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  • OT: Anger Management

    I think I really need to sort something out for myself with this.

    I find that I'm flying off the handle - shouting, swearing, and making gestures - all too frequently now whenever I'm in the car.
    Today I had a huge face-to-face and toe-to-toe with a bloke half my age in a car park, but luckily both sets of wives were there to prevent it going any further.
    And it was all about something incredibly stupid. He bipped his horn, I made a gesture and swore, he swore and went to get out his car, I did get out of mine and then it went from there.

    The stupid thing is I was absolutely ready to set to with him right there and then, despite the fact that I don't think I've been in a scrap for more than 20 years.
    And it only happens when I'm driving. The rest of the time I'm really laid back and quite relaxed about stuff.

    I don't like that fact that I behave like this, and don't know why I seem to lose my temper instantly in a car.
    Is it just me, or is anyone else having this problem?

  • #2
    You're not alone. It's a common affliction called "road rage" here. And here, we just try to alleviate the problem by instituting laws to regulate emotion.

    I used to be like that, and on VERY rare occasions I still find myself getting all worked-up over some other driver's stupidity, inconsideration, lack of skill, or outright aggressive driving habits. And in my advancing age I've just decided "it's not worth the aggravation." Instead of getting ticked off, I just remark to myself what a bonehead that other driver is, and continue on my way. I remind myself that the jerk who just cut me off to get one car-length ahead of me is really only going to get to the same place one nanosecond before me. And I will have gotten out of my car and off to do my business before that person would even get their car stopped, because I don't have my cellphone, GPS, coffee cup and papers to gather up.

    Chill out. Let it roll off, don't take any of that crap personally. You win in the end anyhow.

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    • #3
      That guy should not have honked his horn. Out here in the West that is asking for trouble. If one hears a horn honked in anger, the assumption is that the driver is from Boston or New York. Just not done.
      Allan Ostling

      Phoenix, Arizona

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      • #4
        Here in the States we just shoot 'em.

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        • #5
          Originally posted by GKman
          Here in the States we just shoot 'em.
          Yeah, I was going to say -- it sounds like you just came from L.A. Peter

          Horns are used a lot in any major city in the US. In Austin, that would be for people stopped at a green light, talking on their cell phones

          My Wife was 8 months pregnant with my first child, and she was on the way to the mall during Christmas. Some redneck in a pickup truck was apparently pissed off that she was driving slow, so he actually followed her to the mall, got out, and was screaming at my pregnant Wife in the parking lot, until someone called the mall police.

          My Wife came home in tears. Things would have been a lot less pleasant if I were there...
          "Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things that you didn't do than by the ones you did."

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          • #6
            Although I get very angry and irritated with people, I won't let the jerks see it, I just shake my head and walk away from them and think to myself "what an effing idiot". The idiot gets to think he or she is not an idiot and I get to know otherwise. Although on one occasion walking away from this drunk idiot made him madder. he grabbed me from behind and wound up black and blue.

            Later I may get online and play a few rounds of Battlefield 2 to get my aggressions out!

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            • #7
              Originally posted by lazlo
              Some redneck in a pickup truck was apparently pissed off that she was driving slow, so he actually followed her to the mall, got out, and was screaming at my pregnant wife in the parking lot,
              You meant half the population of Texas was in the parking lot ?
              .

              Sir John , Earl of Bligeport & Sudspumpwater. MBE [ Motor Bike Engineer ] Nottingham England.



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              • #8
                Originally posted by John Stevenson
                You meant half the population of Texas was in the parking lot ?
                Oh, you probably don't realize -- Austin isn't in Texas Austin is a college town, magnet for live music, and a mini silicon valley.
                So no one in Austin is from Texas: we have hippies, yuppies, students and geeks. No belt buckles or cowboy boots.

                Now Dallas is a more amusing situation. A lot of the folks you run into there with hats, boots, or belt buckles are Yankees in disguise

                But in reference to the OP, they give out concealed carry permits in Texas in your cereal box, so confronting people over road rage is usually a profoundly bad idea...
                "Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things that you didn't do than by the ones you did."

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                • #9
                  Originally posted by Peter Neill
                  I think I really need to sort something out for myself with this.

                  I find that I'm flying off the handle - shouting, swearing, and making gestures - all too frequently now.
                  .
                  Get rid of the Colchester.

                  Nice to see you posting again btw.

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                  • #10
                    Originally posted by aostling
                    That guy should not have honked his horn. Out here in the West that is asking for trouble. If one hears a horn honked in anger, the assumption is that the driver is from Boston or New York. Just not done.
                    Out here in CT (1/2 way in between "boston & new york") - We regularly use the horn to "Communicate" with our northern and southern driving neighbors. using the horn in anger, we are extremely satisfied when we can prompt the other driver ("hornee") to give us the finger..

                    -t

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                    • #11
                      fools & idiots

                      all drivers except for myself and my wife are either "fools" or "idiots".
                      the fools are driving faster than me, and the idiots are driving wayyy too slow !

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                      • #12
                        Originally posted by Peter Neill
                        I think I really need to sort something out for myself with this.

                        I find that I'm flying off the handle - shouting, swearing, and making gestures - all too frequently now whenever I'm in the car...
                        ,,, The rest of the time I'm really laid back and quite relaxed about stuff.

                        I don't like that fact that I behave like this, and don't know why I seem to lose my temper instantly in a car.
                        Is it just me, or is anyone else having this problem?
                        Peter, what else is happening in your life? Any other stresses, irritations or frustrations going on? If there are, identifying these might help in dealing with the road rage, and resolving them may reduce the road rage to just road irritation. YMMV*

                        *I am not a psycho-doctor.
                        Weston Bye - Author, The Mechatronist column, Digital Machinist magazine
                        ~Practitioner of the Electromechanical Arts~

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                        • #13
                          This a daily issue here in Miami, Florida. The problem is brought about by a number of factors. The mix of nationalities and their accompanying customs, stresses of people being out of work, other life pressures and just too many people compressed in one metropolitan area all contribute to a high level of frustration that many times is taken out on the road. Mostly it seems people have forgotten how to be respectful and considerate of each other when and where it's needed most. There is a general feeling of "I'm more important than anyone else". This inconsideration flows over into participating in activities such as texting and talking on the cell phone while driving, rather than paying attention to the task at hand, driving safely, all the while raising the level of frustration felt by other drivers. Sooner or later something has to give and it usually winds up in a road rage incident.

                          The question is how to avoid being involved in one yourself. There are a few steps you can take. First, plan ahead for delays and expect to be on the road traveling from place to place longer than necessary. When someone does something disrespectful or inconsiderate try to ignore it, let it pass, put it behind you. When you get angry it only hurts you. The offender has forgotten about it thirty seconds later while you continue to simmer. Remember that in this day and age it has become acceptable, in the minds of many, to shun responsibility for one's actions. I don't subscribe to that theory but the fact remains that many do. The challenge is for you to win, come out on top. You won't if you end up in a fight or get shot. Even if you win the battle you lose the war. Lawyers and courts cost big bucks and you'll be losing a lot even if you are in the right. A lesson can be taken from some Christian teachings that will help you win, "turn the other cheek".

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                          • #14
                            Originally posted by Peter Neill
                            I find that I'm flying off the handle - shouting, swearing, and making gestures - all too frequently now whenever I'm in the car.
                            Get rid of that freekin' British car! That's enough to pi$$ anybody off.
                            Milton

                            "Accuracy is the sum total of your compensating mistakes."

                            "The thing I hate about an argument is that it always interrupts a discussion." G. K. Chesterton

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                            • #15
                              Peter,

                              Defensive driving. "Every other driver on the road is an accident looking for somewhere to happen. "

                              Stay cool, stay safe and above all stay sane.

                              From Wikipedia :-

                              Illegitimi non carborundum is a mock-Latin aphorism meaning "Don't let the b*****ds grind you down". (Carborundum is an industrial abrasive material.) ...

                              Ian

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