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  • Smoke

    "A Treatise on the Importance of Smoke" by Joseph Lucas

    All electrical components and wiring harnesses depend on proper
    circuit functioning, which is the transmission of charged ions by
    retention of the visible spectral manifestation known as "smoke".
    Smoke is the thing that makes electrical circuits work. Don't be
    fooled by scientists and engineers talking about excited electrons
    and the like. Smoke is the key to all things electrical.

    We know this to be true because every time one lets the smoke out of
    an electrical circuit, it stops working. This can be verified
    repeatedly through empirical testing. For example, if one places a
    large copper bar across the terminals of a battery, prodigious
    quantities of smoke are liberated and the battery shortly ceases to
    function. In addition, if one observes smoke escaping from an
    electrical component such as a Lucas voltage regulator, it will also
    be observed that the component no longer functions.

    The logic is elementary and inescapable! The function of the wiring
    harness is to conduct the smoke from one device to another. When the
    wiring harness springs a leak and lets all the smoke out of the
    system, nothing works right afterward.

    Starter motors were considered unsuitable for British motorcycles for
    some time largely because they regularly released large quantities of
    smoke from the electrical system.

    It has been reported that Lucas electrical components are possibly
    more prone to electrical leakage than their Bosch, Japanese or
    American counterparts. Experts point out that this is because Lucas
    is British, and all things British leak. British engines leak oil,
    British shock absorbers, hydraulic forks, and disk brake systems leak
    fluid, British tires leak air and British Intelligence leaks national
    defense secrets.

    Therefore, it follows that British electrical systems must leak
    smoke. Once again, the logic is clear and inescapable.

    Sometimes you may miss the component releasing the smoke that makes
    your electrical system function correctly, but if you sniff around
    you can often find the faulty component by the undeniable and
    telltale smoke smell. Sometimes this is a better indicator than
    standard electrical tests performed with a volt-ohm meter.

    In conclusion, the basic concept of transmission of electrical energy
    in the form of smoke provides a clear and logical explanation of the
    mysteries of electrical components and why they fail.

    "A gentleman does not motor about after dark."
    - Joeseph Lucas, 1842 - 1903

    I learned a long time ago that once you let the "Factory Smoke" out of
    electrical device, it is next to impossible to replenish.


  • #2
    I finally broke down and ordered myself a new fairly high powered computer for the office. I haven't bought one in three years. I set it up on Saturday morning and formatted the hard drive in preparation to installing the operating system. It just finished formatting when I heard a loud nasty crackle from the speakers. I looked at the computer (with the side panel off) and smoke was billowing from the motherboard. I hit the off switch on the power supply and considered getting the fire extinguisher. It subsided though. Had to open the doors wide to air out the store. One of the voltage regulators for the CPU had failed catastrophically. This means dead motherboard, dead CPU, probably dead ram and dead video card. I sent it back to my supplier today. Good thing it wasn't a customers computer.
    Free software for calculating bolt circles and similar: Click Here


    • #3
      The smoke theory is proven once again!!

      Any products mentioned in my posts have been endorsed by their manufacturer.


      • #4
        Priceless. I believe every word.
        but I don't want to be in your shoes when our British counterparts read this.

        Paul G.
        Paul G.


        • #5
          Paul G. - I'm ready for a mauling!



          • #6
            That's funny!

            Thanks Herb, for the entertainment. That explains a lot to the 'electrically challenged' like me.
            Lynn (Huntsville, AL)


            • #7
              Excellent. I'll print this out for my buddy who is an electrician, it will defintely help him out on the job. He's a good electrician, and told me that the reason a motor sometimes just hums when you apply power to it is because it doesn't know the words.



              • #8
                I have in my parts shed a shelf full of starters and generators of all types,I let friends go in and dig and get what they need,stangely enough the rest of the starters and generators often move to the other end of the shelf opposite the Lucas stuff. The smoke leakage could be a factor

                I am constantly impressed by a Lucas voltage regs ability to double as a toaster oven,you only get one slice of bread out of it thou
                I just need one more tool,just one!


                • #9
                  While complaining about auto parts, remember to utter imprecations against the "SU" carburetor also.

                  As one who attempted to get two to function togather, I can only have sympathy for those with three.....

                  Never had to deal with Lucas.
                  1601 2137 5683 1002 1437

                  Keep eye on ball.
                  Hashim Khan

                  If you look closely at a digital signal, you find out it is really analog......


                  • #10
                    The reason Brits drink warm beer.
                    They have Lucas refrigerators.


                    • #11
                      Finally, after all these years, it all makes sense. in 1970, while I was still in high school, I bought a 1957 Hillman for 9 bucks. Someone before me had let out some, but not all of the smoke from the Lucas electrical system. Attempts by a previous owner to install replacement smoke via about 500 feet of extra wire, connected by tying the wires together with granny knots and masking tape was at least partially sucessful. After a couple years of high school electronics, I was sure I could trace out any simple DC circuits. Har, Har. One day I got out a pair of cutters, and about 20 min. I had removed the lions share of the offending wiring. A dodge alternator, a home built bracket for same, and lots of new wiring made everything work, except the gas guage. The damn thing was wired 12 volts, with positive ground, which I changed over. Lots of stuff was thrown away, like the Lucas voltage regulator, which musta had 9 wires. I don't remember what I had to do to the starter, if anything.

                      This reminds me, what with so many experts and holders of all secrets near and dear to my heart, who can explain the hurricane factor in english cars? Any I've ever been around have exibited the hurricane factor to some degree. For those unfamiliar, simply explained, how can wind blow thru a car at 100mph when the car is doing about 40?

                      Regards to all, Tim
                      I cut it off twice; it's still too short
                      Oregon, USA


                      • #12
                        Ha Ha.. You said Lucas... every old biker knows that means "Lord of Darkness:" My old triumph buddies used to tape flashlights to the handlebars when they'd go out after dark.

                        Nice to have a friend or two with a real motorcycle back then. Mine didn't have a battery, it just had a magneto with lights tied direct to the generator (49 panhead chopper), when I'd stop and it'd idle I'd have a brown spot for a headlight.. You'd not catch me riding like that nowadays, I am too scared. Choppers in the seventies were tied together with spit and saftey pins in between wires, not even taped up.. Hit a bump and "lord of darkness decends upon you. That thing didn't even have any wiring for a switch, just piece of a hacksaw blade on the terminal on the "joe Hunt magneto" short it out, the motor dies. I thought that was cool.

                        True, when the good smoke comes out of a very expensive device it is not any good any more. You must perform the "ohh crap" dance around it thou.. I see it daily workign as a electrician.



                        • #13
                          <font face="Verdana, Arial" size="2">Originally posted by Paul Gauthier:
                          Priceless. I believe every word.
                          but I don't want to be in your shoes when our British counterparts read this.


                          We don't mind at all.
                          Just a couple of points to clear up though.

                          [1] Lucas never made refigerators, if they had they would have worked on electricity and not had to rely on a steeenking infernal combustion engine like the Maytag.

                          [2] The British no longer serve warm beer and haven't done so since the big influx of Italian refigeration equipment quite a few years ago. 99% of refigerators here today, regardless of name are made in Italy, 1% are made in Germany.
                          None are imported from the US. What does that tell you.?

                          [3] Our home brewed beers are now served at the standard temerature required by imported so called beers like lagers and Budweiser. This simplifies the refigeration systems.
                          The reason these imported 'beers' have to be kept chilled is due to the weak, gassy make up of these 'beers'.
                          If kept at a higher temperature they just froth over and escape.
                          The draw back to this is true British beers are now too cold.

                          A classic example of this is buying two pints at the bar. I always order two pints as I once had one spilt. At one time I could drink one at the bar whilst the other was being served. This stopped the spilt drink problem.
                          Now though I can't get 1/2 way down before my order is complete due to it being 'too' cold.
                          This now causes problems I never had before as I have to carry more glasses back to the table.

                          [4] Last but not least, about 10 years ago Lucas was split up into two divisions, Automotive and Aerospace.
                          We kept the lucrative Aerospace division and sold the Automotive division to the US.

                          You now own Lucas.

                          John S.


                          Sir John , Earl of Bligeport & Sudspumpwater. MBE [ Motor Bike Engineer ] Nottingham England.


                          • #14
                            Wow John! What a comeback! Point #4 was almost below the belt.


                            • #15
                              <font face="Verdana, Arial" size="2">Originally posted by John Stevenson:

                              None are imported from the US. What does that tell you.?

                              EC import restrictions work!

                              Our refrigerators are made in china anyway.

                              BTW, the only decent beer I have drunk in the US was "Golden Pheasant", which comes from the Czhech Republic.

                              All the rest of the fermented liquids that are remotely drinkable are Ale. Most do come from the UK.

                              The local product here (St Louis is headquarters of Anheuser-Busch) smells about like very dilute skunk musk, and tastes how you would think from that smell. I dunno how anyone drinks it.

                              [This message has been edited by J Tiers (edited 05-05-2004).]
                              1601 2137 5683 1002 1437

                              Keep eye on ball.
                              Hashim Khan

                              If you look closely at a digital signal, you find out it is really analog......