Jokes & Stories . Keep it clean'ish folks

[danlb]

Because of a minor infraction, a sailor aboard an aircraft carrier, bound for Japan, was busted one rank, fined and given extra duty for three weeks. Looking forward to celebrating his 21st birthday on July 22, he consoled himself every night during his extra duty by reciting, "They can bust me, they can fine me -- but they can't take away my birthday."

As July 22 approached, his excitement increased. When he went to bed on July 21, he happily repeated, "They can bust me, they can fine me -- but they can't take away my birthday."

The next morning, he found out that the ship had crossed the international date line -- and it was July 23. For the rest of his hitch he never, ever broke another rule.

[TGTool]

Dredged up from many years ago.

In informal question and answer Bob Dole is asked whether he prefers briefs or boxers.

"Well." he says, "Depends."

Sorry if this misses entirely for readership in places other than the US where there's a certain hygiene product with a brand name.

[TGTool]

Or being reminded by the stress the Catholic church is undergoing -- once again.

It was announced that Eval Knievel was going to try a new, particularly terrifying stunt.

He planned to ride through Nova Scotia dresses as a choir boy.

[bob_s]

That would be quite the trick!

It would certainly shake up the Catholic church.

[danlb]

The new Navy recruits were being processed when a crusty chief petty officer entered the room, looking to put together a work detail. "Smith, Jones, Brown! On your feet!" he hollered.

Several recruits stood up. The chief smiled and said, "It works every time."

[Tony907]

Sir, I need see your license, registration and insurance please.

Sure, let me just...can you hold my beer for me real quick?

[3 Phase Lightbulb]

Sir, I need see your license, registration and insurance please.

Sure, let me just...can you hold my beer for me real quick?

I'd love to do that in real life with a non-alcoholic beer. Maybe keep one in the glove box just for an occasion like that.

[brian Rupnow]

You would be tasered, then shot, then cut up into small pieces. I see on the news what happens in America when you try a joke on a cop.

[3 Phase Lightbulb]

You would be tasered, then shot, then cut up into small pieces. I see on the news what happens in America when you try a joke on a cop.

Nah, I'm a white guy

[flylo]

A teenie weenied tiny white guy. I don't think the cops would shoot him. Have you ever tried to hit a tiny target while rolling on the ground laughing so hard you're losing your breath? He's safe!

[3 Phase Lightbulb]

A teenie weenied tiny white guy. I don't think the cops would shoot him. Have you ever tried to hit a tiny target while rolling on the ground laughing so hard you're losing your breath? He's safe!

Sounds like your taking too many medications again.

[tomato coupe]

I don't think the cops would shoot him.

I suspect there are several forum members eager to test that theory.

[3 Phase Lightbulb]

I suspect there are several forum members eager to test that theory.

Especially underachievers.

[kendall]

You would be tasered, then shot, then cut up into small pieces. I see on the news what happens in America when you try a joke on a cop.

Way back when, while cops still 'walked a beat', we lived in san francisco's 'TL', my brother and I, when we walked out the door for what ever reason. If we saw a cop. we'd take off running, lead them to mission, polk, market or whatever, then just before they were ready to grab us we'd duck into a store, pull some paper out of our pocket and say "Oh good' you aren't closed yet, My mom wants a gallon of milk, two packs of raliegh 100s and a dozen eggs'.
Sounds kind of pointless now, but at the time (early 70s) was just a way of having fun.

[flylo]

Normal to tall underachievers. I thought the last Muchkin died, boy what a let down when I found it wasn't him http://www.letsrun.com/forum/flat_re...thread=8202918