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I need you're help guys urgently?

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  • I need you're help guys urgently?

    Once again I tried the lottery and didn't win(that's twice in twenty five years), so I am now so poor I only eat six or more times a day ,and have just left with the two or more cars now.My machinery is all nearly a year old and needs completely upgrading.I need a new Guchi set of workshop overalls and shoes to match If things don't get better I will be forced to send the children out to work.I like to hold my head high and never would resort to asking for charity but since his lordship(bless him) Johan sebastian Stevenson has decided to act as my manager I now feel it is time to beg for help.If any of you have extremely large, large, large ,wads of unused money lying around please send it direct to me, as his ludship Stevenson is too well known to the authorities and would be tempted too much,(best not put the poor lad to any unecessary anxiety.I only like big notes in large bundles so please don't embarass yourself by sending small marked bills.I am not one of those nigerian pricess who write to you regularily albeit from this same address ( don't pay attention to those blaggereds.I am one of Scotlands hardy sons much in need of a healthy handout from my pals here.send the money in a plain envelope extra large size made out to poor old Alistair landslide mansions Scotland.Those generous friends from USA please first change the money to Scottish Geld as it will save me having to drag my fat unused arse to the bank.Well lads if I sent such an apllication to you how long would it take for me to retire rich.love and kisses Alistair high on morphinous liquids not suitable for chidren and Englishmen.Alistair don't mistake my beging for that of A certain oil mac known as mr billionaire himself Dan
    Please excuse my typing as I have a form of parkinsons disease

  • #2
    Alistair, did you leave yourself logged-on to HSM Forum at the library or an Internet Cafe?
    "Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things that you didn't do than by the ones you did."

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    • #3
      Sorry to hear of your destitute and deplorable plight. I just now am running off sheets of 100 dollar bills but I can't get the ink to dry. I have sent some of them to the US printing office to see if they can suggest a way to dry them. When I get them dry I will ship all of them to you.

      It's not the right paper and the fronts are not oriented to the back but what the hell, there free to you.
      It's only ink and paper

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      • #4
        Well Alistair seeing that your health and general wellbeing is in such dire straights just forward a few of the parcels you receive and I will help you count the donations you get.
        MBB
        Ps Carld I can supply blotting paper so just send the wet ones to me direct.
        Last edited by malbenbut; 11-05-2009, 04:06 PM.

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        • #5
          The problem is when I stack them up they rub on each other and get all blurred up. Confounded ink
          I just noticed they have Clintons photo on them.
          It's only ink and paper

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          • #6
            Many moons ago...when I first got into programming I bought a large bucket full of carriage returns and line feeds..


            If you want I can send you some...but make sure you don't 0D on them..

            Rob

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            • #7
              I'm going to do my part. I'm sending some more hot air snce it's apparent that you have now run out. LOL.

              Actually, it sounds like you are doing better than I am. Send me some money.

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              • #8
                Damn it Alistair,
                i can only help you with bundles of £18 notes, which the Scottish banks wont take, The last time i wanted rid of them i went over to Dublin, In a bar an Irishman swapped them for £9 notes, He only took £1.50/note as an exchange rate, &do you know what? The rotten bank tellers wouldnt take the £9 notes, when i got back home

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                • #9
                  Well, my friend, I can't help much on the money front, but I don't want you to starve while waiting for the ink to dry on the bills you've been promised, so I'm going to ask my wife to cook up a special batch of my favorite, "fried ice & wind pudding" and we'll send some along as soon as it congeals.

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                  • #10
                    Here you go Alistair. Don't spend it all in one place. If for any reason it isn't accepted just post me the receipt by air mail and I will recompense you.

                    Free software for calculating bolt circles and similar: Click Here

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                    • #11
                      Originally posted by Alistair Hosie
                      so I am now so poor I only eat six or more times a day ,
                      You have the appetite of a hobbit! And I thought Hobbitses were Welsh....

                      Editted P.S. You got freakishly big feet too?
                      Design to 0.0001", measure to 1/32", cut with an axe, grind to fit

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                      • #12
                        Originally posted by Carld
                        I just noticed they have Clintons photo on them.
                        Thought they had to be dead to appear on $$ notes, or perhaps he was / is.
                        .

                        Sir John , Earl of Bligeport & Sudspumpwater. MBE [ Motor Bike Engineer ] Nottingham England.



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                        • #13
                          Originally posted by John Stevenson
                          Thought they had to be dead to appear on $$ notes, or perhaps he was / is.

                          Think Hillary finally got tired of his antics and bought him cement shoes from her Democratic, ahem, "contacts"?
                          Design to 0.0001", measure to 1/32", cut with an axe, grind to fit

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                          • #14
                            Originally posted by Carld
                            I just noticed they have Clintons photo on them.
                            It's easy to pick out the Clinton bills -- they have stains on them.
                            "Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things that you didn't do than by the ones you did."

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                            • #15
                              Originally posted by lazlo
                              It's easy to pick out the Clinton bills -- they have stains on them.
                              Well $hit! Now I have to clean the coffee off of my monitors LOL
                              Ernie (VE7ERN)

                              May the wind be always at your back

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