I read up about this when I did my research on black oxide.
The best would be to check out http://www.finishing.com.
There are a few ways to kill this particular cat. I know stainless can be black oxided but the process is dangerous and the chemicals are really scary.
I think one of the chemicals inculded some form of arsinic.
On that topic I could be wrong but just read up abit about sodium dichromate. If I'm not mistaken the byproduct is Chromium that is a real hassle to get rid off don't just pour it down hole 13 .
I looked at Black bronzing on stainless and it looks pretty good.
The best would prob be powder coating.
Check out the link above someone would be able to help you there.
If you are using violence and it does not work, You are not using enough.