A question of etiquette - for the more experienced members!

[Cenedd]

You know how if you have to borrow a tool, you make sure that you return it clean, serviceable and with as many if not more consumables (if applicable) as you were loaned it with?*
Further that if someone borrows your tools, if they return them in an appalling state, they get put on a list**.
Well, my question for the experience members is this: what happens when the person returning tools in a reprehensible state.....is your wife?!


*I have faith that your very membership of this forum means you're likely to share this ethos.
**could be a blacklist, excommunicate list or hit list - depending on your disposition and the severity of the sin!

[old mart]

Just lend her your less treasured tools, she won't know the difference.

[Beazld]

As a professional tool salesman for 42 years, and someone who appreciates a good tool and abhors tool abuse, my darling wife is the worst abuser of tools that I have known. Consequently when She Who Must Be Obeyed needs a tool she gets the stuff I don’t care about or I buy her the cheapest one I can find. She constantly leaves tools out in the weather and I have to de-rust, resharpen, and rehab them. Short of finding a new significant other which I can’t afford, I have resigned myself to the situation. Tools are cheaper than attorneys.

[Cenedd]

old mart True. I'll have to buy some less treasured tools for the purpose. Always find it hard knowingly buying substandard stuff!
Beazld That's certainly right on the money! Also, the good (in every other way!) replacements are so hard to find!

I never thought it was even possible to trash a Stanley knife! Turns out it is. You simply drizzle liberally with gloss paint - making sure to get all the different surfaces affected - and then half-arsedly wipe down with white spirit. Making sure, of course, to not actually remove most of the paint but also turn the rubber grip permanently sticky too.
Sanders can be put away in the loft with the collection box chock full and the filter packed with paint dust. T'is hand-sanding from now on for you missy! ;-P

[reggie_obe]

She buys her own tools from hence forth. Start her toolbox off with the knife she ruined. Keep yours locked away as best as you can.

[nickel-city-fab]

Long ago, I started keeping 2 sets of tools: the "loaners" and the Good Stuff(TM). The loaners all came from the dollar bin specials. Every time I run across a bin full of specials I buy a few more. The Good Stuff both at work and at home, stays locked up. *nobody* else gets to use those.

[Mcgyver]

you could just tell here next time, sorry you had your chance......but I suggest doing job for her or just have a box of harbour freight stuff handy for when she asks

[J Tiers]

Obviously needs a "small discussion".... with a specific place to put them when done with them.... even for the cheap stuff. Paint the cheapies a specific color, and put them in a matching toolbox.

I don't have further suggestions..... My wife knows how to use tools, which one is for what, and she puts them back clean. Her father was a diesel mechanic, and she tore down and rebuilt some vehicles with him. Knowing him, I think good tool habits were "encouraged" at an early age........😁

[A.K. Boomer]

The "treatment" depends on the woman --- if she's equal rights always complaining about not being treated the same and wanting to be treated same as "the guys" then let her have it... it's clear she either devalue's herself or does not understand the implications and needs a "wake up call" although very possible that she knows exactly what she's doing and is playing both sides of the fence to her advantage --- like "don't treat me as an equal - put me on a pedestal" AND give me any advantages of being an equal... lotta that going around nowadays...

However --- if she recognizes that guys and gals are totally apples and oranges different and BOTH have extreme uniqueness and advantages over the other and *she likes to cook and keep a clean house then DO keep putting her up on that pedestal --- and laugh her little mistakes off, in fact tell her you LIKE the new graphics on the stanley knife and that she could go into art work if she wanted,
and although the sticky handle does require the other hand to remove it when your done or want to change it's positioning slightly that you now consider it a "non-slip safety factor" and don't know how you ever got along without it - and in fact without her... compliment her on the fact that she was most likely taking the initiative to work on something around the house or in the yard (as long as she was not trying to kill the dog with the knife)

Just my two cents... but keep in mind im an old bachelor for a reason, always fun to dabble - just don't think I will be moving one in anytime soon lol

[jmm03]

just accept the fact that unfortunately other people don't have the same attitude towards your tools and keep track of them yourself. I made my daughter a tool kit of her own so that she would not have to go on a sometimes futile search through my son in laws tool pile. Now she has to anyway because he "borrows " tools from her and they end up who knows where...

[Georgineer]

We work as a team. My wife loves cooking - in fact she's baking a simnel cake for Easter even as I write this - and I love working with tools, so we've never had a problem. My daughter the engineer was brought up properly - she has her own tools, looks after any she borrows, and returns them in good order..

George B.

[Black Forest]

She needs her own toolbox and tools. Or you need to be clear that if she needs something fixed or worked on she should ask you to do it. My wife doesn't like tools thank God. She also knows not to send one of our inside people to even ask to borrow any tool....My shop is off limits to anyone except our daughter. She knows how to use tools and always puts them back where she found them. My wife does have her own toolbox for inside repairs. The worst for me is when the help tries to be helpful and fix things themselves. If they were knowledgeable it would be OK but they ain't ! One time a few years ago we had a nice woman that worked inside and something needed fixed in the house and she went to my shop and got some tools to fix it herself. My wife found her working on whatever it was and asked where she got the tools. Mandy told my wife she got them from my shop. My wife asked her if she asked me and Mandy told her I wasn't there. My wife very quietly told her to put the tools back right away and never mention it to me. Of course my wife told me all about it and we laughed. Later when I saw Mandy was in the kitchen helping my wife I very loudly asked who used my tools! I boomed someone put a screwdriver back facing the wrong way. My wife gave me the evil eye to stop torturing the poor woman.

[Cenedd]

Dead jealous of those with wives or daughters that appreciate and look after tools. For the record, I'm not planning to do anything about it and know well enough not to push my luck. However, the idea of a separate toolbox of throw-aways is something I might borrow - not for my wife but for my son....when he gets old enough to use them for productive things! Last thing I want to find is my decent calipers being used as a monkey wrench!

[Jonesy]

what happens when the person returning tools in a reprehensible state.....is your wife?!

Your wife actually returns the tools she borrows?

A miracle round these parts.

[Arcane]

You borrow something of hers and return it in the same state she returned your tools...