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OT: Dogs vs Cats

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  • OT: Dogs vs Cats

    DOG DIARY vs. CAT DIARY

    EXCERPTS FROM A DOG'S DIARY

    8:00 am - OH BOY! DOG FOOD! MY FAVORITE!

    8:15 am OH BOY! A TREE! MY FAVORITE!

    9:30 am - OH BOY! A CAR RIDE! MY FAVORITE!

    9:40 am - OH BOY! A WALK! MY FAVORITE!

    10:30 am - OH BOY! A CAR RIDE! MY FAVORITE!

    11:30 am - OH BOY! DOG FOOD! MY FAVORITE!

    12:00 noon - OH BOY! THE KIDS! MY FAVORITE!

    1:00 PM - OH BOY! THE YARD! MY FAVORITE!

    1:30 PM - ooooooo. bath. bummer.

    4:00 PM - OH BOY! THE KIDS! MY FAVORITE!

    5:00 PM - OH BOY! DOG FOOD! MY FAVORITE!

    5:30 PM - OH BOY! MOM! MY FAVORITE!

    EXCERPTS FROM A CAT'S DIARY

    DAY 752 - My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre little dangling objects. They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while I am forced to eat dry cereal. The only thing that keeps me going is the hope of escape, and the mild satisfaction I get from ruining the occasional piece of furniture. Tomorrow I may eat another houseplant.

    DAY 761 - Today my attempt to kill my captors by weaving around their feet while they were walking almost succeeded, must try this at the top of the stairs. In an attempt to disgust and repulse these vile oppressors, I once again induced myself to vomit on their favorite chair... must try this on their bed.

    DAY 765 - Decapitated a mouse and brought them the headless body, in an attempt to make them aware of what I am capable of, and to try to strike fear into their hearts. They only cooed and condescended about what a good little cat I was... Hmmm. Not working according to plan.

    DAY 768 - I am finally aware of how sadistic they are. For no good reason I was chosen for the water torture. This time however it included a burning foamy chemical called "shampoo." What sick minds could invent such a liquid? My only consolation is the piece of thumb still stuck between my teeth.

    DAY 771 - There was some sort of gathering of their accomplices. I was placed in solitary throughout the event. However, I could hear the noise. More importantly I overheard that my confinement was due to MY power of "allergies." Must learn what this is and how to use it to my advantage.

    DAY 775 - I think I have finally discovered one of their weaknesses, sleep deprivation. If I yell at them throughout the night it seems to make them stumble about like drunken sailors the next day. Their ability to think their sadistic thoughts also seems to be impaired. It is my new hope that if I can do this four or five nights in a row, they might inadvertently bring themselves some grievous harm by walking in front of a bus.

    DAY 779 - I am convinced the other captives are flunkies and maybe snitches. The dog is routinely released and seems more than happy to return. He is obviously a half-wit. The bird on the other hand has got to be an informant, and speaks with them regularly. I am certain he reports my every move. Due to his current placement in the metal room his safety is assured. But I can wait; it is only a matter of time....


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  • #2
    Sam the shop cat, has conquered this realm and now the person incharge.

    Jerry, his feline higness' personal slave.

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    • #3
      YUP, THATS MY CATS!

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      • #4
        Cat mafia about to get informant.

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        • #5
          Evan, your feline hoard looks like my feline hoard. Maybe one of mine is living a double life.....on second thought....no too lazey.

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          • #6
            Living with a dog is like caring for a child.... with all the joys and responsibilities....


            Living with a cat is like sharing a space with a room mate....

            457863656C73696F7220212000

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            • #7
              LOL


              ------------------
              Paul G.
              Paul G.

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              • #8
                I am, apparantly a cat cushion. I awoke sunday to a cat snoozing across my neck - purring like crazy (the 8 pounder) with the 16 pounder keeping my legs hot (2 lbs of hair, 14 lbs of cat hair holder). That is not as bad as waking up to the 16 Lb. cat's butt in your face (thanks, kitty). But the times when it is really cold and the cat decides my head is going to freeze and she lays across the top of the pillow an forms a fur hat for me - purring like crazy - puts me right to sleep.

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                • #9
                  Dave,

                  Your sleeping conditions sound like mine. I woke up this morning with my wife sleeping snugled to me on my right, my 4 year old son sleeping snugled to me on my left side, my 13 pound tomcat laying across my knees, my 8 pound cat on my chest licking my chin, and my 12 pound cat wraped arround my feet. And, I couldn't move either of my arms because they were "asleep" from everybody laying on them! And to think I used to wonder why I always wake up so tired! :eek!

                  Mike
                  Finding creative ways to turn material into scrap for decades.

                  Current Machines:
                  South Bend 13” Lathe (being rebuilt)
                  Bridgeport Mill (step pully J)
                  Garvin 2A horizontal mill
                  Ohio 20” shaper
                  Harbor Freight 4x6 band saw

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                  • #10
                    Well let's see. We have Bubba, Thomas, Thomasina, Grenade, Star, Houston, (pronounced House-ton, she Came from a small town in Ohio by the same name) Terra Haute, (as in Terra Haute, Indiana, from which she came) Little Buddy, Little Sister and Little Briches, Midnight, Cali, Sy, Momma Cat, CC, OC, Mechanic (he crawled under a truck at my shop and helped me replace a clutch. I took him home as payment),Baby, Boots, Bullet, Ambernathy, Snowbell (fo.und in the street, in front of our house, eating a bug on the center line as traffic sped by) Abby Cat, Wolfstien, Saffron, Inky, Wiggy, et al.

                    We don't have any cat hair in our house.


                    Oh..as a bit of trivia: The question mark "?" was taken from the shape of a cats tail as the cat was facing away from the viewer and was investigating something. I'll let your imagination figure out what the dot at the bottom is.

                    [This message has been edited by Jerry B (edited 12-04-2003).]

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                    • #11
                      Jerry,

                      Unless I miscounted, that's 27 cats. Where do you put all of them?

                      I used to have 2, and when they weren't patroling the house or sleeping next to each other they were fighting like.......er.......Cats.

                      Are you breeding them for sale or target practice......(just kidding)......

                      Regards,

                      Rodg

                      BTW.......Evan........very funny post.

                      [This message has been edited by RPease (edited 12-04-2003).]
                      RPease

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                      • #12
                        RPease,
                        No we are just soft headed.... uh I mean soft hearted. We have rescued more cats and dogs here than we care to admit.

                        Actually we don't let them breed. Everybody has been to the vet for modifications. This bunch lives with us. ( most are in the basement) The MIL has built a small house behind her home, with heat and air, for her bunch. She has almost as many as we do.

                        [This message has been edited by Jerry B (edited 12-04-2003).]

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                        • #13
                          My last cat died in May. She was 19 years old, maybe 20.
                          We now like to think of my Uncles cat as ours too when he is here for the summer, or we are at his place during Winter break.
                          His cat is the black death to anything that moves outside. Theres no lizards to be found on the patio anymore at his house down in Florida, nor any rabbits.


                          His cat is something else, you can handle him as much as you want, he will not scratch you or bite you. He may wrestle you though where he pretends to bite you, wraps his front paws around your arm, then starts to dig in with his hind legs. He will stop if you dont put up a fight, then he just licks your hand. Funny cat.

                          [This message has been edited by BillH (edited 12-04-2003).]

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                          • #14
                            Heck, I like either cats or dogs.


                            Boiled or fried, doesn't matter.

                            They like me too, I'm putting on weight again.

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                            • #15
                              What are you? Korean?

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