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  • OT- wife jokes

    I love good wife jokes. Nothing offensive. More like a joke even the wives would laugh at. Something like:
    My wife asked me to buy her a watch for her birthday. I said why? There is a clock on the microwave 😁

  • #2
    The biggest wife joke is when guys here post that they have to ask their wife's permission to buy something.
    Get your balls out of her purse. Utterly disgraceful. If you married the right woman, you would not be asking
    for permission.

    -Doozer
    DZER

    Comment


    • #3
      Marriage is like poker - In the beginning, all you need is 2 hearts and a diamond. Before it's over, you may be looking for a club and a spade...
      Kansas City area

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      • #4
        Guy's bragging to a new acquaintance: 'Yup, my wife's a perfect angel'.
        The other guy: 'Yer lucky, mine's still alive'.
        Southwest Utah

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        • #5
          Originally posted by Doozer View Post
          The biggest wife joke is when guys here post that they have to ask their wife's permission to buy something.
          Get your balls out of her purse. Utterly disgraceful. If you married the right woman, you would not be asking
          for permission.

          -Doozer
          Ha! You, sir, do not understand women or marriage.
          Southwest Utah

          Comment


          • #6
            Originally posted by Doozer View Post
            The biggest wife joke is when guys here post that they have to ask their wife's permission to buy something.
            Get your balls out of her purse. Utterly disgraceful. If you married the right woman, you would not be asking
            for permission.

            -Doozer
            I NEVER have to ask my wife about a shop purchase. She know my tools have paid for themselves many times over.

            Comment


            • #7
              I never need to ask permission from my wife to buy anything either.

              I wear the pants in our household. She just tells me which pair I'll be wearing.

              Comment


              • #8
                What always cracked me up reading for sale adds is when the seller says "Wife says it's gotta go"

                JL.....................

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                • #9
                  Originally posted by Doozer View Post
                  The biggest wife joke is when guys here post that they have to ask their wife's permission to buy something.
                  Get your balls out of her purse. Utterly disgraceful. If you married the right woman, you would not be asking
                  for permission.

                  -Doozer
                  A great many things are explained by this post...........



                  1601 2137 5683 1002 1437

                  Keep eye on ball.
                  Hashim Khan

                  If you look closely at a digital signal, you find out it is really analog......

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                  • #10
                    I once told someone while my wife was standing right next to me that everything I own is for sale except my wife.....my wife smiled and the other people smiled and said how sweet. Then I said yup the wife isn't for sale. Her I would give away! My ribs healed up fine thanks.
                    Location: The Black Forest in Germany

                    How to become a millionaire: Start out with 10 million and take up machining as a hobby!

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                    • #11
                      I'm married 36 years. I wouldn't even THINK of looking at another woman. That's how discouraged I am.

                      Comment


                      • #12
                        No woman is going to hold me back in the pursuits of my happiness in this world.
                        Wether it be a machine or truck or tractor, a building or some land, whatever.
                        And I likewise will never hold any woman back for their worldly pursuits.
                        You can both share certain things, but you have the God given right of freedom
                        to have your things and dreams. If someone is crushing you down, but you keep
                        her around because she touches your dick and shows you her tlts, maybe you
                        need to re-evaluate what makes you happy. Maybe you have a weakness
                        that prevents you from exploring your dreams. You only have so many years
                        on this earth. Don't be shackled by guilt and temporary gratification.

                        -D
                        DZER

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                        • #13
                          Originally posted by J Tiers View Post

                          A great many things are explained by this post...........


                          That was my immediate thought as well.
                          Regards, Marv

                          Home Shop Freeware - Tools for People Who Build Things
                          http://www.myvirtualnetwork.com/mklotz

                          Location: LA, CA, USA

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                          • #14
                            Originally posted by Doozer View Post
                            No woman is going to hold me back. . .
                            You're past the age of ever 'getting it', but for the lucky ones among us, we take great satisfaction in the team effort between man and wife, there is no 'holding me back', just being more than I could ever be alone. The whole is definitely greater than the sum, but along the way there is a lot of give and take. It isn't always easy, but its always worth it. 42 years with the same person and looking forward to decades more.

                            The truth is, its not for everyone so if you're happy, good on-ya. Hope that happiness lasts as long as you do.

                            Southwest Utah

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                            • #15
                              I once told my wife that I always thought I would marry a Colombian woman (she's Ecuadorian). That got me 3 weeks of peace and quiet, no sex though.

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