They have gotten me a bit hooked into the idea, too. I happen to be manic-depressive and I can tell you that,as a point of fact, your mind can control your body and vice versa. Maybe this will help. I wish you the best.
-loose

http://www.asunam.com/Ki_Daily_life.htm

I should add that this is the only 'quick link' I could find on the subject. It may not be the best, but it will give you an idea. The page that this is linked from is a 'reiki' page. I don't know anything about that. I googled Ki practice and got what I listed. I think it covers the basic idea. But.... There are several books on the topic of Ki. Ki in daily life by Koichi Tohei is a good place to start. If you have an open mind, the ideas are sound. If you have a sound mind, the universe is open.

perhaps this is a better link.
http://www.ki-aikido.com.sg/Ki-Aikido-InterviewKT.html

[Mad Scientist]

David:
I can only imagine how you must feel, but be certain that you have the condolences of everyone here. There is no easy way or pat answers that will help you get through this. But you will get through it.

[Don’t be dismayed at good-byes. A farewell is necessary before you can meet again. and meeting again, after moments or lifetimes, is certain for those who are friends.]

[Here is a test to find whether your mission on earth is finished; if you are alive it isn’t]

[Evan]

Evan: You did not address my full post, just one line. I hope you will not be offended when I say I am praying for you. Gary P. Hansen

I'm not offended and I am purposely not trying to start a debate about God or religion. The point I was making is that there are no certainties about death other than it will happen to every one of us.

"It's not that life is too short, it's that you are dead for so long"

If I am right then there is nothing to fear about death. It is the absolute freedom from worry, stress, pain and all earthly concerns. The dead know of nothing, it is the ultimate deep sleep, something I haven't had in a long time.

[garyphansen]

David S. Newman:
I once had a dog that knew 23 different commands, and sometimes he even obeyed them. When I came out of the house he would be all happy and wag his tail. If I got into my truck and drove off he would drop his tail between his legs and slink off to his dog house. It was beyond his understanding that I was going to town to get work, so I could do it and get paid and by him dog food. He was smart for a dog but if you put that dog on a line graph based on intelligence and me on the same graph we would be quite a ways apart. Now if it was possible to put the designer and creator of all we know on the same graph God would be a google plex of light years away and it would be hard to see any distance between me and my dog.

My point being, is we are not smart enough to understand the ways of God. The Bible tells us that "All things work together for good for those that know the Lord." So, if the Bible is true, and I believe it is with all my heart, then some how things are working out for our good even though we can not see it or understand it. Your family members who know the Lord and have passed on would not trade places with you. Their suffering is finished and they have their reward. I hope these words have been some comfort to you.
Gary P. Hansen

[David S Newman]

Well despite members complaining of OT imput here goes, i'll take the flack.

We finally put to rest my nephew Nick yesterday, it was a very sad day. He was such a loved man that the church was full to bursting, friends and aquaintances standing in the graveyard because the church was full. His wife Tracey was very brave and spoke to the congregation , I doin't know how ?
Nick was a very successfull business man and made good, he would have helped anyone out for no reward.
4 months ago knowing he was dying he bought a brand new Ferrari (spelling) as it was something he'd always strived for, his wife got a friend to drive it to the funeral with his 10 year old son in the passenger seat as Nick would have loved this. All in all he had the send off of royalty and I am proud for him to have been my nephew. David

[wierdscience]

Well despite members complaining of OT imput here goes, i'll take the flack.

We finally put to rest my nephew Nick yesterday, it was a very sad day. He was such a loved man that the church was full to bursting, friends and aquaintances standing in the graveyard because the church was full. His wife Tracey was very brave and spoke to the congregation , I doin't know how ?
Nick was a very successfull business man and made good, he would have helped anyone out for no reward.
4 months ago knowing he was dying he bought a brand new Ferrari (spelling) as it was something he'd always strived for, his wife got a friend to drive it to the funeral with his 10 year old son in the passenger seat as Nick would have loved this. All in all he had the send off of royalty and I am proud for him to have been my nephew. David

That is the one thing we can be certain of when we are gone.The way people remember us will live on good or bad.