Shop humor, again

[Cecil Walker]

Saw the following sign in a local shop........"We the willing, led by the unknowing, are doing the impossible for the ungrateful. We have done so much, for so long, with so little we are now qualified to do anything with nothing...."

[Oso]

saw this somewhere, new federal law compliant hammer:

Features of the new, redesigned hammer per CFR 573/004 2002:

1) It is instrumented to record impact energy and time-stamp each impact. Thus an employer can monitor workers to see if they are working, how hard they work, or if they are possibly too old to do the work and need to be reassigned outside the company.

2) It is copy protected, it will only hit those brands of nails which are allowed by the manufacturer. When copy protection is bidirectionally implemented, a nail once hit with your hammer will then reject all other hammers.

3) It incorporates Generation II enhanced copy security features which prevent its use to pull out nails if the nails were put in with a different hammer, or were marked with a pull-protect code when put in.

4) Modification of a post-573/004 hammer with pre-573/004 parts is prohibited. Therefore, any attempt to change the head or handle will immediately disable functioning when the code mismatch is detected, and alert law enforcement.

5) It incorporates the new US DOHS mandated security features. These prevent it hitting certain items, such as heads, aircraft doors, bank vaults, sidewalks, windows, etc. The hammer function may be remotely disabled by law enforcement authorities.

6) It meets the new OSHA / European Community Harmonized standards, which limit the total impact energy below the threshold where glass breaks and pain is caused to fingers.

7) It incorporates advanced biometric technology to detect undersized hands and disable the hammer function if detected.

[Thrud]

[QUOTE]Originally posted by Oso:
Sure first they outlaw hammers, then skydiving helmets - Then how are we going to protect the Earth from the impact of our heads? I ask you, How?

Damn them all to hell - whack away, say I.