No announcement yet.

[OT] Unfortunate Diagnosis

  • Filter
  • Time
  • Show
Clear All
new posts

  • [OT] Unfortunate Diagnosis

    I got some bad news recently. It's difficult to post about this, but I thought you all should know what I've been going through. From my Facebook post January 14:
    For the last several months I have been experiencing some abdominal discomfort, especially when lying on my left side. I thought it might be due to my hiatal hernia, but I had an endoscopy and colonoscopy which were normal. The pain increased, and I had a CT scan November 30, which revealed a mild to moderate pleural effusion around my right lung. I had a thorocentesis December 22, where 1400 ml of fluid was drained. When I went to my pulmonary specialist December 30, he informed me that it was, unfortunately, cancer. Today I saw an oncologist who said it was a malignant pleural effusion, and I am scheduled for a PETCT which may determine more precisely what is going on, but he said that surgery is not an option and I will probably need to undergo chemotherapy, which may slow the progression, but not cure the disease. From what I have researched, prognosis is poor, and perhaps I have 4-6 months to live. The end will be just palliative care.

    As you might understand, I am in shock, but I had a bad feeling about this and I haven't really felt like doing very much. I hardly know where to begin, but I will need to sort some things out. Fortunately there is no one that depends on me, except my dogs Griffey and Nyke. I'll have to find someone to take care of them when I am no longer able to do so. I do have enough money and assets to provide for them for the rest of their lives. I guess my sister and BIL will have to deal with my houses and belongings.

    Sorry to be the bearer of bad news, but hopefully some of you might be able to help in some way. Thanks.
    Since that time, I have had more tests, and it seems I have a mutation of the RET gene, and there is a new drug that specifically targets this. It is not a cure, but may delay the progression of the disease for several months and perhaps a year. I have been approved to get this free from the manufacturer through their "Lilly Cares" program. The list price for a 30 day supply is about $20,000 and through my insurance I would have a $3300 co-pay.

    I have been hesitant to post this, and instead of an outpouring of sympathy and encouragement, I would prefer a discussion of the practical aspects of dealing with the disposition of my property and belongings, particularly my machine and hand tools, electronic equipment, components, and materials. My sister and BIL will handle most of the details, but I plan to set things up so that my friend John can remain here for up to a year to maintain the property and supervise anyone who may want to look at what I have so they may find good homes for things. I plan to make some walk-through videos showing some of what I have, and certainly I hope some of my friends here may be able to help. I have a strong attachment to my "stuff" and I hate to think of everything being dumped in a landfill or simply auctioned off in random lots, but that may very well happen. I plan to donate my 2.5 acre wooded property to Nature Conservancy, possibly as a nature preserve, and the rest of my estate will be split between my sister and animal rescue organizations such as ASPCA or local shelters.

    It would be best to convey details via PM, but general discussion may be continued on the forum. Thanks.
    Paul , P S Technology, Inc. and MrTibbs
    USA Maryland 21030

  • #2
    PSTechPaul: My heart goes out to you in this difficult time that we all must face sooner than we like. I wish there was something to say that eases you situation, but unfortunately there are few such words. Hang in there, brother, like Red Green says, we're all pulling for you.


    • #3
      Very sorry to hear this news. A good friend of mine passed away last year and he was an avid woodworker with an incredible assortment of tools. I have been trying to help his wife figure out what to do with all of them as he was taken ill before he could make any plans. I really like good tools but I decided a long time ago not to be a collector of tools I'd never use and pared it all down to a modest amount that I plan to pass on to my grandson that been more like a son to me because his sperm donor left before he was born.

      If there is any way I can help you out please don't be afraid to reach out. Even if you just need to talk to someone about other stuff.

      Gary H. Lucas


      • #4
        May God bless,
        I going thru somewhat of the similar thing. My Dad and all his brothers had a cancer of some kind, none had the same cancer, but all had some form of it.
        I'm waiting for my turn, so to speak.
        In the meantime, I also have assets that I would hate to see given away nor sold for a pence. I have a similar thread on this website.
        The most common items I hear so far, is to hang a tag on each item indicating your fair price, and color coding assessories connected with each machine as to stay together as a complete tooled machine.
        Sell the high value items now, as to get your own fair value price, barter at your own pace, and keep the smaller stuff to tinker with
        Leave a listing of your best known means to sell the stuff, document it, and leave your relative(s) a path to best sell it all.
        The higher priced stuff I have sold off at my own price, the lesser items been documented such that they may list on Ebay with good pic & descriptions.


        • #5
          Paul, there's not much I can say or do except offer you my heartfelt condolences. You've done all of us a service by being here and giving us the benefit of your knowledge...a true legacy only a few can claim to have done.
          Location: Saskatoon, Saskatchewan, Canada


          • #6
            Wow, sorry to hear your sad news doesn't quite cover it.
            Amazing how insurance can decide to cover a drug so minimally ($3300 copay) or sometimes just not at all.


            • #7
              Originally posted by Arcane View Post
              Paul, there's not much I can say or do except offer you my heartfelt condolences. You've done all of us a service by being here and giving us the benefit of your knowledge...a true legacy only a few can claim to have done.
              X 2 --- but also hoping for a turn around for you and kudos to you wanting to help the critters Paul, me and one of my brothers have this discussion quite a bit lately and were on the same page... You have always been a cool head and a great source of info. and for the side of hope - fat lady ain't singing till she's singing...


              • #8

                If there is any kind of silver lining in this, it is that you apparently have enough warning to deal with your material things in a way that you should be able to feel fairly good about. Most of us don't plan ahead at all, and it is the bewildered relatives and descendants that are left scratching their heads about what something is and what to do with it, on top of their grieving. And thank you for thinking of the Nature Conservancy.
                "A machinist's (WHAP!) best friend (WHAP! WHAP!) is his hammer. (WHAP!)" - Fred Tanner, foreman, Lunenburg Foundry and Engineering machine shop, circa 1979


                • #9
                  The previous owner of the dogs is willing to take them back if/when I can no longer care for them. He still loves them but just might not be able to give them a great deal of attention due to having a young child and infant, and having a full time job.

                  This past year I have been feeling somewhat "down" and most days I haven't felt inspired to do very much more than watch TV and hang out on forums. Occasionally I started a few projects but I often left them partially finished. The Covid situation certainly contributed to my malaise, as did the death of my old dog Mr Tibbs in March, and the tense political goings-on, and I attributed some of my physical symptoms to stress. Might have been a contributory factor. But I also had frequent thoughts about what was the meaning of my life going forward. Now sometimes I struggle to get out of bed, which usually causes chest pain and coughing and general discomfort. I am using Percocet, and it helps me feel better. I hate to be dependent on an opioid, but what the heck. I may also look into medical marijuana or CBD products.

                  My facebook page:
                  Paul , P S Technology, Inc. and MrTibbs
                  USA Maryland 21030


                  • #10
                    So sorry to hear your news, Paul. By all means take any drug you can find that makes you more comfortable. Why not?

                    There are no stupid questions. But there are lots of stupid answers. This is the internet.

                    Location: SF Bay Area


                    • #11
                      Of course we are sorry to see you go. And many of us have had to say good bye to people dear to us. It is never easy. I have had the privilege of knowing some of the finest human beings as the closest of friends. They are all gone. All their stuff is gone. Except that inside me is a crystal clear picture of who they were. They are still with me. Love more fiercely, look into the faces of those dear to you and tell them its okay to cry. Sure take care of stuff. Get things in the hands of friends and all but don’t let it consume the time that remains. I have made fortunes and been busted down to zero twice. I even gave away an entire machine shop. Just invited folks i knew to come in and help themselves. Getting rid of things is easy, holding on to love is hard... work on the love...
                      Last edited by Ironbearmarine; 02-08-2021, 08:38 PM.


                      • #12
                        Paul--I'm very sorry to hear such bad news. You have given a lot to this forum. Good luck, God bless. ---Brian
                        Brian Rupnow
                        Design engineer
                        Barrie, Ontario, Canada


                        • #13
                          This is not set in stone --- and one thing i do know is that if someone does not have hope then they can have their whole life ahead of them and it don't matter, So - fat lady ain't singing till she's actually singing --- iv seen it --- cannot tell you how many times iv seen her rehearsing and warming up the fat globules in her throat only to then see her have to be benched and sit out of the final production (big bench cuz god knows that gurl and eat) - at least for awhile, and for awhile is all any of us have got anyways, Paul, keep yer chin up and fight like fuque,,, it gives every cell in your body the same response --- it's all any of us know how to do, and will naturally increase your odds, and if you fail? You most likely still live way longer than predicted and You go down like Alex Trebek, who say's mild manner'd men can't have huge kahona's ---- guy was a great example...

                          so yeah - get a few ducks in a row for responsibilities sake, probably something allot of us should have done in our 20's lol but keep in mind you got back up in your corner, You fight dude - you fight with attitude like you never fought before,,, and we'll help you... anyone who thinks of the critters is a great man and that you are...


                          • #14
                            Sorry to hear about your situation. As far as your question,

                            I lost my father this past November, all I can say is take the time and sit down with a lawyer and spell out everything in a will that you want/wish to happen. Don’t just tell someone and assume that is what will happen.

                            Also be aware that anything in you leave anyone in the will they will be responsible for taxes on, so if there is stuff you are wanting someone specific to have state giving it away now.

                            Best wishes to you.


                            • #15
                              Paul: I won't presume to advise, but perhaps offer a way to think about the problem. (Sometimes the most important things seem trite, or blindingly obvious, but,) FWIW, (and following on what others have said) you seem to me to have an important choice to make - which may make what follows easier - or at least 'less difficult'.

                              Ensuring your 'stuff' goes to good homes will leave a well deserved legacy even if there's little or no money involved. If you can benefit and inspire a young person undecided about following a trade or technical occupation, the benefit ripples can spread amazingly far and wide.

                              OTOH, if you have a trusted and knowledgeable friend who can find good purchasers for fair value, you can maximize the value of your financial legacy to your sister and those such as the ASPCA - which in these troubled times is no small thing.

                              My father, before he passed, helped several friends (or their widows) with this issue - what was 'right' for each donor was different - but my father's ongoing worry was the donor really wanted - and we are fortunate that you can choose, and say.

                              As it happened, my father chose to 're-home' virtually all of his tools and 'stuff' with me, and there's never a day in my shop that his legacy doesn't remind me of him. If he had not left my mother well provided for though, there would have been no issue that maximizing value to ensure her well being would have been the better, and only choice.

                              The two approaches are not mutually exclusive of course, but if your sister and BIL are reasonably well situated, you could consider focusing on 're-homing' rather than maximizing the financial value. There are many who would treasure, or be inspired by a memento or two from your shop to theirs, especially items they could not or would not buy for themselves.

                              However, while a money donation or bequest becomes all too soon anonymous, the good it can do is tangible, and cannot be overstated.

                              One possibility might be to consider adding to your list of beneficiaries - is there a technical or trade school nearby that would benefit from a scholarship or bursary fund from the proceeds of your estate?

                              Hope this helps.