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  • OT - Mental Heath

    Had a friend and co-worker take his own life last night. I’m not going to get into the details, but I just wanted to take the opportunity to say that if you need help please be honest with yourself and reach out for help. I know there can be a stigma associated with admitting you need help, especially among the older generations, but no man is an island and we all need support at some time or another. Suicide is not the answer.

    George, feel free to lock this. I’ve said my bit.
    Cayuga, Ontario, Canada

  • #2
    Some reach out for help to find those around them are not listening.

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    • #3
      Originally posted by reggie_obe View Post
      Some reach out for help to find those around them are not listening.
      Although that is doubtless true, that strikes me as an incredible insensitive thing to post given that the OP just lost a friend and coworker.

      Tom S - I'm really sorry for your loss. Losing someone unexpectedly is hard enough and to lose them to suicide only makes it harder. I will just say that you may find you need to heed your own advice, at least in as much as talking with a counselor may be helpful. These situations can often result in misplaced feelings of guilt - in some cases an almost crippling feeling of guilt. If a counselor isn't appropriate, I at least hope you have someone close to you that you can talk with about your loss. If not, I am sure most of the folks on this forum will be supportive and kind listeners.

      Comment


      • #4
        Originally posted by Fasttrack View Post

        Although that is doubtless true, that strikes me as an incredible insensitive thing to post given that the OP just lost a friend and coworker.

        Tom S - I'm really sorry for your loss. Losing someone unexpectedly is hard enough and to lose them to suicide only makes it harder. I will just say that you may find you need to heed your own advice, at least in as much as talking with a counselor may be helpful. These situations can often result in misplaced feelings of guilt - in some cases an almost crippling feeling of guilt. If a counselor isn't appropriate, I at least hope you have someone close to you that you can talk with about your loss. If not, I am sure most of the folks on this forum will be supportive and kind listeners.
        Hardly.
        Good example right here on HSM. One member was telling of the pressure he was under and relating some of the problems in his life. Another, a drunken douche,, "shouted" don't tell me man, I got my own issues, don't care to hear about yours.

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        • #5
          Fasttrack Thanks. I’ve got a couple good friends looking out for me and I’m looking out for another coworker. I’m as guilty of anyone of the hubris of not admitting needing help, which is why I said what I did. Get some good friends for yourself and take the time to have actual conversations once and a while, it’s something that many men are lacking these days.

          reggie_obe can we just leave it there and try to do better next time? The internet is full of arseholes, let’s make the conscious decision not to be one and to do what we can to be a positive influence on others.
          Cayuga, Ontario, Canada

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          • #6
            Originally posted by Tom S View Post
            Fasttrack Thanks. I’ve got a couple good friends looking out for me and I’m looking out for another coworker. I’m as guilty of anyone of the hubris of not admitting needing help, which is why I said what I did. Get some good friends for yourself and take the time to have actual conversations once and a while, it’s something that many men are lacking these days.

            reggie_obe can we just leave it there and try to do better next time? The internet is full of arseholes, let’s make the conscious decision not to be one and to do what we can to be a positive influence on others.
            Wasn't directed towards you, but people in general.
            Absolutely. Done.

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            • #7
              Originally posted by Fasttrack View Post

              Although that is doubtless true, that strikes me as an incredible insensitive thing to post given that the OP just lost a friend and coworker.

              Tom S - I'm really sorry for your loss. Losing someone unexpectedly is hard enough and to lose them to suicide only makes it harder. I will just say that you may find you need to heed your own advice, at least in as much as talking with a counselor may be helpful. These situations can often result in misplaced feelings of guilt - in some cases an almost crippling feeling of guilt. If a counselor isn't appropriate, I at least hope you have someone close to you that you can talk with about your loss. If not, I am sure most of the folks on this forum will be supportive and kind listeners.
              Unfortunately it is sometimes true, people who are not familiar with mental illness don't see the signs.

              I was very close to giving myself a 12 gauge haircut years ago. My wife forced me to go to the doctor who recognized the type of symptoms and removed the offending allergy medication. Turned out I'm a clinical depressive, I can't take antihistamines anymore. A month later I was seeing bluebirds flying around my head while being a very happy camper (not literally) on rainy days.I have known 7 people that have killed themselves, some family, some friends and some coworkers.

              Mental illness sucks.
              The shortest distance between two points is a circle of infinite diameter.

              Bluewater Model Engineering Society at https://sites.google.com/site/bluewatermes/

              Southwestern Ontario. Canada

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              • #8
                Sorry for your loss Tom.

                Still a long way to go, but mental health is slowly losing the stigma surrounding it, and being brought out into the light where it should be.

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                • #9
                  Originally posted by loose nut View Post

                  Unfortunately it is sometimes true, people who are not familiar with mental illness don't see the signs.

                  I was very close to giving myself a 12 gauge haircut years ago. My wife forced me to go to the doctor who recognized the type of symptoms and removed the offending allergy medication. Turned out I'm a clinical depressive, I can't take antihistamines anymore. A month later I was seeing bluebirds flying around my head while being a very happy camper (not literally) on rainy days.I have known 7 people that have killed themselves, some family, some friends and some coworkers.

                  Mental illness sucks.
                  I'm glad your wife was there for you in your time of need and that you are still here to post on the forum!

                  Mental illness runs in my family and I know a little something of what it's like to be in both positions - inside looking out and outside looking in, so to speak. So while I definitely agree that it's true we sometimes miss the signs or don't recognize it when someone is reaching out for help, I'm just not sure that's what Tom S. needs to hear right now, especially since we don't know (and don't need to know) the details. We can't undo what's been done but we can try and support those who are left behind. Just my $0.02 - not trying to start an argument, just want to offer support.

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                  • #10
                    Originally posted by reggie_obe View Post

                    Hardly.
                    Good example right here on HSM. One member was telling of the pressure he was under and relating some of the problems in his life. Another, a drunken douche,, "shouted" don't tell me man, I got my own issues, don't care to hear about yours.
                    I remember something like that.

                    -D
                    DZER

                    Comment


                    • #11
                      Simone Biles has set a good example by withdrawing from the Olympics team gymnastics competition in order to address mental health issues.

                      Sorry for the loss of your friend.
                      http://pauleschoen.com/pix/PM08_P76_P54.png
                      Paul , P S Technology, Inc. and MrTibbs
                      USA Maryland 21030

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                      • #12
                        depression is not a trivial deal. It's extremely hard to get out of and can be a downward spiral once it starts. Typically the way out of the hole is medication until the underlying causes can be resolved.

                        Sorry for your loss Tom, I wouldn't wish that on anyone

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                        • #13
                          I’ve been helping a friend that suffers from crippling anxiety which leads to alcoholism and depression.

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                          • #14
                            Originally posted by RB211 View Post
                            I’ve been helping a friend that suffers from crippling anxiety which leads to alcoholism and depression.
                            I have gone through that myself about 15 yrs ago.
                            Since recovering, I have volunteered to give counselling (listening) those in need.
                            Been there, done that.
                            Never want to feel that way again, nobody should have to go through that
                            God granted me the serenity to accept the things I couldn't change....
                            25 miles north of Buffalo NY, USA

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                            • #15
                              While I have my own issues, my wife is a therapist who runs a mental health clinic. She see and hears it all. Saddest was the number of parents of our kids classmates who contacted her for referrals as the kids became teens. At least for teens you can tell them, from experience, 'it gets better, really'. It can make the difference. I had a college age friend in the early 90s kill himself because he couldn't come out as gay. Hard to fathom for a kid raised in Manhattan, but it just show how messed up we are.

                              It's much harder to make the case 'it gets better' for someone in middle age. We don't change so easily. And especially for men, many of us have been struggling with undiagnosed clinical conditions for most of our lives.
                              Location: Jersey City NJ USA

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