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Looking for your wife at Walmart?

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  • Looking for your wife at Walmart?

    Two old guys are pushing their carts around Wal-Mart when they collide.

    The first old guy says to the second guy, "Sorry about that. I'm looking for my wife, and I guess I wasn't paying attention to where I was going."

    The second old guy says, "That's OK. It's a coincidence. I'm looking for my wife, too. I can't find her and I'm getting a little
    desperate."

    The first old guy says, "Well, maybe we can help each other. What does your wife look like?

    The second old guy says, "Well, she is 27 yrs old, tall, with red hair, blue eyes, long legs, big busted, and is wearing short shorts. What does your wife look like?"

    The first old guy says, "Doesn't matter --- let's look for yours."

  • #2
    Why is it every time I set foot in Wally World (I only buy soap and shampoo there, OK maybe a DVD or golf balls if they're cheap but that's it) I feel like I am stepping into the shallow end of the gene pool

    [This message has been edited by Spin Doctor (edited 08-19-2005).]
    Forty plus years and I still have ten toes, ten fingers and both eyes. I must be doing something right.

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    • #3
      Walmart and county fairs, thats the best places to go if you have had a rotten day.You see there are worse things that can happen and go away smileing.

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      • #4
        you want a real scare go to a local auction house on a fri. or sat night.

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        • #5
          True enough....but I gotta defend Walmart by saying every time I step into a mom n' pop store I get the same feeling.

          The local hardware store here went out of business last year amid much fanfare and the usual 'killing the little man' bitching and moaning - Home Depot had moved in.

          The FACT of the matter is they sucked for years and it was only because no one else was around that they stayed alive. In other words, they could afford to suck. Their bins never held more than 2 or 3 of a given item; imagine trying to run some conduit and you can only buy three Romex clamps.

          The moron in charge of their pipe area insisted they could not thread 1/8 pipe - despite the fact that I pointed out to him the "1/8" setting on the Ridgid threader. When they did thread pipe, it usually resulted in a threaded portion about twice as long as it should be.

          And God forbid you tried to return something....

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          • #6
            Its not the wallmart that we are makeing fun of its the consumers,and the ma and pops have to go somewhere,yup you guessed it, Wally world.

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            • #7
              "When I die bury me at Walmart,that way my wife will visit my grave often"
              I just need one more tool,just one!

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              • #8
                Just use their intercom system to page her.

                walmart is way to big . I loose my whole family in there every week ,but where else am I suposed to go after everyone else's prices are still cost too much??
                NRA member

                Gun control is using both hands

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                • #9
                  I usually only go to walmart for 9mm ammo anymore. I have a planned route that gets me in the doors, to the ammo counter, and out again in the shortest amount of time.

                  I find the biggest hazard is LSP's (Large Spandex People). They make an already small aisle even smaller, and can really slow me down trying to dodge them.

                  Fortunately, in my Walmart the garden center double exit doors are a straight shot from the ammo counter. Even if I encounter an oncoming LSP while I'm going through the door, I can usually turn sideways and miss them as I scoot out the door.


                  Wayne

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                  • #10
                    I made the assumption that items for my fishing boat would be cheaper at Walmart. I was wrong. Everything from wheel bearings to grease and outboard oil were cheaper at a local boating store where I thought they'd cost more ! Now I just assume they're more expensive for most items not listed on sale.
                    - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
                    Thank you to our families of soldiers, many of whom have given so much more then the rest of us for the Freedom we enjoy.

                    It is true, there is nothing free about freedom, don't be so quick to give it away.

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                    • #11
                      I must be the only guy that loves walmart. About the only excitment I get is when I go there. They have a mcdonalds just inside the door where I alway stop for coffee. I love to sit for awhile and watch the babes come and go. I don't too much care if they put out the two old hardware stores. The kids know nothing there and everything is made in china that they have [even waterpipe] so what whats the difference? See what its like to get old?
                      Michael

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                      • #12
                        .......Crowds at our local Wal-Mart are obscene. Idiot parents with their out of control kids dismantleing the toy dept, you get the cosmetics girl for help in sporting goods.

                        I go to Wal-Mart for one thing and that's Win Dyna-Point 2RF ammo, and have prolonged even THOSE visits via buying 2 cases last time. THAT was a fiasco of the first water too.

                        I go to K Mart. Closer, and I can park at the front door. Same people in run over house slippers and billowing muu-muu's stopped fixated in the middle of the aisle, but the next aisle is wide open. One person or no one in front of me at checkout.

                        I don't get the Wal-Mart attraction anyway. Same worthless throwaway crap at K Mart. Color me baffeled.

                        Rick
                        Son of the silver stream ..... Bullet caster.

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                        • #13
                          <font face="Verdana, Arial" size="2">Originally posted by Wayne02:
                          I usually only go to walmart for 9mm ammo anymore. I have a planned route that gets me in the doors, to the ammo counter, and out again in the shortest amount of time.

                          I find the biggest hazard is LSP's (Large Spandex People). They make an already small aisle even smaller, and can really slow me down trying to dodge them.

                          Fortunately, in my Walmart the garden center double exit doors are a straight shot from the ammo counter. Even if I encounter an oncoming LSP while I'm going through the door, I can usually turn sideways and miss them as I scoot out the door.


                          Wayne
                          </font>

                          Spandex should have a weight limit.

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                          • #14
                            Imagine a spandex blowout right there in Walmart. Oozing cellulite.

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                            • #15
                              <font face="Verdana, Arial" size="2">Originally posted by Spin Doctor:
                              Why is it every time I set foot in Wally World (I only buy soap and shampoo there, OK maybe a DVD or golf balls if they're cheap but that's it) I feel like I am stepping into the shallow end of the gene pool

                              [This message has been edited by Spin Doctor (edited 08-19-2005).]
                              </font>

                              Around here it's like entering a third world country.

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