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ot dont go back

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  • ot dont go back

    Over the Xmas period I had an e mail from my first love who I had not heard from for 45 years. she said she still thought of me often and she could not forget the glorious times we had and that I was her first lover.
    I e mailed her back and said I am not the man I used to be, I have put on a few pounds about the waist gone grey at the temples have a slight problem with piles and I dont think I could make love five times a night like I used to.
    Within minutes she replied she to was not the slip of a girl she used to be and that she had gained three stone had false teeth wore specs like jam jar bottoms and she had a flatulence problem.
    I immediately e mailed back and said f'''off you fat smelly t''t and changed my e mail address
    Have I done right

    [This message has been edited by malbenbut (edited 12-27-2005).]

  • #2
    So.. when are you getting back together?

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    • #3
      My wife says I cant go

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      • #4
        correct reply,
        words to the effectof-"Madam do you per chance have a lathe and a mill,and if so please send a picture,also do you own a brewery?"

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        • #5
          Im not sure you needed to change your email address, she probably committed suicide.

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          • #6
            Actually, last summer I got an email from my girlfreind in Grades 1 - 3, in Spain (AF brats). We said goodbye in 1960, exchanged cards for about 7 years, nothing since.
            So last fall she came for a visit with her family, nice folks all. And she still looks good. We exchange email daily, friends again.

            We haven't compared flatulence, but I'm pretty sure I'd win that one.

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            • #7
              I don't even joke about how mean ex's can be. To you, thier present bo, or anybody else that will listen.

              If I was to lose Carrol, I'd bring the dog inside to live, roll out the sleeping bag, close off about 7/8ths of the house and be happy. And never pursue another.
              Excuse me, I farted.

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              • #8
                David theres something to be said for the simple life but you would be easily bored with it.A man needs a wife to fetch things and wash his smelly socks and undies cook his food and take the dog out otherwise their pretty useless. sorry Bronwen just kidding seriously I married when I was nineteen 34years ago and I would marry her again tomorrow. Alistar
                Please excuse my typing as I have a form of parkinsons disease

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                • #9
                  <font face="Verdana, Arial" size="2">Originally posted by Alistair Hosie:
                  I married when I was nineteen 34years ago and I would marry her again tomorrow. Alistar</font>
                  Yes,but would she marry you.?

                  Allan

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                  • #10
                    <font face="Verdana, Arial" size="2">Originally posted by malbenbut:
                    I immediately e mailed back and said f'''off you fat smelly t''t and changed my e mail address
                    Have I done right
                    [This message has been edited by malbenbut (edited 12-27-2005).]
                    </font>
                    So, it was your personality and sense of decorum that she was ( and still is )in love with?

                    The best laugh I have had all this week.

                    Ken

                    Ken.

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                    • #11
                      "A man needs a maid."
                      Neil Young

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                      • #12
                        <font face="Verdana, Arial" size="2">Originally posted by Alistair Hosie:
                        David theres something to be said for the simple life but you would be easily bored with it.A man needs a wife to fetch things and wash his smelly socks and undies cook his food and take the dog out otherwise their pretty useless. </font>
                        Well I thought this thread was hilarious till I read the above. Now I can see I been getten screwed all these years. Nobody told me.

                        - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
                        Thank you to our families of soldiers, many of whom have given so much more then the rest of us for the Freedom we enjoy.

                        It is true, there is nothing free about freedom, don't be so quick to give it away.

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                        • #13
                          The three F's

                          If it Flys,Floats or Fornicates it's cheaper to rent
                          I just need one more tool,just one!

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                          • #14
                            With mine I just tell her to put another log on the fire babe, she has been gone for two weeks now.


                            BTW she is taking care of our daughter who just had an operation.
                            Don\'t ask me to do a dam thing, I\'m retired.
                            http://home.earthlink.net/~kcprecision/

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                            • #15
                              What do you call that worthless skin around a vagina?........


                              Woman!
                              Arbo & Thor (The Junkyard Dog)

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