I heard a new one today

[firemandiver]

One I use quite often is " I'm madder than a bare footed centipede standin' on a hot rock!"

FD

[lynnl]

"Darker than a stack of black cats."

Darker'n the inside of cow.

Busy as a one-legged man at an a$$-kicking contest.

Finer'n a frog hair split eight ways.

[Sleazey]

"He couldn't pour piss out of a boot, even with instructions printed on the heel."

"Grinning like a jackass eating cactus."

"He came out of the shallow end of the gene pool."

"As busy as the one-legged man at an ass-kicking contest."

[darryl]

Dumber than a sack of hammer handles.

So brainless the light's brighter comin out one ear than goin in the other.

[blowlamp]

Fits like a stocking on a chicken's lip.


Martin.

[rmcphearson]

"This is worse than skinning a bowling ball with a potato peeler"

That's sounds about as tough as trying to f*ck a greasy beach ball. But I wouldn't know because... I've never tried to skin a bowling ball.

[johnnyd]

#1.."The road to hell is paved with good intentions"

#2..if a parakeet had his/her brains, it would hang upside down & fly backwards

#3..He/she has the cranial capacity of a canary

#4..He/she has the mental agility of a small sponge

#5.. one must use caution when conversing with a fool, that he is not likewise engaged

[tylernt]

"Looks like I just picked a whole handful of oopsie-daisies."

[pigpen60]

who's screwin this cat! you or me? used when receiving unnescesary instruction
worthless as tits on a boar hog.

[danlb]

If only i could buy him for what he's worth and sell him for what he thinks he's worth....