Monitoring kids on the internet, Suggestions?

[ibewgypsie]

My daughter has been here for a week. I put together a old pc/(see old computer post) into a arcade style box. It surfs the net.

She has discovered Neopets *a kids site. I have tried to monitor her as much as possible but find it near impossible. I looked over her shoulder a moment ago to hear some boy talking about pink floyd. Now she is 9.. Seems that I discovered Pink Floyd in the eighteen range.

(past history) I had a 11 year old stepdaughter, a 18 year old boy who had a mans voice called the house for her. I got his address, questioned him for a while and finally explained to him she was 11. He thought she was much older. She, when she found out I had terminated that relationship screamed and throwed a bloody fit the neighbors called the police over.

I explained to the police what had happened before they took me to jail, that time. Luckily one had a daughter and understood.

The stepdaughter has hated me since.

Back on "MY daughter"'s case.. I bought net-nanny it is in the mail, any other suggestions other than pull the plug and look stupid why it does not hook up?

I'm a old school guy, I understand life, predators and am trying my best to be a dad.

------------------
David Cofer, Of:
Tunnel Hill, North Georgia

[jkilroy]

Mr. Cofer,

A simple suggestion is to make sure the PC is located in a place where the monitor is in full view of everyone in the room. This makes it easier to catch a glimpse of whats going on. Other than that a frank discussion concerning what is allowed and what isn't is always the way to start. Followed by a quick un-plug if the rules are broken.

Good luck,

Jay Kilroy

[tryp]

In addition to the above suggestion which is excellent you should do what many of the guys I work with do.
Simply forbid the use of chat/messenger programs, this is where all the trouble comes from, this is the favored format of the predator. It may be hard to do if she is already using them though as they are really addicting.

[ahidley]

use AOL 9.0. It has a feature that records all the places where a "screen name" goes. And then the administrator can get the list and check out all sites visited if they want to.. Its free with aol and easy to set up. You can also set it up to allow acccess to differant sites with somthing kinda like movie ratings, i.e. G, PG, R, X, etc

[tryp]

Please don't use aol, just don't, that's just cruel and unusual.

[3 Phase Lightbulb]

Just go into your web browser settings and add the following domains to the block filters:

CNN.com
*.gov
metalillness.com
ebay.com

Those are the only domains you should be concerned with.. Everything else is OK

-Adrian

[BillH]

[3 Phase Lightbulb]

Bill, You're right! You might have a problem finding a Kayak that you'll be able to fit in

[Paul Alciatore]

Dave,

Quite a serious concern. The web has opened up our homes to everyone and everything. We want to protect our children - no, we have an obligation to protect them.

The Net Nanny sounds like a good start. But I will bet that the ways to circumvent it will be on some child sites soon if not already. What I am saying, is that you (we) must take many precautions, not just trust to one. I like the computer in a public area of the home where everyone can see it bit. Set the rules. Computer use IS NOT PRIVATE for children. That's a capital period. By all means use some way of recording the various sites they visit. Don't just trust the built in lists in the web browser as they are easily erased.

Set up the computer with yourself as administrator and give each child a user account with limited privledges. XP allows this and it is a good protection. Keep your administrator's password to yourself and allow them to log on only under their accounts.

And check up on what they are doing. Visit the same sites and see what goes on. Don't be frightened off by the reaction of your step daughter. Frankly, she should have known or have been told in no uncertain terms by BOTH parents that it is not proper for an 18 year old to seek a relationship with an 11 year old. You are the parents. If her mother disagreed with that, then you have a real problem.

Paul A.

[Wirecutter]

David -
I'm not a parent, but I don't envy you the task of keeping your daughter "safe" online. I know a guy whose job it once was to find porn and other offensive sites so he could add them to a company's "can't go there" lists for the firewall. It was a full time job, and in the end, could not be done by one person. Nowdays, you must automate the process. Even that is tough - notice that spammers, for example, have taken to intentionally misspelling stuff so it won't get filtered.

I do think it's great that you're thinking about this, though - too many parents don't. FWIW, my neighbors with kids follow the "public use" policy for family computers: Kids' computer use must take place where a responsible person can easily look and see what's happening.

I wish you all the best.

-Mark

[rbregn]

go to http://www.akrontech.com/ the have an egg timer type program called enuff, that has filter and you can control the times that the kids are on. You can have different settings for everyone. I bought it 6 years ago and it saved me alot of grief! You also get free updates.They have a full functioning 30 day free trail to check it out.
Rob

[Evan]

My 12 year old grandsons are not permitted to use the internet at all by themselves. If they need to do some research then it is done together with an adult. All the filters in the world won't prevent nasty vile crap from ending up on the screen.

If you want to see just how easy it is to get into trouble try using Google on this phrase:

machine motors and parts

Please note that you should not try this with children present.

[Wirecutter]

Evan -
Yuck! That's nasty. The first two results!

The scary thing is that the most popular searches percolate to the top on Google. They track which links get followed after a search, and those become more popular.

BTW, I heard on the radio something about this, too. The discussion was about the different results you get when searching for "black teen" versus "caucasion teen" or "white teen". (I'd guess this works for almost any "[ethnic group] teen")

[This message has been edited by Wirecutter (edited 08-02-2005).]

[cntryboy1289]

I have an 11 yr old son and a 7 yr old daughter. I have had the same problems. I use MSN for my ISP and they have a deal that you set the parameters for them to use as the adminstrator. You can set it to the level you want them to have. You can set it so they have to ask your permission to view a web site. You get a report every time they go online in your email address so you can go back and make sure they aren't some place you don't want them to be. It also records their IM's and lets you read them if you want to go that far and shows any emails they receive. It is as good of a deal as I found. If you don't like a page, simply block it and they cannot view it again. Good luck with it, my son fussed like the devil when I started blocking pages because of it's viruses he was picking up and I would ask him who someone is. You would be appaled at the names some of the girls he was talking to used for the name you saw them as. I put the cabash on several of the little slut sounding ones. One was, and I qoute, "Me love you longggggggggg timmmmmmme Baby" and another was, "I'll make it feel sooooooo goooooooood baby. They were both 10 years old because they put their parents on and we talked for a good 30 minutes about it over the phone when I called them up. Needless to say, someone got their rumped tore up by their parents and the names went back to their real ones. I caught my son emulating that sh*t, he had some stupid name that he thought sounded cool to everyone, he got his butt whooped as well. It's amazing the nonsense the pick up at school and on the web and have no idea of how lude it is. They simply go to repeating it because it sounded cool to them. Wise up folks, because it is every where. My son knew about, well thought he knew about sex at 9 years old. That was one I tried to tip toe around, but he kept asking questions that led me to believe someone had been telling him things. Didn't want that, so I gave him the basics. I was in the 7th grade before i even heard the word sex. Oh well, good luck IBEWgypsy. I have been there and know where you are at right now.

[BillH]

The public school system I went to taught us about Sex in the 5th grade.
If you truly want your kids to be safe, keep them away from computers, away from their friends, and all media outlets. Your best bet is to make a dungeon and lock them in.
When I had an internship fixing computers in the elementry school, a lot of those kids knew how to hack, so don't think anything you do is going to work on them long.
And 3 Phase, I noticed I set myself up with that picture but I loved that picture to show to my parents, I told them, "You see what the rest of the world thinks of you for using aol?"
They have a cable modem, but they still log onto AOL to surf the web!!!! Honestly, If I re-arranged the icons on their desktop they wouldnt be able to use their computer!