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OT: Then Mensa invitational

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  • OT: Then Mensa invitational

    The Washington Post's Mensa Invitational once again invited readers to take any word from the dictionary, alter it by adding, subtracting, or changing one letter, and supply a new definition.

    Here are the winners:

    1.. Cashtration (n.): The act of buying a house, which renders the subject financially impotent for an indefinite period of time.

    2.. Ignoranus: A person who's both stupid and an asshole.

    3.. Intaxicaton: Euphoria at getting a tax refund, which lasts until you realize it was your money to start with.

    4.. Reintarnation: Coming back to life as a hillbilly.

    5.. Bozone ( n.): The substance surrounding stupid people that stops bright ideas from penetrating. The bozone layer, unfortunately, shows little sign of breaking down in the near future.

    6.. Foreploy: Any misrepresentation about yourself for the purpose of getting laid.

    7.. Giraffiti: Vandalism spray-painted very, very high.

    8.. Sarchasm: The gulf between the author of sarcastic wit and the person who doesn't get it.

    9.. Inoculatte: To take coffee intravenously when you are running late.

    10. Osteopornosis: A degenerate disease. (This one got extra credit.)

    11. Karmageddon: It's like, when everybody is sending off all these really bad vibes, right? And then, like, the Earth explodes and it's like, a serious bummer.

    12. Decafalon (n.): The grueling event of getting through the day consuming only things that are good for you.

    13. Glibido: All talk and no action.

    14. Dopeler Effect: The tendency of stupid ideas to seem smarter when they come at you rapidly.

    15. Arachnoleptic Fit (n.): The frantic dance performed just after you've accidentally walked through a spider web.

    16. Beelzebug (n.): Satan in the form of a mosquito, that gets into your bedroom at three in the morning and cannot be cast out.

    17. Caterpallor ( n.): The color you turn after finding half a worm in the fruit you're eating.
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  • #2
    14, 15 and 17 damn near put me on the floor Thanks for the early morning chuckle.
    - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
    Thank you to our families of soldiers, many of whom have given so much more then the rest of us for the Freedom we enjoy.

    It is true, there is nothing free about freedom, don't be so quick to give it away.

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    • #3
      Thank god only 2 percent of society can come up with that stuff.
      I'm an abstract poet and I didn't even think I was.

      Comment


      • #4
        Way back in the '70's, after turning down the local Mensa group because I didn't want to be associated with "an effete corps of impudent snobs who characterize themselves as intellectuals", I joined Densa. There was a one part test for inclusion: Fill the bath tub with water and note the water level. Sit in the tub, if the water level has risen, then the applicant is a proud member of Densa...of course the criterion may now have changed to lower the standard, I've heard there is actually a test with questions...created by, you guessed it, Mensa members .

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        • #5
          godgler - An ordinary person that creates their intelligence, superior persona, and unequaled experience by use of internet search engines.

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          • #6
            The test I heard of went like this. You're standing next to an old fashion bath tub. You have a spoon, a small pot, and a plastic bucket. What is the best way to empty the tub?


            You would pull the plug.
            Ernie

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            • #7
              I was invited to a MENSA meeting years back, and I took my then-girlfriend whom I later married. At the door someone handed me a sheet listing the characteristics of the stool that resulted form eating a host of exotic foods. I took one look at the sheet, handed it back, and left.

              Whoever said first impressions count....was right.
              Any products mentioned in my posts have been endorsed by their manufacturer.

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              • #8
                the only bathtub test i know that was done was a famous brit murderers affinity with a bathtub, new rich wife and an electric fire.
                cant think of a word for it though,
                mark

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                • #9
                  Originally posted by boslab
                  the only bathtub test i know that was done was a famous brit murderers affinity with a bathtub, new rich wife and an electric fire.
                  cant think of a word for it though,
                  mark
                  Ok I'll start this one off with "Sparking champain."

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                  • #10
                    Originally posted by Evan
                    The Washington Post's Mensa Invitational once again invited readers to take any word from the dictionary, alter it by adding, subtracting, or changing one letter, and supply a new definition.

                    Here are the winners:

                    15. Arachnoleptic Fit (n.): The frantic dance performed just after you've accidentally walked through a spider web.
                    is it just me or how does this fit requirements, what is the original word???? looks like a combo of Arachno + epileptic fit to me -- thats more than one letter!

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                    • #11
                      Number 5, (Bozone...) was stolen from a cartoon called "The far side" by Gary Larson, form the mid-1980's if I recall correctly.

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                      • #12
                        I doubt any of them are original but they are still funny.
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                        • #13
                          Originally posted by alanganes
                          Number 5, (Bozone...) was stolen from a cartoon called "The far side" by Gary Larson, form the mid-1980's if I recall correctly.
                          -Actually, the bulk of the list (there's lots of variants) dates back to the 90s sometime. I clearly remember the "reintarnation" line from one of among the first spam/chain/forwarded emails I ever got, back in the Netscape Navigator days.

                          A quick Google example is this one from 2008, which is essentially identical.

                          They're still humorous, but not new, nor particularly on-topic.

                          Doc.
                          Doc's Machine. (Probably not what you expect.)

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                          • #14
                            Originally posted by boslab
                            the only bathtub test i know that was done was a famous brit murderers affinity with a bathtub, new rich wife and an electric fire.
                            cant think of a word for it though,
                            mark
                            Doesn't really matter, with the price of electric today you have to put up with the wife because the electric is too expensive ...............sigh.
                            .

                            Sir John , Earl of Bligeport & Sudspumpwater. MBE [ Motor Bike Engineer ] Nottingham England.



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                            • #15
                              Originally posted by Evan
                              I doubt any of them are original but they are still funny.

                              True enough, some clever stuff. That one just jumped out at me because I had that particular Larson comic on my wall for years. And that was well before Al Gore was all on about ozone and such.

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