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OT: Tough Job Being Christmas Fairy

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  • OT: Tough Job Being Christmas Fairy

    CHRISTMAS FAIRY

    I am a little fairy
    On tap o' the Christmas Tree.
    It's no' a job I fancy.
    Well how would you like tae be me?

    A' tarted up wi' tinsel.
    It's enough to mak ye boak
    An' a couple o' jaggy branches
    Rammed up the back o' your frock.

    An' these wee lights a'roon me -
    I canna get my sleep
    An' there's the yearly visit
    Fae Santa - Big fat creep!

    On Christmas Day I'm stuck up here
    While you're a-wirin' in
    An' naebody says "Hey you up there -
    Could you use a spot o' gin?"

    It's nae joke bein' a fairy.
    The job's beyond belief.
    You've got to go roon the bairns beds
    An' lift their rotten teeth.

    But o' a' the jobs a fairt gets
    (An' I've mentioned only some.)
    The very worst is sitting up a tree
    Wi' pine needles up yir bum.

    When a' the fairies meet again
    By the light of the silvery moon
    Ye can tell the Christmas fairies -
    They're the ones wa' can't sit doon.

    The Christmas tree's a bonny sight
    As the firelight softly flickers.
    But think o' me - I'm stuck up here
    Wi' needles in me knickers.

    So soon as Christmas time's right by
    An' I stop bein' sae full o' cheer
    I'll get away back tae Fairyland
    An' see yous a' next year.
    .
    "People will occasionally stumble over the truth, but most of the time they will pick themselves up and carry on" : Winston Churchill
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