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OT: Marriage!!! Is it worth it?

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  • OT: Marriage!!! Is it worth it?

    yes it is worth it. we were married for 26 years - she died ten years ago of brain cancer at 44. not likely to remarry - it would be impossible to not compare.
    Craig

  • #2
    ..........
    Last edited by pgmrdan; 03-24-2006, 08:52 PM.

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    • #3
      I am retired and my wife is DELIGHTED when I go down to the Shop and get out of her way! She fully supports my hobby and in fact, she was the one that bought the Lathe and Shaper and Drill Press for me and is going to buy a Milling machine when we can afford it. Been happily married since 1959! Ain't I blessed?

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      • #4
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        Last edited by pgmrdan; 03-24-2006, 08:53 PM.

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        • #5
          30 years of marriage here....

          We solved the money for hobby tools issue long ago. Each of us has our own career. We both contribute the same amount to a household fund, that fund pays the monthly bills, property tax, food, clothing, etc, etc.

          After I make my household contribution, I'm free to spend whatever I want on my hobbies, tools, whatever. She has the same freedom to spend as she pleases. Sure saves a lot of bickering over money.

          [This message has been edited by DR (edited 02-24-2006).]

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          • #6
            ..........
            Last edited by pgmrdan; 03-24-2006, 08:54 PM.

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            • #7
              I met my wife when I was 19 married when I turned 20 that was 35 years ago this year have a wonderful wife would do it again tomorrow without question.She loves me and I love her and she's been the only one all these years Alistair
              Please excuse my typing as I have a form of parkinsons disease

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              • #8
                We will be celebrating our 48th this April. Had our bad times and our good times. Janis has her workshop and I have mine. We seldom talk money or politics, do things together like our daily walk, house cleaning and of course worship services every Sunday.

                A little incident happened last evening. We started to have our ice cream after dinner and I knocked mine off the table. Of course the dish broke into a zillion pieces. I said, aren't you going to yell at me or call me dumb. Her reply was,No, it may be me the next time.

                Love her from before we were married even though she hated me in High School.

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                • #9
                  "30 years of marriage here....
                  We solved the money for hobby tools issue long ago. Each of us has our own career. We both contribute the same amount to a household fund, that fund pays the monthly bills, property tax, food, clothing, etc, etc.

                  After I make my household contribution, I'm free to spend whatever I want on my hobbies, tools, whatever. She has the same freedom to spend as she pleases. Sure saves a lot of bickering over money."

                  Other than 27 years of un-marriage together, and "had" instead of "have" on the careers, that's our situation.

                  The umbrella of hobby guilt needs to spread over everyone. Luckily, the gem and mineral club is right around the corner so she can keep her faceting machine over there, and I don't have to find space for rock slabbing saws here at home. There are still plenty of rocks (and orchids) all over the place though. But there's plenty of my stuff scattered all over too.

                  cheers,
                  Michael

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                  • #10
                    I'm quite a bit younger than most of you who have posted, (mid thirtys). Kim and I have been married 5 years. What eats the time out our lives? A 2 1/2 year old girl and a 1 year old boy. I wouldn't trade it for anything. My wife has dedicated herself to raising the babys, so when I get home I help her, as best I can, after all she is SWMBO. That doesn't leave much time for shop play. But that will change as the kids get older and more independant (I hope).

                    As far as haveing to sit and watch TV, that's easy, exicute the damned thing. We got along very well for 4+ years with one only hooked to the DVD player. Now, unfortunatly, it gets used as an electric baby sitter. I still don't like to sit and watch TV though. < well OK I think Myth Busters is a hoot> I would much rather build legos, and play blocks with my kids. They get more out of that than any amount of TV.

                    Holy Cow! this soap box got high in a hurry; I better get off before I fall and hurt myself!
                    Ignorance is curable through education.

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                    • #11
                      I certainly got lucky like some of the others. But, it wasn't all luck. I have given her my "Conan Speech" on several occasions and now I think she accepts me for who I am.

                      I told her it bothers me that women are seeking a Conan the Barbarian type. Someone who can protect them and the brood and provide for all their needs. They want him ruthless with the outside world and fully able to be strong. BUT THEN, they also want him to be swish-metro-male type who wears hairspray, picks out gushy anniversary,birthday type cards and remembers to have roses sent to them for every occasion. Hell I can't even remember the exact day of my wife's birthday or our anniversary. I simply explained to her that if the success of our marriage is going to be jusdjed by how well I remember these dates then our marriage is a failure. If it's based on how well we're living and how much I think of her and what I try to do for her that she doesn't even ask for then maybe we're doing okay. Now, 36 years later, we've never been closer. Now we argue about the opposite things. Everytime I walk into the living room she wants to change the channel to what I want to watch. I've often told her she would have no life if I died as she's always so willing to do what I want and can't cough up an idea of what she wants to do when I ask!!

                      You know, I think it's important to note how Hollywood and the commercial folks are portraying white males as goof offs with no ability what so ever. Advertising works or we wouldn't have TV. If theres good advertising then there has to be bad as well. That's going to cause our daughters much trouble if they take all this in as the real world. If there's a white guy on tv, he's an asshole and never the one who could possibly know anything or be of any value in a relationship. Only the Geek is allowed to show any masculine traits and they are really watered down. You won't find many wrench's, lumber jacks and construction workers unless they're all stupid.


                      [This message has been edited by Your Old Dog (edited 02-24-2006).]
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                      Thank you to our families of soldiers, many of whom have given so much more then the rest of us for the Freedom we enjoy.

                      It is true, there is nothing free about freedom, don't be so quick to give it away.

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                      • #12
                        bumpersticker: "Lonely beats Miserable"
                        Married for 19 years, then single for 15 years, now married for 6. Being single ain't the perfect life but it has it's good points, divorces are expensive and traumatic, but you survive and things get better, and better. Living with someone who doesn't want you to be happy SUX!!. You get to do this thing one time, don't blow it.
                        "four to tow, two to go"

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                        • #13
                          three words-- ditch the bitch

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                          • #14
                            Thanks for reminding me again Dan. Our 35th is in just over a week.

                            "I'm seriously thinking that after I have my workshop built at the new place I should set up one corner with a cot, refrigerator, microwave, coffee pot, radio, etc. like an efficiency apartment. (Should I put in a bathroom too? )"

                            Don't forget the inflatable sheep.
                            Free software for calculating bolt circles and similar: Click Here

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                            • #15
                              I suspect that this will be one very busy thread. ;< )

                              In reference to your question having a good marriage means that you are living with your best friend, having a bad marriage means that you are sleeping with the enemy.

                              So having a good marriage is the BEST thing that will ever happen to you...and having a bad marriage will be LIVING IN HELL ON EARTH.

                              Considering that between 50-60% of first time marriages fail with subsequent marriage failures rates even higher, the chance you will have a happy marriage is in the minority. If you do, go give your spouse a hug right now because you are a very lucky person.

                              Divorce is also very BIG business at your expense if your marriage fails. It is the quickest way to downsize your shop..remember all those great buys we get at divorce sales?

                              It is also interesting that over 40% of the couples in the United States today do not marry...and that trend is increasing.

                              Is marriage worth it? Well I think the answer depends on whether you win or lose at the venture...kind of like buying a lottery ticket.


                              TMT

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