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  • OT pulled a good one on the wife...

    Recently the wife has taken an interest in submarines. Seriously. The book she's reading now is Blind Man's Bluff which is about some of the scary high-risk spy missions we allegedly undertook for national security.

    (I have no doubt we did some wacky **** in the name of security but this book triggers my BS sensor in a couple of places, I think the interviewees were pulling some legs!)


    Anyway, she's reading the part about how they think they figured out what sank the Scorpion. She asks me how would they test such a thing, the book was vague about how they actually did the testing.


    I explained that they have a big rig that holds down a torpedo and they run the engine on that and observe the results from a safe distance... and that this was the responsibility of the Operational Maneuver Group Weapons Testing Facility Bureau of Basic Quality.

    OMGWTFBBQ.

    Just got an email from her: THERE IS NO "Operational Maneuver Group Weapons Testing Facility Bureau of Basic Quality" YOU %&(*&(!!!


    ...I think I'm in trouble.
    This product has been determined by the state of California to cause permanent irreversible death. This statement may or may not be recognized as valid by all states.
    Heirs of an old war/that's what we've become Inheriting troubles I'm mentally numb
    Plastic Operators Dot Com

  • #2
    Haha, that's a good one.

    Many years ago when i ran a auto service repair I told my new wife that she needed to take her car to the dealership to have the winter air taken out of her tires and summer air put in, that I would do it but did not have the equipment, which she politely did.
    Needless to say more

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    • #3
      So how was it, sleeping on the couch the next couple of weeks?
      Lynn (Huntsville, AL)

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      • #4
        Originally posted by lynnl
        So how was it, sleeping on the couch the next couple of weeks?
        Oh this is just the opening shot in another round of epic practical jokes, misinformation and general mayhem.
        This product has been determined by the state of California to cause permanent irreversible death. This statement may or may not be recognized as valid by all states.
        Heirs of an old war/that's what we've become Inheriting troubles I'm mentally numb
        Plastic Operators Dot Com

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        • #5
          Where's the picture?

          BTW, if you need a way to get back in um, bed, rent the movie Das Boot.
          Last edited by Evan; 07-20-2009, 02:58 PM.
          Free software for calculating bolt circles and similar: Click Here

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          • #6
            Not really a practical joke, but I'm reminded of our R&R meeting about 2/3 of the way through my Vietnam tour (May 1970), when my wife and I met for a 2nd honeymoon in Hawaii. We were driving around on the island through large pineapple farms and she asked what those were. When I told her she said, "Oh they are not! ...pineapples grow on trees silly!"

            She's not really a blond, but she did have her hair frosted back then.

            She doesn't appreciate me bringing that story up every now and then, for some reason.
            Lynn (Huntsville, AL)

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            • #7
              Ibbcpw

              That reminds me of the time we we driving across the Ohio Turnpike and encountered several miles of road construction barrels, without equipment or construction workers being encountered. My friend's girlfriend (now wife) questioned why there would be miles of barrels for no apparent reason. I answered "It's in the union contract with the IBBCPW -- the International Brotherhood of Barrel and Cone Placement Workers. They have a set number of miles to place every day, per the contract". "Oh!" And order was restored to her world... Until both my friend and I couldn't keep a straight face any longer.

              -Mike

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              • #8
                Originally posted by Liger Zero
                Recently the wife has taken an interest in submarines. Seriously. The book she's reading now is Blind Man's Bluff which is about some of the scary high-risk spy missions we allegedly undertook for national security.

                (I have no doubt we did some wacky **** in the name of security but this book triggers my BS sensor in a couple of places, I think the interviewees were pulling some legs!)


                Anyway, she's reading the part about how they think they figured out what sank the Scorpion. She asks me how would they test such a thing, the book was vague about how they actually did the testing.


                I explained that they have a big rig that holds down a torpedo and they run the engine on that and observe the results from a safe distance... and that this was the responsibility of the Operational Maneuver Group Weapons Testing Facility Bureau of Basic Quality.

                OMGWTFBBQ.

                Just got an email from her: THERE IS NO "Operational Maneuver Group Weapons Testing Facility Bureau of Basic Quality" YOU %&(*&(!!!


                ...I think I'm in trouble.
                Liger,

                Remember that all sea stories are required to begin with "This ain't no sh!t, now..." I was in Naval Aviation units for my three years, eleven months and twenty-eight days (but who was counting?), and there were a few guys who routinely were sent out for a bucket of prop wash, etc.

                David Kaiser
                Montezuma, IA
                David Kaiser
                “You can have peace. Or you can have freedom. Don't ever count on having both at once.”
                ― Robert A. Heinlein

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                • #9
                  My brother-in-law sent his wife to the building supply store with a list of things he needed to finish up the bathroom. She came back without the P-trap, thinking it was a practical joke.

                  Roger
                  Any products mentioned in my posts have been endorsed by their manufacturer.

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                  • #10
                    Early in my marriage, I had my wife seriously considering the possiblity that I was a spy for the CIA in the mid to late 90's, following in my dads footsteps...

                    Dad moved us to Italy in 1979 for 2yrs...working on computerizing Olivetti..and then Mexico City after that computerizing Banco de Mexico.. I told her he was really a spy...

                    I told her that I went to South America alot.. and the need may arise again sometime...Except I totally blow the story every time I am in a Mexican restaurant and order....

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                    • #11
                      I was expecting a story about the seaman who's job was installing and repairing the screen doors on the sub....

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                      • #12
                        Well, when we were first married, I sent my wife to the auto parts store for some radiator bearings for the VW bug. We're still together after 40 years so I guess I was forgiven.

                        And since my basic nature is to , uh, entertain her with interesting stories, there are times when something real comes up and I have to prove to her that I'm not practicing my craft. Witness the time about two years ago when we were having trouble with light bulbs sticking in the ceiling light fixtures. A twist on the burned-out bulb would pull the bulb out of it's threaded base, leaving said base stuck in the fan fixture. I asked her to stop at the hardware store to get some light bulb grease. She came back and was about to whack me on the side of the head with a frozen turkey so I had to race to the NAPA auto parts store and get some dielectric grease. It actually says "light bulb grease" on the package. As you may know, it's for automotive use, but obviously, the folks at the hardware store thought I was up to my old tricks again.

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                        • #13
                          We have been married for 43 years come August 6 and it is a wonder that my wife still puts up with me.

                          One night about 10:00PM we were coming back from central Connecticut on a secondary road with no other cars in sight. A small bridge was under repair and had a stop sign on each end of the bridge with a small "Three Cars" sign underneath the stop.

                          I stopped and sat there waiting...and waiting...and waiting. Finally she exploded, what the heck are we sitting here for???

                          I pointed to the "Three Cars" sign and told her I had to wait for two more cars before we could go!


                          Errol Groff
                          Errol Groff

                          New England Model Engineering Society
                          http://neme-s.org/

                          YouTube channel: http://www.youtube.com/user/GroffErrol?feature=mhee

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                          • #14
                            You folks are evil......

                            I wouldn't try that stuff on my wife, mostly because she wouldn't fall for it. And of course because I might not like the consequences.

                            I did manage, recently, to throw a surprise birthday party for her, however. It involved a remarkable amount of misinformation, misdirection, sleight of hand, and cover stories. But no actual lies........ She never saw it coming, mostly because she figured there was no way I could handle doing that.

                            I managed to get all sorts of party supplies etc right past her without her noticing. She only found out when we came back from a "made up errand" and found a crowd of folks in the back yard having a party.....

                            It's a double-edged sword, though........ she absolutely loved it, but I'm afraid she may no longer entirely trust me, since I was devious and sneaky enough to arrange it............. so what ELSE am I doing?.........
                            1601

                            Keep eye on ball.
                            Hashim Khan

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                            • #15
                              If you have to get back on her good side, chat with her friends. They'll tell you things to buy her that she actually wants. "Oh, how did you know! You're so thoughtful!"

                              Being a romantic, I bought her a Honda generator once. I scored big points on that one!

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