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Yes lets have offensive shop sign postings!

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  • Yes lets have offensive shop sign postings!

    I vote for everyone to post their shop signs. I'll begin...
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  • #2
    Since my shop is packed up right now I can show the sticker on my lathe, but it reads "Remove head from ass before operating this lathe".

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    • #3
      AvE would have full set of these..

      Location: Helsinki, Finland, Europe

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      • #4
        not a shop sign, but I had to write"no aluminum, pinhead" on my abrasive wheel chopsaw.

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        • #5
          My brother and I used to share a woodshop. He had a bad habit of not checking old barn siding for nails and staples before running it through the planer. I finally used a Marksall and wrote:

          NO NAILS.
          Mom loved me more.

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          • #6
            My friends shop is the best of offensive - for starters yeah he's got various offensive stickers on just about everything - but the icing on the cake is his "complaint department manager" who is actually a mechanical parrot that tosses out insult upon insult - all motion activated as you walk bye, it's extra special when insults match up to the one that triggers the response --- like the UPS lady walking by and then you hear the parrot (which moves it's lips to the words) say "hey baby --- show us your T-ts"

            or when a heavy set customer makes the mistake of getting within sensor range (which does happen more often with the heavy set people) and triggers the lard-ars response...

            as far as just hanging out there - we've all been insulted so many times it's not all that big of a deal anymore - just hang your head low and listen to the end of the heckling and get on with the rest of your day... trying not to trip him off again...

            This world has become way too politically correct --- my buddy is trying to put a stop to all that nonsense... kudo's to him...

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            • #7
              I just hang out here to hopefully learn something about metalworking.

              My passion is woodworking.

              I have these signs posted on most of my stationary power tools. "DO NOT USE REMAINING FINGERS AS PUSH STICKS"

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              • #8
                A sign in my shop would indicate that others would actually be in my shop using my tools. That is simply not permitted.

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                • #9
                  Originally posted by 6270 Productions View Post
                  I just hang out here to hopefully learn something about metalworking.

                  My passion is woodworking.

                  I have these signs posted on most of my stationary power tools. "DO NOT USE REMAINING FINGERS AS PUSH STICKS"
                  yup, there is people that actually do that.....
                  I had a table saw kickback that threw a piece out of my garage, across the street, and stuck in the opposite neighbors front yard.
                  And yet I see people with their fingers bandaged up, with stitches, and I somewhat feel like a jerk because I just walk away,,,,,,,,
                  What else does someone need to understand this stuff??

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                  • #10
                    I don't have a picture, but in one shop I worked at, every single grinder had a sign that said, "Do not stop the grinding wheel with your hand, even if you are wearing gloves." Yikes! If you have to post signs like that, perhaps you're hiring morons.

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                    • #11
                      While this one, which I don't really have but saw somewhere years ago, is dealing with computers, it could just as well apply to machine tools. At any rate I think it's funny.

                      The original:

                      ACHTUNG! ALLES LOOKENSPEEPERS!

                      Das computermachine ist nicht fuer gefingerpoken und mitten grabben.

                      Ist easy schnappen der springen werk, blowenfusen und poppencorken mit spitzensparken.

                      Ist nicht fuer gewerken bei das dumpkopfen.

                      Das rubbernecken sichtseeren keepen das cotten-pickenen hans in das pockets muss; relaxen und watchen das blinkenlichten.

                      My translation:
                      Attention all you onlookers!

                      The computer is not for poking with your fingers or grabbing with your hands.

                      It is easy to snap the spring works, blow the fuses with popping sounds and spitting sparks everywhere.

                      It is not for use by dummies.

                      You rubberneckers and sightseers must keep your cotten-picken hands in your pockets; just relax and watch the blinking lights.
                      Lynn (Huntsville, AL)

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                      • #12
                        Originally posted by jmm03 View Post
                        not a shop sign, but I had to write"no aluminum, pinhead" on my abrasive wheel chopsaw.
                        goes good with the "8TPI doesn't cut steel" sign I used to have on an aluminum-only vertical bandsaw. Or the "I am a 6-flute countersink and DO NOT CUT ALUMINUM" on the box of multi-fluters at work.
                        -paul

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                        • #13
                          I gave this one to a mechanic friend for Christmas last year.

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                          • #14
                            Back in the old days I had several signs in my shop. "This is not Burger King - you get things my way." "Mickey Mouse does not work here." I wish I had had on of these as well.
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                            • #15
                              Great topic...
                              Now, where can I buy some?

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