Announcement

Collapse
No announcement yet.

I hope I don't have to go to the ER in the next week or so.

Collapse
X
 
  • Filter
  • Time
  • Show
Clear All
new posts

  • I hope I don't have to go to the ER in the next week or so.

    I was sitting at my work bench doing some layout lines on some parts I was about to process. I got out the old Dykem bottle and started covering parts with blue dye. I coated one side of some stock and was allowing it to dry before making the layout lines. I was going to coat another bit of stock so I left the Dykem with the cap loose in the bottle. I leaned forward to grab the next bit of stock, and while leaning back I managed to snag the bottle of Dykem and sweep it off the table. Into my lap. Upside down. And the top had come out.

    *glub glub glub*

    While I sprang up as quickly as I could, the bottle had pretty much managed to discharge it's contents into my lap.

    Did you know that Dykem stings when it touches one's wedding tackle? So I quick stripped out of my shoes, pants and underwear to discover that my manly bits were all a beautiful dark navy blue. Along with my thighs, and probably the perineum as well. Application of paper towels proved less than useful...

    Fortunately we live way out in the boonies. So, I put my shoes back on and walked back to the house. The gods were not kind. My dear wife was in the kitchen when I entered through the back door. She took one look at me and asked "Are you okay?". I said "Yes, it's not dangerous." Then she proceeded to try to stifle a laugh, and then went into gales of deep laughter... Somewhere in the next 10 minutes she made a comment about Mel Gibson painting his face blue in Brave Heart, except I had gotten it wrong I was showing "Brave Parts". My male ego was thoroughly abused for the next eternity while she kept finding new jokes at my expense.

    After that I went for a shower. It turns out that soap and water doesn't do a good job at removing Dykem from skin. I found that forceful scrubbing with a stiff bristled nylon brush was capable of removing most of the color from my thighs and lower abdomen. However, my favorite party toys were not going to receive the same treatment. So, the dangly bits are still blue.

    As I said in the subject line, I hope I don't get hit by a car and get taken to the ER. I can only imagine that hilarity would ensue...

    And NO... I will not post a dick pic in ANY forum, so don't ask.

  • #2
    Just tell them you're into colloidal silver, and you're not all blue yet-
    I seldom do anything within the scope of logical reason and calculated cost/benefit, etc- I'm following my passion-

    Comment


    • #3
      I hope I never have to use it in anger, but when I built my shop I included a shower. Not so much for chemical or incendiary menageries, but so that it could be more easily converted into a garden suite to rent out when we sell the house or when I'm too far gone to use a workshop. But still, it's there on hand if need arises.

      Whoa! autocorrupt! Emergencies, I've already got menageries!
      Last edited by mickeyf; 10-12-2021, 08:44 PM.
      "A machinist's (WHAP!) best friend (WHAP! WHAP!) is his hammer. (WHAP!)" - Fred Tanner, foreman, Lunenburg Foundry and Engineering machine shop, circa 1979

      Comment


      • #4
        Old shop teachers always bought small bottles of Dykem, and refilled them from larger bottles, because they knew some kid was going to have an accident, and they wanted to limit the damage. I think of this every time I pull out my big bottle. I hope it works out well for you, and thanks for the well written tale!

        Jerry

        Comment


        • #5
          Oh, man. I feel for you (not in that way).

          Dykem comes off (no pun) with plenty of alcohol. Try 90% rubbing alcohol once daily. It's what I use in my shop for removing it. Only costs $1 or two. Heck even cheap aftershave might work. Maybe have a shot of bourbon or scotch first.

          She'll have her turn someday. For now you can tell her it's molting to twice the size.
          Last edited by nickel-city-fab; 10-12-2021, 06:25 PM.
          25 miles north of Buffalo NY, USA

          Comment


          • #6
            Reminds me of the joke, where a guy went to the doctor's and said,

            "Doc, I'm getting so fat I can't see my dick anymore."

            He replied, "Why don't you diet?"

            So he said, "Yeah, good idea - dye it! What color?"
            http://pauleschoen.com/pix/PM08_P76_P54.png
            Paul , P S Technology, Inc. and MrTibbs
            USA Maryland 21030

            Comment


            • #7
              Got blueballs from your shop, eh? I miss mine too sometimes, but never that badly mate. Haha.
              21" Royersford Excelsior CamelBack Drillpress Restoration
              1943 Sidney 16x54 Lathe Restoration

              Comment


              • #8
                Originally posted by nickel-city-fab View Post
                Dykem comes off (no pun) with plenty of alcohol.
                Better to "tea bag" it in hot acetone. Trust me.

                Comment


                • #9
                  Originally posted by tomato coupe View Post
                  Better to "tea bag" it in hot acetone. Trust me.
                  Nah, i'll pass on that one -- seriously, the rubbing alcohol works for me, I always keep a bottle in the shop for the Dykem and to clean the surface plate
                  25 miles north of Buffalo NY, USA

                  Comment


                  • #10
                    At least if you did end up in the ER the surgeons would likely appreciate being able to lay out the incision lines more easily. LOL

                    Home, down in the valley behind the Red Angus
                    Bad Decisions Make Good Stories​

                    Location: British Columbia

                    Comment


                    • #11
                      Originally posted by The Metal Butcher View Post
                      Got blueballs from your shop, eh? I miss mine too sometimes, but never that badly mate. Haha.
                      Worst prank I ever saw on the job. The biggest dick in the shop finally got it. He was pretty regular, and the 1930's gas chamber/ bathroom had the old school toilets with black seats. So some smart aleck got in there right before the other guy did, and smeared a very thin layer of prussian blue on the seat. Different kind of surface plate I guess. The jerk was quiet after that.
                      25 miles north of Buffalo NY, USA

                      Comment


                      • #12
                        Did your wife say "I don't know where you have been, but it looks like you took 1st place?

                        Comment


                        • #13
                          Originally posted by Tungsten dipper View Post
                          Did your wife say "I don't know where you have been, but it looks like you took 1st place?
                          That's what happens when you go camping with smurfs.
                          25 miles north of Buffalo NY, USA

                          Comment


                          • #14
                            Thank you, thank you. I just read that OP to my wife and my son who had stopped by for a visit. All of us laughing so hard we couldn't see through the tears. Well written, sir!
                            Southwest Utah

                            Comment


                            • #15
                              ...https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BinWA0EenDY

                              Comment

                              Working...
                              X