Page 2 of 3 FirstFirst 123 LastLast
Results 11 to 20 of 26

Thread: Funniest Machine Shop Experiences

  1. #11
    Join Date
    Jun 2008
    Location
    Toronto Ontario Canada
    Posts
    839

    Default The suspense was unintentional !

    Quote Originally Posted by LKeithR View Post
    Hurry up and finish. The suspense is killing me!!
    Dentist,s appointment the next morning. Well I went to the appointment as planned and then went in to the plant., a couple of hours after usual start time, Within seconds of clocking on ( I had a time card to help keep track of billable hours) all hell broke loose, yelling, laughing, banging on metal all began and continued for a minute or so, even the plant owner joined in , laughing.
    After it died down I asked " What did I do to deserve that?" apparently I had, inadvertantly got some loctite on the morse taper of the revolving centre and had left it in the tailstock when I went home.
    The next man to use the 14/40 lathe had found that the revolving centre was stuck FIRMLY in the tailstock. To remove it they had taken the quill out, heated it with the oxy set and even then had to press it out with the 50 ton press. So everyone ( 20 0r so) guys were aware of my misadventure with loctite.
    To this day 30 odd years later the owner and the workmen still sometimes ask' Used any loctite lately? and smile when I meet them !
    Regards David Powell

  2. #12
    Join Date
    Mar 2015
    Posts
    4,006

    Default

    Well, since I never worked at a machine shop, I'll have to tell a flight instructor story. Had a student complain about not getting enough fuel for his cross country flight from Orlando to Naples, FL. After departing Orlando and half way over, across the Everglades, I unfold the map and cover up the mixture control and pull out the mixture killing the engine.
    My student looks at me in the most undescribable way of disbelief, disgust, anger, and fear of one's life.
    I was planning on letting the airplane drift down to about 500 ft, but I couldn't control my laughter.
    If your a student pilot, and your instructor has become bored and burnt out, I suggest getting a different instructor.

    Sent from my SM-G950U1 using Tapatalk

  3. #13
    Join Date
    Dec 2018
    Posts
    526

    Default

    I'm not the pilot, just the mechanic,
    working for government contractor on army VIP aircraft. the ones that haul the general officers. we launch them on flight line and maintain them.
    The aircraft tug we were issued was rife with its problems, and the E-7 (E-6, E-5, O-3, you name it) couldn't seem to get it fixed.
    That is, until I had a 0-dark:30 launch for the base O-9. (3star general)
    I get the aircraft pulled up to the hangar door tracks and, dammit, the tug stalled, dammit the carb is flooded, dammit the battery run dead, it just won't go.
    There is the General's aircraft stuck sitting on the door tracks, golf clubs in the baggage, 3stars in the window, all ready to go, and the doggone tug is dead.
    What's a contractor to do? Call the E-7 (the squirrelly one) at wee hours of the morning of course!!!!
    The squirrel gets on scene about the same time as the 3-star' entourage, and there is no airplane for General to board. The pilots standing around tapping their feet.
    The morning PT (thanks to the squirrel) turns into pushing the dead tug away, and pushing the aircraft to the flight line. The pilots crank up, the General boards, and away they go.
    The SFC immediately wants our maintenance records for the tug. (we are assigned the tug, army maintains it)
    I say "which one Sir, today, yesterday, last week, or last month?"
    Well the squirrel SFC blows a gasket, the smoke coming out of his collar looked like a hit-n-miss engine that aint hit in awhile.
    By 10:00 same morning there is a flatbed truck (motor pool) looking for me, (contractor), lo and behold, it got a brand spanking new tug for the aircraft.
    The look on SFC face was priceless, the contractor got the new tug, and the Armee still had their old junk.
    All it took was a 'convenient' dead battery at 03:30 in the morning........
    Last edited by Ringo; 06-26-2019 at 12:35 AM.

  4. #14
    Join Date
    Oct 2013
    Location
    USA MD 21030
    Posts
    5,633

    Default

    I worked as an instrument technician at EIL Instruments, which also had a repair department that fixed oscilloscopes, oscillators, and other such equipment. A favorite joke was to slip a piece of tubing into the device being worked on, and whenever the technician turned it on, a tech at the opposite bench would blow smoke into it (people smoked inside at work in the '70s and '80s).

    Another joke was to connect a 1/4 watt 1k resistor across the blades of a power cable, which would go *bang* with much magic smoke when plugged in.

    The guys also played a joke on the janitor. They took an animal skull and put a red lamp in it, and placed it in the bottom of a trash can, covered with some paper. When the janitor went to empty the can, the "demon skull" greeted him. Boo!

    We also calibrated police radar units, and one of the techs found a ticket book in one of them. So they wrote up a bogus ticket about illegally passing a stopped school bus, and put it under the wiper of another guy's car. He was ranting and raving about it for a long time, while we scolded him about being a scofflaw, before we let him know it was fake.

    One guy bought a new VW bug, and he was bragging about how it got 30 MPG while most of us were lucky to get 20. So while he was at lunch, some of the guys would slip a gallon or two of gas in his tank. Then he bragged even louder that he was getting 40 and even 50 MPG or better. After a few days of such fun, they started siphoning off a gallon or two - and then he got really quiet about his amazing new car.

  5. #15
    Join Date
    Oct 2002
    Location
    Russellville, AR
    Posts
    1,216

    Default

    Bach when batchfiles were in use, wrote a very simple one to load on a co-workers computer that ran when he next booted the computer. It was very simple, just put one line of text on the screen.












    That line of text was "Press any key to format drive C:"

  6. #16
    Join Date
    May 2011
    Posts
    870

    Default

    I'm having a lot of fun reading these posts. I thought I would contribute another one involving the same shop foreman (Jim) from my first post.

    As I mentioned in my first post Jim was a great guy and a foreman any machinist would love to work with. I remember once when I was a rookie that Jim was putting a piece of round stock into a 4 jaw chuck. I happened to be standing there at the tailstock talking to him as he was doing so. I swear to God I am not making this up. After Jim had snugged up the piece after adjusting the jaws only to the lines on the chuck he put a dial test indicator on it and the damn thing was running dead true on the first check. Jim looked over at me with a look of horror on his face and said, "Holy Jesus!!! We can't have this!!!" and then proceeded to loosen the jaws and start over.

    I read someplace that we die three times; the first time is when we physically die, the second is at the funeral, and the third is the last time someone mentions our name. So I tell this story from time to time to keep Jim's memory alive. Like I said, he was a hell of a guy in so many ways.

  7. #17
    Join Date
    May 2007
    Location
    Live Oak, TEXAS
    Posts
    1,838

    Default

    I used to keep an old, battered, useless pair of 6" dial calipers in my toolbox for gags.
    Whenever I worked with a "Tool Hoarder", or someone that was obsessed with his precious tools, I would go over and borrow his nice Starrett, Mitutoyo, or B&S 6" Calipers. Begging to do so... as I needed them ASAP!!
    I would then walk to my toolbox, pretend to measure something... do the old "switch-a-roo"... and start strolling back to his area to "return" them.
    I would get about 20 or 30 feet from his area, and shout, "HEY! Thanks for letting me borrow these!", and toss them into the air, making sure the calipers bounced off the concrete floor a few times.
    HAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!
    The looks of Shock, Anger, Horror, etc. were PRICELESS!!!!
    Last guy I did that to, kept the old battered calipers. Darn. Hahahaha.... It was worth it.

  8. #18
    Join Date
    Oct 2013
    Location
    USA MD 21030
    Posts
    5,633

    Default

    I thought you were going to say you deftly switched them and then tried to use them as a monkey wrench on a frozen bolt.

  9. #19
    Join Date
    Mar 2001
    Location
    OREGON
    Posts
    769

    Default

    Back in the middle 70's I worked in an automotive machine shop that also did drivelines. The guy that did them would peen the weld sometimes to reduce the runout of a weld yoke to tube connection. He'd support the high side on a piece of wood, and hammer the weld bead on the low side to stretch it a little. As you can imagine, it sounded like he was beating the liberty bell! So, I glued a rubber disc cut from a mud flap on a couple of his hammers. This started a battle which saw me doing other things like putting never-seez on the backside of his chrome drawer pulls on his toolbox, on his impact wrench and on a handwheel of his lathe, among other things. Ah, the good times!

  10. #20
    Join Date
    May 2013
    Location
    UK, near London
    Posts
    1,291

    Default

    Some time after I passed 40 years on the planet and was working in a very open plan 'office' with a lab area at one end I discovered that early in the morning, or at lunchtime when they were away I could wonder down there and run a test audio sweep and oh dear sometimes forgot to turn the amp off leaving at something above 10KHz. Senior engineers not bothered, youngsters not quite sure what was irritating them.
    Found something similar last year. We got an IP phone system on our work computers and I struggled to find the settings for adapting it to my jack plug mic/earphone headset instead of the standard USB headset. Went away for a coffee and came back ten minutes later to find the jack plugs pulled out. Didn't remember pulling them out but at my age can never be certain so stuck them back in and a yell came from the girl in the next bay. One of the settings seems not to put in enough microphone delay to prevent high frequency feedback.

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •