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What a nerve some people have!

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  • What a nerve some people have!

    My elderly pal Fred nearly eighty has been doing some unpaid work for a guy he hardly knows just the kind of guy he is trying to help people.He has rolled and silver soldered the guys boiler to hi spec performance using his own silver solder and gas.He also made anumber of jigs to help the guy.without a word of thanks just grumbling. Everytime(not often as fred is not a nuisance)Fred telephoned the guy he would hear him mutter to his wife what the hell does he want or mutter and make unfriendly remarks when fred tried to contact him today he telephoned and heard the guy complain to his wife that he didn't want to be disturbed and said tell him to phone me tomorrow.Fred telephoned him right back and gave him a piece of his mind telling him he didn't mind working for free but was not willing to put up with nasty remarks and dogs abuse, he then told the guy to pick up his stuff and go elsewhere.I was furious old Fred telephoned me all shaking and really upset the guy called for his stuff and never said as much as thanks and walked away.I told him he's better of without such people in his life.I have found in life many people have tried to take kindness for softness have any of you suffered in this way also? Alistair
    Please excuse my typing as I have a form of parkinsons disease

  • #2
    A friend of mine owned a cottage on a lake, he moved his family to the next province but kept the cottage, he told a 'friend' that if he looked after it and cut the grass etc he could use it whenever, and his family would maybe come in for a month or so each year to use it.
    A year or two in to the deal, he phoned to say he would be in for August - September, the 'caretaker' told him it was inconvenient as he had his family coming in to use it at that time.
    Guess what happened to the 'Caretaker'.
    Max.

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    • #3
      I learned you really don't know who your friends really are after major back surgery 21/2 years ago & was confined to the house on a walker for well over 12 months. I was always the one one with the hunting camp, planes,hangers, shop, tools, etc. I always shared never charging my friends for anything. If I went hunting I thought it doesn't cost anymore for a couple of friends to go. In the process I lost my job of 30+ years, my big hanger was destroyed by a tornado. My old buddies now are no where to be found & if I need help I hire it. Which in fact I've always made sure any help was compensated for in some way even with my kids. I was taught to pay my own way & I always have. Turns out I had lot of friends that were just plain leeches. I called my hunting buddy & ask if he wanted to buy the camp after he told me he just had the best year of his life. He said no but still uses it. I think after all that happened this losing so called friends bothered mr the worst. Life goes on & mine has no rear view mirror & I'm not handicapped just hindered a bit, No sticker on my truck & I don't used the blue spaces either. True friends are rare & to be treasured!
      "Let me recommend the best medicine in the
      world: a long journey, at a mild season, through a pleasant
      country, in easy stages."
      ~ James Madison

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      • #4
        Welcome to the age of ignorance - people do not know how to behave. It was predicted with the onset of daycare generations....the prediction and logic was children would not learn or be taught things like manners as well as they didn't seek the approval as much from the stranger/care giver than they would a parent there bby limiting ability to influence behaviours. That and the caregiver just wants the day over. The other part is being raised by strangers would make them sort of introverted, more in tune with their wants and far less aware of the feelings/pain of others, Children raised 'on their own'

        i was at Mom`s over the weekend. She had had a neighborhood get together. Sent out invites with an RSVP....50% of the people didn't not RSVP! and several who didn't showed up anyway!! A minor thing perhaps but not really in that there's a microcosm in a reasonably well to do country area (meaning they`re mostly from the Canadian culture) and yet 1/2 are socially inept.
        .

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        • #5
          No good deed goes unpunished.

          I've had the biggest BS hassles in my life just trying to help people out.

          Sucks, but it seems that's how it works.

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          • #6
            I think it was Mark Twain who said, "Help a man out when he's in trouble, and he'll always remember you ...when he's in trouble again."

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            • #7
              My story:

              Some years ago a neighbor up on the hill had a steep driveway. He re-graded the crest from the road shoulder into his driveway doing away with the gutter but making it easier to drive downhill into his garage. Fulfilling predictions, storm water from a heavy rain cascaded down his driveway into the garage under the door into the lower part of his split level.

              The water was three feet deep before it was discovered in the morning. There was so much water coming in it was gaining on the leakage around the door and the sliding glass door - which looked in danger of blowing out. A quick decision and we opened the wood door against the water pressure breaking it in the process. A 3 ft wall of water swept two of us (me included) into the rockery where we were bruised and cut up. The floating sofa drifted over and smashed a cheap coffee table and the TV fell of its stand into the water in all the commotion.

              The water drained as two more guys trenched the flow around the house which eventually eroded to a couple feet deep. So, the rain ended with a little canyon, some washed away landscaping, a busted door soaked carpet and damaged furniture (mostly cheap stuff). We stayed for hours to squeegee and vaccum water, arrange stuff to dry, get the flooded furnace to work (Sunday of course). I dragged in a big furnace blower I had to ventillate the drowned rooms. Seven guys (I think) worked their butts off for maybe 6 hours to mitigate the effects of the flood.

              Naturally, the guy sued the city for storm run-off, his neighbors for damages, and he probably would have sued God for the rain if He could have been served with a summons.

              The city showed signed written reciept of notification by the city engineer of the results of the unauthorized grading and was even then prosecuting for work performed without a permit. Us neighbors pooled for an attorney and we got off at the show-cause hearing under a Good Samaritan defense. My share for the attorney was $180 in 1972. That was most of a paycheck.

              We got two more years of sulking and dirty looks both directions before the bastards finally moved away. Some people: it's always the other guy's fault.
              Last edited by Forrest Addy; 05-15-2012, 07:36 PM.

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              • #8
                I used to do odd jobs for a good long term friend. At one point I'd installed a water filter by the kitchen sink. Then came the day when I was asked to replace the filter. My pal was out for the day but his wife was in.

                I started work. Then I asked her to move some stuff around so I could continue with the job.

                A tradesman came to the door and was invited in. She said to me, "I'll do what you want in a minute. I've got to see this chap first. We're paying him."

                They're paying him. He's getting paid for his time. I'm doing it for free, so I can sit around waiting.

                I picked up my tools and left. We're not friends any more. I just could not get over that attitude.
                Richard - SW London, UK, EU.

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                • #9
                  Most of my problems came from jealous friends and especially family when we sold out 27 bedroom hotel 23 years ago I did pretty well out of it and was imediately inundated with requests for loans and help. I did my mothers roof ,new central heating, carpetted her house from top to bottom ,and bought her all new furniture.I did likewise with brothers and sisters and discovered they were planning how to screw me for money behind my back my own mother told me a pack of extremely elaborate lies as did my brothers and sister till one day I said enough is enough I found them talking behind my wifes back too eventually I stopped seeing them since then 2 of my brothers have died and my sister never even told me she told my cousin every week they were both fine and he kept me informed despite one of my brothers being dead for over ayear and the other was killed stabbed to death by his wife.Needless to say I now have nothing to do with any of them and feel much better too.I didn't do anything to deserve this and for a while I didn't want to make new friends and grew very distrustful of a lot of people I know as many of them borrowed money and that was the last I saw of them.They borrowed I found out deliberately already deciding not to pay me back as they saw my kindness as a soft touch.I still have about four real friends and a cousin that I love them all they have remained true despite all over the years.Alistair ps sorry for the rant.
                  Please excuse my typing as I have a form of parkinsons disease

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                  • #10
                    I know where Alistair is coming from with this one, Alistair, "Welcome to the jungle" People can be B******S big time, Along with Alistair i have met old Fred also, Fred is one of lives gentlemen, a really good competent engineer, Also as Alistair says the type of guy who will help anybody, and it is very sad to hear of his kindness being treated as weakness & his generous spirit being misused.

                    In this world of hard knocks, it sometimes takes a long time to wise up , The reason for this i do not know, possibly as a craftsman, we let our hearts over rule our heads, & do not see the bigger picture of mans total rotten-ness & deceipt until it is too late, we somehow feel we are helping & the joy of working at something we love, blinds us from the truth

                    In this situation i sadly am no exception, That is until some years back the scales fell from my eyes (metaphorically speaking) & i wised up, learned to say No big time! sent others packing with a flea in their ears, developed a couldnt care less attitude + dont know how to do things any longer, Also adopted the Russian diplomats statement "come back in the year nine, nine, nine nine. & generally nowadays with rare exceptions only do my own thing , Couple this with "I do not lend out any tools thank you!" Guess you have got the measure of old oil mac guys.

                    What brought about this sea change in my psyche, after years of being taken for a total mug, Well it was the realisation that i was getting no where with my own projects &hobbies & like old fred, I was being totally being used and abused

                    Two guys especially pissed me off big time The first was right into ancient cars, For years, i would be relaxing phone would ring about twice a week, "Hey Dan, i have a little job i want doing" The damned job would be geenormous would take up the rest of the week generally, The same guy was rolling rich, & would never say to the wife , Here is some flowers or sweets as a thank you, The final crunch came, when i carried out a really nice machining job for him, & due to his or his buddies bad fitting workmanship seized up a transmission, & his wife phoned up & very snippily asked "Do you usually turn out inferior work? Well after that the party was over..

                    The next so & so is a real bundle of fun, for some years i was generous in spirit to this guy, gave him a real big rake of surplus tools away on occasions, helped big time always was generous with my time , Helped to ease the way for him to purchase nice equipment from a good friend at a real bargain basement price, But my wife was always a bit terse &suspicious of the guy , did not really take to him, which over the years should have been to me a warning However one day a good friend of mine l gave him some electrical equipment away free gratis, How was he rewarded ? Well our man goes into an armaure winder and bad mouths my friend for "selling" him rubbish! It was a real pity the armature winder was my friends buddy , Although i got the fall out from that spat also

                    Later on i was in my workshop & on my bench was a particularly accurate & nice machine assembly I had just finished machining & fitting Our man says " I would not waste my time making that" & stumps out, Guess i am better of without him & his bosum pal also

                    WE are taught to show kindness to every man, scripture asks us to do that But hey guys do not throw your pearls before swine, Less they be consumed.

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                    • #11
                      i've only been stung very few times in my life, i consider myself very lucky, had a few morons hangin around for awhile, but they gradually disappeared after getting the message.

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                      • #12
                        Dang Alistair - that's got to hurt bro, esp. your own mother,,, very sorry to hear it.

                        I feel very fortunate family wise - iv got a great one - we all get along and there are many of us, it's not perfect - but it's real...
                        As far as friends - I have very few and plan on keeping it that way,
                        I got rid of a couple douche bags quite awhile back and really don't have any kind of urgency to replace them - for the most part I like my space and value my own company and my dogs...


                        I still help people out once in while here and there but nothing too crazy, and I barter with an old GF car work for cleaning, That's the one thing about being single - I hate to clean, just hate it --- I know this sounds terrible but I feel it's "beneath" me, I really think its a womans job - lol I know that sounds terrible too - but they are darn good at it and it doesn't seem to depress them - I think cleanings depressing... so im basically a slob...
                        Last edited by A.K. Boomer; 05-15-2012, 09:05 PM.

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                        • #13
                          I've been burned more than a few times also. But there's still lots of people around who are the opposite. I've helped quite a few where they couldn't do enough to try and thank me. I try and do the same when someone helps me.

                          Pete

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                          • #14
                            I've been burned just enough times to know how to say NO!!
                            Doing something once is helping someone out.
                            Doing something twice is a special favor.
                            Do something thrice, and the free help begins to be expected of you.
                            If you nip it in the bud right off the bat, people will be less inclined to take advantage.

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                            • #15
                              There isn't a nicer feeling than going and helping out someone in a fun way.

                              Back a few years ago a guy i knew who was in the 1rst stages of MS had no firewood, (He used to cut his own for years,) so i got about 12 guys together, we landed there in the morning, by nightfall we had ALL his firewood down, blocked and split, and piled beside his house.

                              Had a great fun time, playing jokes on each other throughout the day, then when finished we all sat down to a big supper, (Wives brought all the food,)

                              Makes for a fun time doing that.

                              (never told the guy we were comming as he would of refused the help, a very stubborn independant guy.)

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