Announcement

Collapse
No announcement yet.

Advice Please Lads

Collapse
X
 
  • Filter
  • Time
  • Show
Clear All
new posts

  • oil mac
    replied
    Peter this reminds me of the Pat & Mick joke, Pat says to Mick, "There is some bloke mixing my phone number up with the coastguard commission, Every time i pick up the phone he says in a low voice is the coast clear ?"

    Leave a comment:


  • .RC.
    replied
    ha ha an oldie but a goodie...

    Leave a comment:


  • Guest's Avatar
    Guest replied
    Advice please lads

    Peter,

    What colour is your bike, please?

    N

    Leave a comment:


  • oldtiffie
    replied
    Good advice

    Peter,

    perhaps this may help too (also in the email) - seems pretty well focused to me:



    Why Men Don't Write Advice Columns in Women's Magazines!

    Dear Walter: I hope you can help me here. The other day, I set off for work leaving my husband in the house watching the TV as usual. I hadn't gone more than a mile down the road when my engine conked out and the car shuddered to a halt. I walked back home to get my husband's help. When I got home I couldn't believe my eyes. He was in our bedroom with the�lady from next door. I am 32, my husband is 34, and we have been married for twelve years.

    When I confronted him, he broke down and admitted that they had been having an affair for the past six months. I told him to stop or I would leave him. He was let go from his job six months ago and he says he has been feeling increasingly depressed and worthless. I love him very much, but ever since I gave him the ultimatum he has become increasingly distant. He won't go to counseling and I'm afraid I can't get through to him anymore.

    Can you please help?

    Sincerely, Sheila

    ---------------------------------------------------

    Dear Sheila: A car stalling after being driven a short distance can be caused by a variety of faults with the engine. Start by checking that there is no debris in the fuel line. If it is clear, check the vacuum pipes and hoses on the intake manifold and also check all grounding wires. If none of these approaches solves the problem, it could be that the fuel pump itself is faulty, causing low delivery pressure to the carburettor float chamber.

    I hope this helps.

    Walter

    Leave a comment:


  • Your Old Dog
    replied
    This tragic tale is reminiscent to me of the one who's wife told him all the new goodies around the house were won at bingo. The new TV, dishwasher, dining room set and washer and dryer all won at bingo. He comes home from work one day and the wife is in taking a bath. He hollers "Why the bath at this hour of the day?" and she says "I'm going to bingo tonight." He says, "Don't get your bingo card wet!"
    Last edited by Your Old Dog; 01-28-2009, 08:29 PM.

    Leave a comment:


  • oldtiffie
    replied
    Hard times

    Peter,
    my commiserations.

    Being a Brit, you may be able to relate to this in OZ (came by email):


    WOMAN'S DIARY

    Saturday 28 July

    Saw him in the evening and he was acting really strangely. I'd been shopping in the afternoon with the girls and was a bit late meeting him, thought it might be that.

    The bar was really crowded and loud, so I suggested we go somewhere quieter to talk. He was still very subdued and distracted so I suggested we went somewhere nice to eat.

    All through dinner he just didn't seem himself - he hardly laughed and didn't seem to be paying any attention to me or to what I was saying, I just knew that something was wrong.

    He dropped me back home and I wondered if he was going to come in, He hesitated but followed.

    I asked him what was wrong, but he just half shook his head and turned the television on.

    After about ten minutes of silence I said that I was going upstairs to bed, I put my arms around him and told him that I loved him deeply, he just gave a sigh and a sad sort of smile.

    He didn't follow me up immediately but came up later and, to my surprise, we made love - but he still seemed distant and a bit cold.

    I cried myself to sleep - I think he's planning to leave me - maybe he's found someone else.


    MAN'S DIARY:

    Saturday 28 July

    Australia lost the cricket.

    Gutted.

    Got a r**t though.

    Leave a comment:


  • bob_s
    replied
    If it's an old Norton, just find a nice deep body of water and push it in! The possibility of being able to ride it that far without it breaking down is just TOO remote.

    Leave a comment:


  • dockrat
    replied
    I wouldn't do anything untill I found out if maybe her new boyfriend ran an automotive paint shop.

    Leave a comment:


  • John Stevenson
    replied
    Originally posted by Peter Neill
    I'm at a bit of a loss as to what to do.

    This may be a strange place to flag such a personal matter, but you seem like a pretty level headed lot so I thought I'd cast the net and see what advice I got.
    OK deep breath.....

    For sometime now I’ve suspected that my wife may be having an affair. You know the sort of thing, the phone rings I answer, someone hangs up.
    Recently she has started going out with the “girls” a lot, and when I ask which girl it’s always “just some friends, you don’t know them”.
    I always used to keep an eye out for her taxi coming home but, now she always walks up to the house although I can hear a car setting off as if she has just got out of one around the corner.
    The other day I picked up her mobile, just to see what time it was, and she went crazy, screaming at me that I should never touch her phone again, and asked why was I checking up on her.

    Anyway, I have never broached the subject with her, I kind of think deep down I don’t really want to know the truth, but then last night she went out again and I decided that I would check up on her.
    Around the time she was due home I decided to hide behind my Bike which I knew would give me a good view of the whole street so I could see which car she got out of on her return. It was while crouched behind my bike that I noticed paint flaking on my rear wheel.

    So...... do you think I should get it powder coated or should I buy some rattle-can paint from Halfords and try to repair it myself ?










    Pepper spray his guide dog..................

    .

    Leave a comment:


  • BobC
    replied
    OK. I admit you got me bad. Shame on you....

    Bob

    Leave a comment:


  • Guest's Avatar
    Guest replied
    I was going to say Slap the bitch til she bled but apparently that was not the advice you were looking for.

    Leave a comment:


  • Evan
    replied
    He yells out "Number 38!"
    ...
    ...
    ...
    ...
    Nobody laughs.


    He turns to his cell mate and asks "How come nobody laughed?"


    His cell mate says "You didn't tell it right"

    Leave a comment:


  • isaac338
    replied
    what kind of bike? if it's an old rustbucket (like all mine), certainly spray bomb it. if it's decent, powder coat for sure.

    Leave a comment:


  • Peter N
    started a topic Advice Please Lads

    Advice Please Lads

    I'm at a bit of a loss as to what to do.

    This may be a strange place to flag such a personal matter, but you seem like a pretty level headed lot so I thought I'd cast the net and see what advice I got.
    OK deep breath.....

    For sometime now I’ve suspected that my wife may be having an affair. You know the sort of thing, the phone rings I answer, someone hangs up.
    Recently she has started going out with the “girls” a lot, and when I ask which girl it’s always “just some friends, you don’t know them”.
    I always used to keep an eye out for her taxi coming home but, now she always walks up to the house although I can hear a car setting off as if she has just got out of one around the corner.
    The other day I picked up her mobile, just to see what time it was, and she went crazy, screaming at me that I should never touch her phone again, and asked why was I checking up on her.

    Anyway, I have never broached the subject with her, I kind of think deep down I don’t really want to know the truth, but then last night she went out again and I decided that I would check up on her.
    Around the time she was due home I decided to hide behind my Bike which I knew would give me a good view of the whole street so I could see which car she got out of on her return. It was while crouched behind my bike that I noticed paint flaking on my rear wheel.

    So...... do you think I should get it powder coated or should I buy some rattle-can paint from Halfords and try to repair it myself ?










Working...
X