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OT - Best one liners

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  • OT - Best one liners

    Thought I'd throw this in to get a response from the rest.

    Was watching an interview on TV the other night with Ronny Corbett [ small Ronny from the Two Ronnies ] he said :-

    "I have never been so frightened in my life as when I was stood at a BBC urinal and Shaking Stevens stood at the side of me "


    Sir John , Earl of Bligeport & Sudspumpwater. MBE [ Motor Bike Engineer ] Nottingham England.

  • #2
    Pardner, it's been my experience that there ain't nothin' more ruthless and treacherous than a genuine good woman.


    • #3
      A Couple I Favor

      He would make a lovely corpse.
      Charles Dickens (1812-1870)

      Look, a dumb idea has found a friend!
      Olive Snook - Pushing Up Daisies


      • #4
        Monster Inc:

        'There is nothing more toxic or deadly than a Human Child!'


        • #5
          Ah seen a feller git killed like that. Usually said after doing something dumb.


          • #6
            I would like to help, but you can't fix stupid.


            • #7
              laughter is the best medicine

              Spike Milligans' epitaph: "I told you I was ill."


              • #8
                A stupid man's report of what a clever man says is never accurate because he unconsciously translates what he hears into something he can understand.
                -- Bertrand Russell


                • #9
                  Using your urinal theme: If you shake it more then twice you ain't working it, you're playing with it. from a movie

                  He suffers from delusions of adequacy.

                  I've enjoyed as much of this as I can stand by Eddie Arnold

                  That makes once in a row

                  You look like something shot at and missed, $hit at and hit.

                  And my all time favorite: I'm from the government and I'm here to help.
                  Last edited by Your Old Dog; 11-15-2009, 04:48 PM.
                  - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
                  Thank you to our families of soldiers, many of whom have given so much more then the rest of us for the Freedom we enjoy.

                  It is true, there is nothing free about freedom, don't be so quick to give it away.


                  • #10
                    Violence is a tool of the ignorant. But, it is a tool


                    • #11
                      And my all time favorite: I'm from the government and I'm here to help.
                      I don't get that one.


                      • #12
                        I finally found happiness, I gave up hope......


                        • #13
                          We're waiting as fast as we can.


                          • #14
                            Originally posted by Teenage_Machinist
                            I don't get that one.
                            That's because you are a teenager, and you're from Northern California.
                            Trust me, as you get older you will want less and less govt. in your life.


                            • #15
                              A few more...

                              "Life is Hard; It's Harder if You're Stupid." - John Wayne

                              "A chain is no stronger than it's missing link." - E. E. Cummings